Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed this chapter, Tony. Your dialogue was super. It added great interest to the storyline. I really like the exchange of the 'Mata Hari' 'gun' incident. But I like the 'James Bond' part more. Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2018

Thanks, Jan. I've never found writing dialogue easy - probably because I am more of a listener than a speaker myself! It's most affirming to hear that it is working well here.

Comment from mally mack

Excellent

Your detail here is incredible. I can nearly smell the perfume notes as you described them. I have seen many chapters on FS that are very dialogue oriented or over descriptive - but this chapter is perfect for someone to get a small glimpse into the story and your writing style.

Best wishes

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2018

Very many thanks, Mally. Such an encouraging review.

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

Hello Tony,
What a wimp Charles turns out to be.
I guess being tasered by a toothbrush is very frightening. lol
Nice little play with words in the Bond sequence.

"As soon as we reached my room, she [sat me] on a chair perhaps [guided me to]

Helen remains an intriguing and alluring character.
Excellent chapter.

Robert

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2018

Maybe Charles will turn out to have more backbone than he's displaying at the moment. I sure hope so!

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Another good chapter, Tony.
-You use effective imagery to
describe settings, scents of
her perfume, and even "the beautiful, melodic
song of a blackbird in a nearby apple tree."
-You also keep the reader in suspense
as Helen works on Charles's dressing.
-Most telling is the sense he gets
that Helen has a gun to his back!
-Their dialogue also creates some
sexual tension as we wonder exactly
what their relationship is going to be-
can Helen be trusted, and is Charles
too naive and smitten?

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2018

Thanks, Pam. This is just the kind of speculation that I was hoping to create! Best wishes, Tony

reply by Pam (respa) on 19-Aug-2018

You are very welcome, Tony. I am glad I picked up on the speculation in your story.

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

I haven't been following the story, but this is seductively written. What a tease this woman is. Love the playful reference to James Bond and how he would have reacted to her scene.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018

Thanks, Shari. Glad you enjoyed this chapter. A testing of the waters between farce and reality!

Comment from Artasylum

Excellent

Wow... you had me at toothbrush...
Tony... I loved Mata Hair and Isabella Duncan temptress' they were and fun to study their moves. Your book is killer (no puns) see you in Vienna... such a beautiful place. yours, diana

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018

Many thanks for your review, Diana, and for continuing to follow the story. I shall have to find out more about Isabella (Isadora?) Duncan. She sounds interesting.

reply by Artasylum on 18-Aug-2018

What can I say... I'm brain dead... Isadora is correct sir... Yours, Di Isadora is a scamp!

reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018

I hadn't heard of either of them, but when I looked her up on Google, Isadora seemed the more likely fit!

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Exceptional

I think perhaps it was not just Charles who got the shock, Tony. I think it was the readers as well! LOL. I must admit I'm such a romantic I was pleased when the 'gun' turned out to be an electric toothbrush. A most engaging story, Giddy

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018

Once again, very many thanks for your stamp of excellence, the golden sixth star. Delighted that you are still engaged with the story. I couldn't possibly kill off Charles just yet, but I think he was in need of a fright to go with his imagined suspicions!

Comment from Adri7enne

Excellent

Yes, very nice. Sexy, subtle, a little romantic. The dialogue is fresh, well done. I enjoyed reading this chapter. Good flow to your narrative. Fast paced enough to easily lead your reader through the scene. I'll want to read more of it. Well done!

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018

Thanks, Adrienne. I'm thrilled to have caught your interest.

Comment from heart of Lou

Excellent

Whew! A naked lady picture but none in the story. Oh well.
That was quite the surprise for the guy, feeling that gun in his back, why did she do it? It was a jolt for the reader too. Keeps us awake!

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018

Many thanks for dropping by to review this, Lou. Much appreciated. In the previous chapter, Helen had been asking quite a few awkward questions, which was what prompted her to play the joke on him. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

I'm pleased to read another chapter of this story :) It is heavy on the exotic. I had to shield my eyes from the nearly naked picture, and again when the romance heated up lol! Those things bring readrrs running to find out more. So well done.

My memory is bad so I'll have to run back to read up on how he got injured. Then I'll be able to follow along better. My issue, not yours.

Okay, I have studied up and found the injury was from a piece of glass while helping the landlord with a fallen tree.

Keep writing to us, please.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018

Thanks, Joy. I was uncertain about using that particular picture, but thought the naughty bits were well enough shaded out not to cause too much offence!