Reviews from

The Birth of Imagination

cave dude stares at the sky and realizes something

6 total reviews 
Comment from Earl Corp
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow you summed up a caveman's existence in just 150 words. It's hard to believe the humble, primitive beginnings mankind as evolved from. Nice job! Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your interest.
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This one-hundred-fifty-word flash fiction story, The Birth of Imagination, introduces the thinking man into the world who has a hard time somehow believing that things just happen.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your comments.
Comment from Adri7enne
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"And so we give birth to religion, and to every war that has happened since( throughout human in our history.)"

It stands well, except for that last line. I know you're trying to stay within the 150 words but I would play with that line and try to make it clearer. "since, throughout human...." Doesn't really make sense that last bit. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
    I was horrified by that phrasing upon re-reading. Thank you for your comments and I hope I have competently adjusted.
Comment from giraffmang
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there,

You might want to check out the competition requirements again here. You piece comes in at 140 words or so but the conditions here call for exactly 150 words.

"There has to be something more," he thinks mournfully, too inarticulate to understand his own thinking - I don't get this. How can he be thinking it but not be able to identify with it?

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
    That's for the heads up on the words. I didn't count, just relied on the estimate from the site. I fixed that. The lack of understanding of his own primitive thoughts, his inability to comprehend anything in the world around him makes him doubt everything and seek an easy answer called imagination, giving birth to God.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A poignant write and so true, we war because of the differences in opinion, and I doubt there will ever be a coming together of ideas in this department, a profound write, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your kindness to me, and, apparently, to the world in general. There was a lot to say and it was pretty hard to narrow to 150 words.
Comment from meeshu
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

in one hundred and fifty words you have raised a myriad of assertions and questions. a very interesting hypothetical of how it all began. nice work, Lance.....................meeshu

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
    Thank you again.