Baker's Dozen
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Flashback 2"Ben Baker has to hunt down and kill twelve people
18 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
So Joseph saves the Vietnamese man from being eaten by the crocodile, and then it looks as if that man is going to kill him!! That's not fair! What a way to go, though, being eaten by a crocodile. Hmm. Another great part, Bill. :))
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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So Joseph saves the Vietnamese man from being eaten by the crocodile, and then it looks as if that man is going to kill him!! That's not fair! What a way to go, though, being eaten by a crocodile. Hmm. Another great part, Bill. :))
Comment Written 03-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
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Thank you, Sandra. I liked this part too.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Bill. I'm glad to read another prose piece from you. You are a good writer. This little story is full of action with vivid descriptions and scene setting. Good job. Marilyn
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
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Hi Bill. I'm glad to read another prose piece from you. You are a good writer. This little story is full of action with vivid descriptions and scene setting. Good job. Marilyn
Comment Written 18-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Marilyn. I appreciate the kind review. Bill
Comment from Earl Corp
Lots of good action in this story. Got my attention enough I want to read the whole thing.You handled the flashback well not getting lost in the back and forth element.Adding a crocodile into the story was wild, especially after the snakes (luck they weren't two-steppers). G.I. Joseph is beacoup Dinky Dau. I thoroughly enjoyed the story.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Lots of good action in this story. Got my attention enough I want to read the whole thing.You handled the flashback well not getting lost in the back and forth element.Adding a crocodile into the story was wild, especially after the snakes (luck they weren't two-steppers). G.I. Joseph is beacoup Dinky Dau. I thoroughly enjoyed the story.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
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Thanks, Earl, for giving this a look. I hope to both Joseph and Baker through this with some skin left on.
Comment from Spitfire
This shows what an excellent writer you are with great verb action choices: sloshed, squeezed, snatched, grabbed.
Good passage about the nest of snakes.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2018
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This shows what an excellent writer you are with great verb action choices: sloshed, squeezed, snatched, grabbed.
Good passage about the nest of snakes.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2018
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Thanks, Shari. Doesn?t this make you want to take a stroll in a rice paddy?
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I'll take a bye.
Comment from Air Spirit
Although typically I don't read many stories, because I am so drawn to poetry -- I really enjoyed this story... it held my interest, it was fast moving, and full of vivid, albeit somewhat gory detail... I was not expecting someone to have a crocodile try to bite someone's arm off, so that was unexpected and shocking... so that in and of itself, is something memorable and left a lasting impression... the story flowed easily, yet moved quickly.. it held my interest, and kept me anxious to find out more... the story line also I thought was interesting, with just enough characters in it to not get lost, yet keep the narrative intriguing and enjoyable...
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Although typically I don't read many stories, because I am so drawn to poetry -- I really enjoyed this story... it held my interest, it was fast moving, and full of vivid, albeit somewhat gory detail... I was not expecting someone to have a crocodile try to bite someone's arm off, so that was unexpected and shocking... so that in and of itself, is something memorable and left a lasting impression... the story flowed easily, yet moved quickly.. it held my interest, and kept me anxious to find out more... the story line also I thought was interesting, with just enough characters in it to not get lost, yet keep the narrative intriguing and enjoyable...
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Thanks, AS, for the thorough and specific review of this chater of the story. You've addressed what you liked and what you didn't especially like, which is important to know.
Comment from brenda faye curtis
I have read all the chapters thus far and it seems to me that with a bit of fleshing out, this would be a great novel--not for fanstory, but for regular publication. It's exciting, timely and you are developing great characters, an they deserve to be immortalized.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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I have read all the chapters thus far and it seems to me that with a bit of fleshing out, this would be a great novel--not for fanstory, but for regular publication. It's exciting, timely and you are developing great characters, an they deserve to be immortalized.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Brenda for the great review and comments. I like where this has gone so far and hope to keep the plot thickening.
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Thank you, Bill. Work has kept me very busy lately, but I intend to read the rest of Baker's Dozen, and am looking forward to it.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, this was a great chapter and full of action I dare say. I can just visualise the Corporal's journey until he comes to the hut and the ghastly sight. So he rescues his enemy to be eaten by the crocodile. But beware, this is The Far East. His heroic act may not help him against being attacked. Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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Hi Bill, this was a great chapter and full of action I dare say. I can just visualise the Corporal's journey until he comes to the hut and the ghastly sight. So he rescues his enemy to be eaten by the crocodile. But beware, this is The Far East. His heroic act may not help him against being attacked. Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 15-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2018
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We will have to see if Joseph even recovers.
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Very true. :)
Comment from frogbook
Have not had a chance to follow this story but this was certainly an action-packed chapter that kept the reader glued to the page.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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Have not had a chance to follow this story but this was certainly an action-packed chapter that kept the reader glued to the page.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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All the chapters are good, FB. I?ll give you two cents to read them.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I don't think he will harm his after the corporal killed the alligator and freed him from its grasp. He would be a fool to stab him. I think they will become friends over the incident.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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I don't think he will harm his after the corporal killed the alligator and freed him from its grasp. He would be a fool to stab him. I think they will become friends over the incident.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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That?s occidental thinking, Mr. Bowling.
Comment from giraffmang
Nice continuation here, Bill,
Good parallels with this flashback and the present situation.
Good tension.
had been potential crocodile food, rose to standing - you could just say 'stood' here.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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Nice continuation here, Bill,
Good parallels with this flashback and the present situation.
Good tension.
had been potential crocodile food, rose to standing - you could just say 'stood' here.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2018
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Appreciate your giving this a look and the kind review.
