Reviews from

Warrior

The wounds dont always show

7 total reviews 
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Three rhyming couplets per sestet make up the bulk of this poem with the rhythm carried over into the final five line envoi.

I have to say at this juncture that, as an English man I found two of the rhymes odd, but this could be a question of local pronunciation. I am happy to accept near rhyme and assonance as part of a regular rhyme scheme but I had difficulty in the first stanza rhyming 'worn' with 'arms', and in the third stanza with 'vain' and 'friends'.

Apart from his I had no issues with this.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
    I?m glad you enjoyed it. Finding just the right words did require a bit of ?poetic license?, as it were, but I was happy with the final result.
Comment from AngieDee
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh wow. I am nearly in tears for the emotion expressed in your words. Any critique I offered would fall flat. All I can say in my humble opinion is this is a masterpiece.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
    I?m flattered that it moved you. Thank you for the kind words.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This warrior story has a romantic connotation to it, I so enjoyed the story, it was is well written and heroic, and I wish you luck with the contest, a joy to read, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
    My thanks for the kind words. It is sincerely appreciated.
Comment from HarryT
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This a wonderful, insightful, poem. Not sure a rhyming poem requires every line to rhyme.
Correction needed in introduction line: "The wounds donĂ¢??t always show"
White print would be easier to read instead of gold.
Last line, second stanza suggest will not instead of "cannot". Just my opinion.
Third stanza lines one a two do not rhyme - vain - friends. Nor do lines three, four and five in last stanza. Disregard comment if not evey line required to rhyme

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
    Thank you for bringing up that typo. Not sure how it happened but I?ve fixed it. Also, I changed the background and font colors to make it easier to read.
Comment from eltwelve
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That was beautifully written, flowed smoothly for easy reading. The emotions oozed out of your words. The picture is very complimentary. People don't see the emotional wounds.
I found the red background a little hard to read the text

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
    I?ve changed to blue with white text. It should be easier on the eyes. Thanks for the critique and the advice.
Comment from papa55mike
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very well-written epic poem that reminds me of the Conan books. A mighty warrior spent after an epic battle. One thing, you might lighten the font a little, it would make it easier to read. Great job!

Have a great day and God bless.
mike

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
    Several people have commented on the font color so I made a change. It should be easier on the eyes now. Thanks for the critique.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well-written rhyming poem about the war that started with your fearless men but at the end we only see broken, painful pieces of men who don't know how to deal with the demons haunting them.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
    Thank you for your interpretation of my piece. I?m glad you liked it :).