Haiku (silent dew drop clings)
Haiku Poem (2nd place)13 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
And what, I wonder, does it see? This works very well as a haiku. The nature is there, the season is exemplified by the dew drop and the satori line is as good as it is unexpected with a clean cutting word at the endo f the previous line. Who could ask for more?
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
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And what, I wonder, does it see? This works very well as a haiku. The nature is there, the season is exemplified by the dew drop and the satori line is as good as it is unexpected with a clean cutting word at the endo f the previous line. Who could ask for more?
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
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Pantygynt, I apologize for my late response to your thoughtful review. Time is testing, as always, but your comments are always appreciated. ~DD
Comment from lyenochka
Such a beautiful collection of words strung together to give us so many different perspectives. First it's just a dewdrop clinging and then it's personified with a "point of view" and then there's a play on the word, "view" with "vision" and the "crystal clear" echoes back to the clear sphere of water - the dew drop. Loved it!
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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
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Such a beautiful collection of words strung together to give us so many different perspectives. First it's just a dewdrop clinging and then it's personified with a "point of view" and then there's a play on the word, "view" with "vision" and the "crystal clear" echoes back to the clear sphere of water - the dew drop. Loved it!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
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Helen, I apologize for my late response to your thoughtful review. Time is testing, as always, but your comments are always appreciated. You get me and my play on words. Thank you :-) ~DD
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi DD. This is a well written haiku using the analogy of the dew drop. The third line is perfect. If this is indeed an analogy, suggest "position" instead of "point of view" in the second line. This change would work for the actual dewdrop which clings as well as the analogy for point of view and has the same syllable count. Otherwise, scrap my suggestion entirely and leave it alone as this is excellent in either case. Marilyn
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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
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Hi DD. This is a well written haiku using the analogy of the dew drop. The third line is perfect. If this is indeed an analogy, suggest "position" instead of "point of view" in the second line. This change would work for the actual dewdrop which clings as well as the analogy for point of view and has the same syllable count. Otherwise, scrap my suggestion entirely and leave it alone as this is excellent in either case. Marilyn
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
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Thank you kindly Marilyn for taking the time to review my wee haiku. I am very grateful for your comments. I must apologise for my late response to reviews and reviewing. I have been out of town and, now back, I am chasing my tail again. I do appreciate your encouraging input, as always. Blessings ~DD
ps - I hope to get round to reading about BOT as soon as I can :-)
