Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

Hi Tony,
My goodness.
Another delightfully timed chapter with skilled build upof tension balanced by casual flirting AND a clever finale.
Blessings
Shirley

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2019

Thanks, Shirley. I enjoyed writing this chapter. Maybe one day I'll make it to the Moulin Rouge myself! All the best, Tony

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

I always enjoy the cheeky dialogue between Helen and Charles and you use it cleverly to move the story along. What a final twist, with Kayla being one of the Doriss dancers. Great chapter Tony,
cheers
valda

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018

Thanks, Valda. I appreciate your review and the encouragement.

Comment from Mustang Patty

Exceptional

Hi, Tony,

Another brilliant chapter! I'm enjoying this story very much - I think your dialogue and sense of humor works well - it moves along the piece with 'showing' and I felt like I was with them as they teased,

Looking forward to more,

~patty~

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 26-Nov-2018

Very many thanks, Patty, for your supportive comments and six star award. Much appreciated :) Tony

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Exceptional

I love love LOVE the way you write. You just have a way of putting things that seems so RIGHT and I adore your work- as always your talent humbles me. Well done on a marvellous energetic and fabulous write kindest regards Meia xx

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 25-Nov-2018

What a nice thing to say, and very much appreciated! I'd be a happy man indeed if I could achieve the intensity of feeling that comes through your work. Mine, in comparison, is fairly lightweight. Thanks very much for the extra star and your kind words. All the best, Tony

Comment from Adri7enne

Exceptional

Yes, that moved along nicely. I enjoyed the flirty dialogue between Charles and Helen. The story is developing well, especially with finding her sister again. That gives an encouraging twist to it. I think you have a new one posted. Next!

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 25-Nov-2018

Thanks, Adrienne. Glad you are still enjoying it. I appreciate the extra star. All the best, Tony

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Tony. Your writing is always so well done. Clear and interesting with good dialogue between characters as well as scene setting. The setting of the Moulin Rouge tops of this chapter nicely with its activity and finding the dwarf and Helen's sister. Nice new profile photo of you and the dog. Marilyn

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 25-Nov-2018

Thanks, Marilyn. I appreciate your continued support and kind words. I'm surprised that I'm able to get any writing done at all, with this new little monster under my feet all the time! Best wishes, Tony

reply by BeasPeas on 25-Nov-2018

LOL. I'm sure the pup is a gem. My dog is by my feet right now. What would life be without them?
Marilyn

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

Hello Tony,
Charles is a magician. He seems to be able to pull kisses out of hat.
Excellent decision to bring Kayla back into the story
and the reference to Germain the Dwarf helps connect to earlier scenes.
The circle is tightening up a bit.
Never hurts to have a scene in the Moulin Rouge, either.
It will be interesting to hear Kayla's story.
Well done
Deserves a six.
Robert

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 25-Nov-2018

Thanks, Robert. Yes, Charles does seem to be able to attract a random kiss or two above the average. I shall have to see if I can find out what his secret is. All the best, Tony

Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

-A good image to set the stage
for your chapter, Tony.
-It is a good one that flows
effortlessly from beginning to end.
-There are a lot of events taking place,
as well as revelations at the end.
-The scene at the hospital is a good one,
with Charles revealing his suspicion of
Jeanne and her background.
-The banter with the receptionist
lightens the mood.
-The change of scenery to the
Moulin Rouge is done well.
-Charles and Helen are enjoying
themselves, and deservedly so.
-The description of the performers
and their costumes is very vivid.
-Finally, you surprise us at the end
with Helen's reference to the dwarf performer
they had learned about, and then,
to Helen's and the reader's amazement,
Kayla is part of the Doriss girls.
-That should make for a very
good follow up chapter.

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 25-Nov-2018

Thanks, Pam. I very much appreciate the time you are putting in to support my writing. Kind of you, too, to award this chapter an extra star. Best wishes, Tony

reply by Pam (respa) on 25-Nov-2018

You are very welcome and deserving of the review, support, and the 6 stars, Tony.
You didn't tell me about your new profile photo.

Comment from estory

Excellent

The moment when Helen finds Kayla in the line of Can Can dancers at the famous and exotic Moulin Rouge ties all the loose elements together in this chapter, and we still have Jeanne in the back of our minds, possibly in danger of being kidnapped by the Mafia. But we seem to see Helen going full circle here, tying together her days as a night club dancer in Asia with finding her friend here in Paris. A rescue could be in the offing. I liked the dialogue, it was true to characters, Lively, realistic. Good descriptions of the surroundings make this come alive. estory

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

Thanks, estory. Good to hear that some of the loose ends are getting tied up and that the dialogue is working well. I appreciate your comments. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Wow! what a place to find her daughter. LOL--no food mentioned, but just dinner. Did you know that Victor Hugo wrote the Hunchback of Notre Dame as a way to show Paris to readers. You seem to be doing much the same. A story inside a travel log.

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 24-Nov-2018

Many thanks for your comments, Shari. Yes, it is becoming a bit of a tour around the tourist spots of Paris! I hadn't heard that Victor Hugo did much the same. Probably rather better than me! LOL
The characters are now on a starvation diet (excluding necessities like champagne, of course).