Halloween Treats
200 word Horror story contest entry6 total reviews
Comment from frogbook
Quite scary and evil. A good piece of horror in 200 words. These are the kinds of creepy monsters that are all too real and may live next door.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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Quite scary and evil. A good piece of horror in 200 words. These are the kinds of creepy monsters that are all too real and may live next door.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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That's for sure. Thank you for the great review and generous stars, FB. I'm glad you liked this twisted piece.
Comment from trimple
Good morning.
A nice build-up to your Halloween story. The only concern for me was a slight repetition of the words 'door and lock.
I have taken the liberty of re-writing a wee bit, which you may or may not wish to consider.
The candy's right over there"
I pointed to a room, just off the hallway that seeped a striking purple light between the frame and a gap around the door. I tingled with excitement as they scrambled inside for their rewards.
With the children in the room, I locked
them 'in' and hurried to the far end of the hallway and watched the 'mortified' parents come running after them.
Nasty! lol but a super tale for this particular time of year.
kind regards
tracey
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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Good morning.
A nice build-up to your Halloween story. The only concern for me was a slight repetition of the words 'door and lock.
I have taken the liberty of re-writing a wee bit, which you may or may not wish to consider.
The candy's right over there"
I pointed to a room, just off the hallway that seeped a striking purple light between the frame and a gap around the door. I tingled with excitement as they scrambled inside for their rewards.
With the children in the room, I locked
them 'in' and hurried to the far end of the hallway and watched the 'mortified' parents come running after them.
Nasty! lol but a super tale for this particular time of year.
kind regards
tracey
Comment Written 31-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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Thank you for the great review, Tracey. I actually only used the word 'locked' one time. I did use 'room' quite a bit though, lol. I'd like to rewrite it with your suggestions but that would put me way over my 200 word limit for the contest. I already had to cut a lot out of it to made it all fit. Perhaps when the contest is over I'll add the changes in there. I really appreciate the gracious stars, T. I'm glad you liked this twisted piece. have a great night.
Ron
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Evening Ron
Oh! Shite yes... lol
Forgot you had a word dictate for this prompt... Sorry, my bad.
Forgive me for re-writing that particular part of your nasty tale, but I guess I can't help my ear when it comes to the flow of language. :)
tracey
Comment from Realist101
OH my Lordy! Lol! This is pure evil. And gross too. I would like to know what happens next with this story. I would hope the missing families would be found by ?? and given the death penalty. This could be a longer story easily. Nice work...
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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OH my Lordy! Lol! This is pure evil. And gross too. I would like to know what happens next with this story. I would hope the missing families would be found by ?? and given the death penalty. This could be a longer story easily. Nice work...
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Sue. Yeah, my mind goes to twisted places when these prompts ask for horror. Lol. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked this sick little piece. Have a wonderful day.
Ron
Comment from LyndaS
What a delicious sick puppy you are, Mr. Skulls. This was quite the creepy read. I loved it. This is very well crafted by virtue that I pictured all of this horror so easily. The flow on this is spot on. You have an interesting mind sir. Questionable but interesting. :) Great job and good luck in this contest.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2018
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What a delicious sick puppy you are, Mr. Skulls. This was quite the creepy read. I loved it. This is very well crafted by virtue that I pictured all of this horror so easily. The flow on this is spot on. You have an interesting mind sir. Questionable but interesting. :) Great job and good luck in this contest.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2018
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Thank you for the great review and the big sixer, Lynda. The hardest part was finding a picture that came close to what I was looking for, lol. I really appreciate the gracious stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked this twisted piece. Thank you again.
Ron
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I think you did a great job with this little piece. it's all there. it has a playful tone but a very sinister undertone which is very fitting.
I guess the homeowner give them a trick and him the treats.
great stuff
GMG
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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Hi there,
I think you did a great job with this little piece. it's all there. it has a playful tone but a very sinister undertone which is very fitting.
I guess the homeowner give them a trick and him the treats.
great stuff
GMG
Comment Written 21-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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Hey, Gman, hi. Thank you so much for the great review and big sixer, friend. It made my day. The hardest part of this was finding a picture that even came close to what I was looking for, lol. I really appreciate the generous stars, GMG. I'm glad you liked my twisted tale. Thank you again. Have a great rest of your weekend.
Ron
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Your Halloween story is truly a horror, fitting the bill well for the 200 Word or Under Horror Flash Fiction.
Your grim tale is clear and vivid.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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Your Halloween story is truly a horror, fitting the bill well for the 200 Word or Under Horror Flash Fiction.
Your grim tale is clear and vivid.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 21-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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Thank you for the great review, Sharon. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked this twisted piece. have a great rest of your weekend.
Ron
