Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 101 "Chapter Dreissig Part vier"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

20 total reviews 
Comment from Zue65
Excellent
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This is the fun part of this story. I've got to see too, how the dogs cornered Shana and why the dogs acted that way. I can't wait for the next post. As always the author was effective in maintaining the interest of the readers. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2018
    Thank you for the encouraging review/
Comment from Sugarray77
Excellent
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This is an excellent story in your continuing saga of Perennials of War. I liked how you kept the dialogue homey and friendly before things turned professional again. Good read.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
    Thank you for the kind and encouraging review.
Comment from Realist101
Excellent
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Hi Barb, I am lost with this as I can't sit here long enough to catch up with book chapters, but I do enjoy your fine skill in taking the story and creating length! And I always admire your dialogue too.

Great characters also. I like picturing who I would cast as them from Hollywood! :) Nice work as always Barb! S.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sefiros
Excellent
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Worrying about people is a part of love. It's a delicate balance between trust and anxiety. So many parents would think nothing of encasing their children in an impervious bubble to protect them from the big bad world. But a relationship without trust isn't really a relationship at all. You manage to portray this piece of knowledge with a brilliant example. Good job and keep it up.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
    I am always happy to hear from you. Thank you.
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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A realistic conversation between two mates out fishing. Nothing like a bit of fresh air and a fishing line to draw a man out of himself. I was particularly aware of the effective way in which you use action tags to make this more than just a pair of 'talking heads'.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
    Coming from you is a really special. Thank you.
Comment from SLMorrical
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This flows right from the last chapter. I really enjoy reading your writing. This is well written and flows well. I like the ending of this chapter, because it makes me want to read the next. Well done. Keep writing,

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from apky
Excellent
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A very nice chapter, showing the reader the inner workings of Drew in regards to Shana. A nice touch bringing in the man talk while out fishing. Now I'm worried that something more than just the dogs are blocking Shana from getting out, or the security getting in, lol!

Excellent chapter.

"Do I think you're being too protective of Shana? Good question." ~ You could reduce this to just: Do I think you are?
and avoid the redundant repetition. The reader already knows what they're talking about.

"Do you think your mom worried about you while (you were) in the Marines?" ~ It wasn't mom who was in the Marines.

She('s) stronger than you think.

"It seems the dogs have her cornered in the kitchen and won't allow her to move or security to enter." ~ The end of this sentence is rather awkward. Perhaps you could phrase it differently and make it smoother.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
    I have made the corrections. I appreciate the help.
reply by apky on 29-Oct-2018
    lways a pleasure to assist where I can.
Comment from Adri7enne
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hard for Drew to know where to draw the line between keeping Shana safe and suffocating her. He's sort of in helicopter mode, always hovering nearby. But the minute he leaves her to cope on her own, some kind of an emergency occurs. What now? Lol! Well done, Barb.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Drew was smart to get some advice. This is too much for him to handle on his own. Jeff comes right out and mentions a wedding. Good for him!

It's cute how the dogs protect her. Still, they can't use guns.

Fishing was a good idea. Drew needed to get away from his world for a while to think clearly. He is as protective of Shana as her father is. Will she go from one guard to another if she marries him? She'll never be free to think for herself. Hate to say it, but maybe they aren't a good match... for her, that is.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
    We'll have to wait and see. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Kelly Hanna
Excellent
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I am so glad that you include a character list at the end. It really helps the reader that is only just starting to read this story. Very thorough! I liked Anderson and Jeff's easy banter. You can tell that they are at ease with each other. A little humor at the end, helped the reader want to keep reading to see what happens with Shana. This is a good chapter! Keep writing!

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2018


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
    Thank you for the encouraging review.