Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Liz. The flavor of this story is wonderful and engrossing whether for pet fans or not. Well done and might even be considered a children's book for a lot of reasons. Nothing wrong with that. Lots of money made in children's books.

Suggestions: Your first paragraph is much too long and therefore considered not to be "reader friendly" Simply cut it in half for better presentation, remembering that paragraphs serve the purpose of allowing the reader "mental pauses" as he or she reads.

Bottom line: Get rid of ll the caps and use your strong verbs casually like the rest of the story. (See any good book at Barnes and Noble) None of them have accentuated words by use of caapitalization. Bless you, Liz. I hope I have helped. Bob

Also: A note on this: "INVESTIGATION exercise. She remembered it sometimes got her nose into sticky situations. She was quickly doing her SCANNING and PLANNING. (Using all caps and bold type does not accomplish anything really. It simply is a distraction in most cases. (I suggest you use your strong verbs let them speak for themselves in regular type.

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2018

Thank you so much for your thorough review. I have since this, removed the caps in other chapters. I've also since this submission of this Chap gone through and made paragraphs shorter. I didn't think of going back to change this one. I didn't know it would be up for a nomination. Congratulation for coming in first. You are a very skilled writer. I'm glad you enjo9yed this.

Comment from Mabaker

Excellent

Hi Liz, thank you for showing me where to open your portfolio, I am getting help from a few different directions at the moment, some like yours are complimentary while others... Is this story designed for children? From the terminology, I gather it is. Another rude question does your computer not have Italics mode? It might be easier on you than resorting to capital letters. A very enjoyable story, Sincerely Anne.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2018

This story is in the Winnie the Pooh genre, for any age but marketed to children. I've since dropped the capitals, and used italics. Thank you for taking the time.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Liz. The perfect art to introduce Sweet Puppy to your readers. Congratulations on your book being on Amazon. You are an excellent writer and I love your story. Much luck in the contest with this fine chapter. Marilyn

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2018

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2018

Thank you so much for your support. I hope yours does well too, Hopefully both of us will come in at least third. Thank you form your lovely review.

reply by BeasPeas on 09-Nov-2018

I think you will win and rightly deserved. :)

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2018

Thank you for your supportive comments.

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

I think this would excellent reading to launch youngsters toward sleep. I think you have a good idea in the thought-pattern routines, animals do have fixed responses to certain stimuli...

 Comment Written 23-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2018

Thank you so much for you affirming review. I appreciate that. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

How thoughtful and kind of Bea the wee bear to adopt Sweet Puppy who was obviously lost and afraid. Bea's poem made Sweet Puppy feel safe enough to wag her tail and gladly go with Bea.

Lovely reading. Best of luck with the book.

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 20-Oct-2018

Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

The events of the day unfold to find a puppy a poor lost soul bea finds and saves the puppy from a life of harm. She runs the puppy's life around to be a sweet and happy puppy.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2018

Thank you for your considerate review. I appreciate you taking the time and interest.

reply by country ranch writer on 20-Oct-2018

Smiles

Comment from Earl Corp

Excellent

Coming in the middle was kind of confusing. I noticed some words were capitalized, what was the significance of that? The writing was clean with no glaring errors to be noted. A cast of charavters list might be helpful.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2018

The Caps go with the exercises Bea develops throughout her wee life of learning. Or things which interfere with her growth. Or if someone is reading it aloud, they might emphasize the word. The cast of characters is in the author's notes, which oddly are at the end of the submission. If you read Chap 1 & 3 you could get a good sense of who Bea is. Thank you for your review.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Congratulations on having your book available on Kindle on Amazon. Thanks for introducing us to "Sweet Puppy" and the "Unfixable exercise". I enjoyed the internal rhymes in your poem as well. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018

Thank you for your supportive review. I am honored.

Comment from Roxanna Andrews

Excellent

This is so cute. Love that Bea is always wanting to help other and make them happy. A great lesson for children and adults alike. Looking forward to Bea's next adventure. Rox

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2018

Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm so glad you are enjoying Bea's adventures. It's nice to have a fan.

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Hooray! Now we have Sweet Puppy added to the mix - how wonderful! Your writes always put my mood on the right trajectory for the day, Liz -- kinda like moving side to side as if doing a HAPPY DANCE exercise!! :) :) Thank you for sharing! :) Yvette

 Comment Written 13-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2018

Your review made me smile. I'm so happy you are getting some of the positive effects intended from journeying with Bea.