Comment from catch22

Excellent

Hi Craig, this was a skillful poem with a good message about people needing to expand their worldview if the entire species is to survive and thrive. I liked the use of anapests in the lines and thought it made for a rhythmic read.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2018

Thanks so much for the lovely comments, Pam. I've just finished one, not the one I'll post today, but it will go up tomorrow, I think, along similar lines, but a bit longer. Most grateful, Craig

reply by catch22 on 06-Oct-2018

You are welcome and I will keep an eye out for your post.

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi, Craig,

Wow - I actually got three new word/phrases out of this poem. I think I've heard trope used before because here in the Pacific NW - they are constantly looking for new words for 'rain.'

Your dark cloud seems to be a metaphor for all the dark things on the horizon,


~MP~

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2018

That's pretty much the idea, Patty. Thanks very much for the great comments :) Craig

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Wow! What a turn from the first stanza about simple weather forecasting. Somehow, your poem looks beyond clouds and into the soul of humankind and what will happen to all in the future. Well done!

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2018

Thanks very much, Helen. Much appreciated.

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Excellent rhymed and metred poem, Craig. I've never understood the need to play the zero-sum game either but apparently it's some kind of mathematical equation.

Excellent linking of weather casts to the optimist.

Much enjoyed the new word.

Gloria

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018

Thanks muchly, Gloria. I'm not sure weather-sharp is one I'll work into conversations at parties. Oh, who am I kidding? What parties? :)

Comment from meeshu

Excellent

you made a gigantic leap from a cloud to universal social commentary but I was able to hang on. this is a well rhymed poem with out brining up the "weathermen" of the sixties. good job, CD......................meeshu

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018

I felt that I got the job done in three stanzas, and making it longer wouldn't have necessarily made it better. If you found it a bit bumpy, I'm glad you were able to weather it (oh, dear) :) Thanks for the kind words, Meeshu.

Comment from Hugh McDowell

Excellent

I love how you start with the weather and end using it as a metaphor for life. I've never heard of a weather-sharp but I understood it immediately. Just like when I heard wordsmith for the first time. Well paced and good rhyming. Hugh

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018

Thanks so much for the great comments, Hugh. I'm glad you enjoyed -- Craig

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Craig. This is a very well written poem with good pace, rhyming, and a new word for us. First stanza, especially, is excellent and a foreshadowing of a dark truth. Please explore "weather geoengineering." Scary stuff. Marilyn

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018

Indeed it is, Marilyn. Screw it up, and it's bye-bye everyone. Many thanks for the kind comments.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written poem that explains meteorology and the forecast of weather that only specialist can do with some degree of correct prediction of the weather patterns we experience daily.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018

Thank you, Sandra.

The best weather forecasting device I have ever seen consists of a rock suspended by a piece of chain. Underneath it, on timber boards, is a guide to interpreting the device's signals, based on observation of the rock:

Dry - fine
Wet - rain
White - snow
Swinging - windy
Jumping - earthquake
Gone - cyclone

Comment from rama devi

Exceptional

Absolutely relevant and well voiced--unique in phrasing style and descriptive caliber....bravo! Excellent phonetics in phrasing with poetic devices. Fine flow and rhyming.

Especially liked these lines:

The weather-sharp frowns as he surveys the sky,

AND:

that life must be played like a zero-sum game,
and happiness comes through embracing excess.

*
will the thunderclouds clear,(no ,) and the sky turn to blue?


Favorite lines are the closing AHA:
For us to survive requires more than a trope;
the answer we need is a modified view.


Superb imagery. Superb presentaiton and image as well.

Six stars for you!

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018

Well, I'm about to head off to bed here, and, thanks to you, I shall do so with a smile on my face :)

Thanks for the wonderfully generous comments, RD, and the equally generous rating.

I took that pesky comma out too.

Most grateful, once again.

Craig

reply by rama devi on 04-Oct-2018

Thanks for your gracious response, dear Craig.

Best, rd

Comment from Debbie Pope

Exceptional

This one is taxing my tired brain this morning. It's more complex than usual and well thought out. We certainly do not need to embrace excess. And, we need a major modification of out outlook on life. Sorry to say that I did not know any of the words that you so kindly defined. Improving my vocabulary is just a side benefit of this poem. It is very good.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018

The basic idea is, maybe I don't have to win by making you the loser, which seems to be what capitalism has turned into. With thought, maybe we could all be winners. Of course, I don't see that happening. I really appreciate the lovely comments and the delightful rating, Debbie. Thank you :) Craig