Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 142 "Where's your Shirt?"Personal poems
8 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Your name for this form is appropriately playful and I enjoyed your photographs of the kids. Your rhymes and repeats are very effective, as is your alliteration of "r's" and "s's". Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
  |
Your name for this form is appropriately playful and I enjoyed your photographs of the kids. Your rhymes and repeats are very effective, as is your alliteration of "r's" and "s's". Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 11-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
-
Thank you Joan. You always absorb the details so well.
-
Thanks for the compliment and have a pleasant weekend when it arrives- Joan
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Aidan is such a young boy, see him busy doing the mischief with his brothers and others all day, he is identifiable with his red shirt, so mom is always after him with the red shirt; well said, well done. Write inspire change for 1234 Years--- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
|
Aidan is such a young boy, see him busy doing the mischief with his brothers and others all day, he is identifiable with his red shirt, so mom is always after him with the red shirt; well said, well done. Write inspire change for 1234 Years--- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
-
Thank you ALD. A shirt that would surely attract a bull. Lol. I appreciate your review and comments.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Cat-a-strophe. When a young child is not in one way or another busy and lively, he must be sick. There is a difference in naughty and lively.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
|
A very well-written Cat-a-strophe. When a young child is not in one way or another busy and lively, he must be sick. There is a difference in naughty and lively.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
-
Thank you Sandra. Good point.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fun write that seems very personal and about your family and I enjoyed the tenacity of the little ones to do as they please! But sometimes they get themselves into trouble, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
|
A fun write that seems very personal and about your family and I enjoyed the tenacity of the little ones to do as they please! But sometimes they get themselves into trouble, love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
-
Thank you Dolly. They certainly do. Appreciate the review and comments.
Comment from Pantygynt
The notes are a bit confusing here, Tom. I think you mean that the quatrains should be in iambic pentameter but it does not actually read that way. Some of the natural stresses do get across the metre although the syllables may add to ten and there are a number of metrical substitutions. I am not sure whether you intended those.
I remember those great days when Cat was active on site, but she has ceased her sub now unfortunately.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
|
The notes are a bit confusing here, Tom. I think you mean that the quatrains should be in iambic pentameter but it does not actually read that way. Some of the natural stresses do get across the metre although the syllables may add to ten and there are a number of metrical substitutions. I am not sure whether you intended those.
I remember those great days when Cat was active on site, but she has ceased her sub now unfortunately.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
-
Thank you Pantygynt. Cat was not one to specify meter, many were mixed. She didn't specify iambic for this one as I recall. I do miss her too. Wonder what happened? Seems like she left angry.
Comment from dmt1967
Kids have no inhibitions lol. He sounds like a puka boy and I loved the image of everyone searching for his shirt lol. With mine, it was the shoes lol. She is twenty three now and she still can't find them lol. Great poem and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
|
Kids have no inhibitions lol. He sounds like a puka boy and I loved the image of everyone searching for his shirt lol. With mine, it was the shoes lol. She is twenty three now and she still can't find them lol. Great poem and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
-
Thanks you DMT. Good to hear from you again. It's always something with the kids. Have a happy and prosperous New Yeare.
Comment from Graybærd
As a father of a little boy who cannot seem to keep things like shirt, shoes or socks on I can relate to this poem on many levels and I love it.
With that said, I could not give it the accolades or deserves due to spelling errors.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
 |
As a father of a little boy who cannot seem to keep things like shirt, shoes or socks on I can relate to this poem on many levels and I love it.
With that said, I could not give it the accolades or deserves due to spelling errors.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
-
Thank you Greybaerd. I quess I better go back and check out the spelling.
-
Hmm. I looked again and found no errors. I'd be interested in you perspective.
-
It is barely noticeable and I apologize if it is intentional but in the third line from the bottom
?whether it's to rum, or play, or swim?
?rum > run?
-
O)h, you are correct. Thank you my eyes went right on past that . Will fix immediately .Much appreciated.
Comment from melodymavic
I like your title. Repeating the sentence three times. Reminds me of reading a storybook. This shows the protagonist, Aidan like to play around. It's good to be kids running around and appreciating childhood memories.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
|
I like your title. Repeating the sentence three times. Reminds me of reading a storybook. This shows the protagonist, Aidan like to play around. It's good to be kids running around and appreciating childhood memories.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2019
-
Tghank you melodymavic. I appreciate your review and comments. I'm smiling. Yes, it is a good thing.
