Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 110 "Chapter Dreiunddreissig part zwei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
19 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Anther good instalment here as Shana tries to work things out. Just watch for the eye-meeting thing. It's not prevalent in any particular instalment at the moment but it does happen a lot over the course of things.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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Hi there,
Anther good instalment here as Shana tries to work things out. Just watch for the eye-meeting thing. It's not prevalent in any particular instalment at the moment but it does happen a lot over the course of things.
All the best
G
Comment Written 14-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2019
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I am trying to stop the eye meetings. Someone else mentioned it too.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
An excellent chapter, my friend. Religion can be such a source of conflict. Too bad we can't just all agree to get along~Debbie
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2019
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An excellent chapter, my friend. Religion can be such a source of conflict. Too bad we can't just all agree to get along~Debbie
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janilou
Very advanced chapter in your book. When I come across chapters that are well into a book, I usually try to focus mainly on looking for edits needed or any glaring issues. Didn't see anything in need of correction.
The only thing I noticed is this:
"Have you asked him?" When Shana shook her head, Jeff continued, "Why not? It seems to me you're worrying about something that you're afraid of and haven't got all the facts."
If this were mine, I think I would split it like this:
"Have you asked him?"
When Shana shook her head, Jeff continued, "Why not? It seems to me you're worrying about something that you're afraid of and haven't got all the facts."
All the best,
Jan Anderegg
(Author of the Julu series)
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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Very advanced chapter in your book. When I come across chapters that are well into a book, I usually try to focus mainly on looking for edits needed or any glaring issues. Didn't see anything in need of correction.
The only thing I noticed is this:
"Have you asked him?" When Shana shook her head, Jeff continued, "Why not? It seems to me you're worrying about something that you're afraid of and haven't got all the facts."
If this were mine, I think I would split it like this:
"Have you asked him?"
When Shana shook her head, Jeff continued, "Why not? It seems to me you're worrying about something that you're afraid of and haven't got all the facts."
All the best,
Jan Anderegg
(Author of the Julu series)
Comment Written 05-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2019
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I will check that area out. Thank you for the review.
Comment from Rob Caudle
Barb another good read it is good that Shana has Jeff and Susan for support. Marrying outside of ones faith creates many problems and the resulting stress you have captured quite well. See yob in the next bit.
Rob
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
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Barb another good read it is good that Shana has Jeff and Susan for support. Marrying outside of ones faith creates many problems and the resulting stress you have captured quite well. See yob in the next bit.
Rob
Comment Written 03-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from susand3022
Hello Barbara, It's nice to meet you. I've decided to meet a lot of new people "this year" and expand my reading base. I enjoyed the chapter in your book, (Bob Mastry was right, I don't have to know the whole thing to appreciate a chapter!) I like the way you revealed Shana's predicament to me and a way in which it could be handled fairly.
There are a few spots you should take care of... all places where there should be a space or where you forgot to put in an end-quote.
"Sorry, Papa's wonderful. -needs an end-quote.
"... a different way to think about things -needs an end-quote.
Now, as to the spacing... is it me??? or is there only one space between sentences? They all seem to run together and it's hard to tell where there's a period and where there's a comma except for the capital letters. I don't know if it's the font, some of them just look like that. You may try Grammarly. Do you have it? I love it myself, a friend on here suggested it to me and I would post the most wretched looking things without it, I swear! This would be full of errors without it! LOL, It's a free app. You may have to restart it once in a while but it's totally worth it. It will catch things like your missed end-quotes as well I think, it's pretty good at context.
It looks like your story is coming along! I'm looking forward to catching some more!
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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
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Hello Barbara, It's nice to meet you. I've decided to meet a lot of new people "this year" and expand my reading base. I enjoyed the chapter in your book, (Bob Mastry was right, I don't have to know the whole thing to appreciate a chapter!) I like the way you revealed Shana's predicament to me and a way in which it could be handled fairly.
There are a few spots you should take care of... all places where there should be a space or where you forgot to put in an end-quote.
"Sorry, Papa's wonderful. -needs an end-quote.
"... a different way to think about things -needs an end-quote.
Now, as to the spacing... is it me??? or is there only one space between sentences? They all seem to run together and it's hard to tell where there's a period and where there's a comma except for the capital letters. I don't know if it's the font, some of them just look like that. You may try Grammarly. Do you have it? I love it myself, a friend on here suggested it to me and I would post the most wretched looking things without it, I swear! This would be full of errors without it! LOL, It's a free app. You may have to restart it once in a while but it's totally worth it. It will catch things like your missed end-quotes as well I think, it's pretty good at context.
It looks like your story is coming along! I'm looking forward to catching some more!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
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I don't understand what happened to those two ending quotations. I'm sure they were there, maybe gremlins removed them during the night. LOL I have added them. As for the spacing, I have no clue. I went back and checked my original manuscript and there are two spaces between sentences. I write in cambria at 18 font and have done the same sSince I started FS in August 2008 and you're the first person to complain about it. Thank you for the review.
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Barbara, It's not a complaint. As I said, some fonts just look that way. It's my vision I expect... It's going downhill like a slalom skier!
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I struggle reading red background and some colors a few poets use.
Comment from Artasylum
I love your characters... and I really think your pacing and thoughts and characters are right on the money! Jeff came closer. "Little lady, you don't look fine. You appear to be sitting by yourself, crying.
Great Job... looking forward to a new chapter.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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I love your characters... and I really think your pacing and thoughts and characters are right on the money! Jeff came closer. "Little lady, you don't look fine. You appear to be sitting by yourself, crying.
Great Job... looking forward to a new chapter.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from LovnPeace
Wow, it amazes me how you can keep up and not confuse them all. You are indeed a writer judging from this chapter. I thin you want your notes to be right also.
Thank you Google Images for (an photo) of the Star of David. Shana's Jewish faith has had a big effect on- I think this (an) only goes before a vow. Inte.resting story.
Blessings
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Wow, it amazes me how you can keep up and not confuse them all. You are indeed a writer judging from this chapter. I thin you want your notes to be right also.
Thank you Google Images for (an photo) of the Star of David. Shana's Jewish faith has had a big effect on- I think this (an) only goes before a vow. Inte.resting story.
Blessings
Comment Written 02-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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LOL I will fix that. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Tootsie55
I love Fiddler on the roof. You know in places in that show/movie there is so much teaching and even witness of God's truth. IN the dance and singing after Tzeitel and Mottle tell Tevcia they want to marry and all that. But of course they are both Jewish so not quite the same. I will message you about something else to do with Fiddler. Good job, and no spags and I love how things are progressing. There are more trip stories up. Glad you came along when I still had a SIX! I hope I rate an autographed hard copy of this book when it is published. I would love Louise to read it.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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I love Fiddler on the roof. You know in places in that show/movie there is so much teaching and even witness of God's truth. IN the dance and singing after Tzeitel and Mottle tell Tevcia they want to marry and all that. But of course they are both Jewish so not quite the same. I will message you about something else to do with Fiddler. Good job, and no spags and I love how things are progressing. There are more trip stories up. Glad you came along when I still had a SIX! I hope I rate an autographed hard copy of this book when it is published. I would love Louise to read it.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
This is quite a problem for Shana. Although nothing is yet solved, she does at least have some useful leads that might solve her moral dilemma. I thought the interaction between characters particularly good in this chapter.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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This is quite a problem for Shana. Although nothing is yet solved, she does at least have some useful leads that might solve her moral dilemma. I thought the interaction between characters particularly good in this chapter.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from royowen
Well done with this, I think Timothy in the bible had a Jewish mum and grandmother and a gentile father, so there is a precedent for it Barbara. So I don't imagine Her father would object. Both my daughter's happiness was paramount in my eyes, their choice was my choice. My daughters made both their young men to receive my blessing, of course I gave it, they are both happily. The blessing of the father is biblically important, that's why Shana's anxious. Well done, Barbara, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Well done with this, I think Timothy in the bible had a Jewish mum and grandmother and a gentile father, so there is a precedent for it Barbara. So I don't imagine Her father would object. Both my daughter's happiness was paramount in my eyes, their choice was my choice. My daughters made both their young men to receive my blessing, of course I gave it, they are both happily. The blessing of the father is biblically important, that's why Shana's anxious. Well done, Barbara, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 02-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
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Thank you for the insight. I appreciate it.
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Most welcome
