Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 89 "Chapter Siebenundzwanzig Part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
21 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
This was a fun chapter. Clearly Shana and Drew are becoming emotionally closer. I know there are still obstacles to them having a relationship, but it does appear there is a possibility of true love between them. I enjoyed this one very much.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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This was a fun chapter. Clearly Shana and Drew are becoming emotionally closer. I know there are still obstacles to them having a relationship, but it does appear there is a possibility of true love between them. I enjoyed this one very much.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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I like that you caught they are getting closer. It's important. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
I'm coming in on this without having read the previous parts, so just a few general impressions. I like the easy and informal dialogue and the way you use it to develop character and to show the relationship between characters. Given the long list of these, I wonder how you keep tabs on them all.
I thought it unusual that the workmen delivering the bed would have forgotten their tools and wondered why you had brought in that detail.
I'd be interested to know which sentence has been causing you difficulties. There was nothing untoward that stood out on first reading.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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I'm coming in on this without having read the previous parts, so just a few general impressions. I like the easy and informal dialogue and the way you use it to develop character and to show the relationship between characters. Given the long list of these, I wonder how you keep tabs on them all.
I thought it unusual that the workmen delivering the bed would have forgotten their tools and wondered why you had brought in that detail.
I'd be interested to know which sentence has been causing you difficulties. There was nothing untoward that stood out on first reading.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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I have had delivery men say they forgot tools. My husband allowed them to use his and often they were stolen. I am using the putting the bed together as another opportunity for Shana and Drew to get closer. Many of the characters are minor but are needed to move the story along. Shana is fighting this relationship because her family is very old fashioned Jewish and Drew is Gentile. I hope this helps. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mally mack
I'm glad that you left a list of characters because of course as these are posted, not everyone is up on every story so it makes it helpful when things pop up for review like this chapter has. It is of course, very well written. I like that there is dialogue, but there is a lot of dialogue.
I don't prefer when Anderson is discussing his ego - stating that he believes it to be healthy. I don't feel this is a believable statement even in a fiction piece. Not to be judgmental towards men, just that they are too basic for that thought process usually.
Also, the chapter name almost deterred me from clicking because I thought that the text would be in another language. I just decided to take the chance. I am not sure if this is common throughout the book, but I was nearly immediately turned off by it.
Best Wishes to you
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reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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I'm glad that you left a list of characters because of course as these are posted, not everyone is up on every story so it makes it helpful when things pop up for review like this chapter has. It is of course, very well written. I like that there is dialogue, but there is a lot of dialogue.
I don't prefer when Anderson is discussing his ego - stating that he believes it to be healthy. I don't feel this is a believable statement even in a fiction piece. Not to be judgmental towards men, just that they are too basic for that thought process usually.
Also, the chapter name almost deterred me from clicking because I thought that the text would be in another language. I just decided to take the chance. I am not sure if this is common throughout the book, but I was nearly immediately turned off by it.
Best Wishes to you
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2018
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The chapter title is that way because it helps ME when I am pulling my posts off FS to edit. I know that seems silly but FS has a way of screwing up the order of the posts. I have already used the English labels on previous novels and FS won't allow you use them again, even 10 years later. I have figured out a better way to do it for my next novel. You are the only reviewer who has complained. I have used them for over a year. If you had been following the story, you would understand why Anderson/Drew made that statement. Thank you for dropping by.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Nooooooooo! That delivery man is not who he says he is, they always have tools with them. I think all hell is going to break loose when Drew and Jeff are out of the way. I can't wait to read the next part, I'm sure I'm right! I loved the pillow fight, and it made me laugh what Jeff said, lol. Well done, my friend. Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Nooooooooo! That delivery man is not who he says he is, they always have tools with them. I think all hell is going to break loose when Drew and Jeff are out of the way. I can't wait to read the next part, I'm sure I'm right! I loved the pillow fight, and it made me laugh what Jeff said, lol. Well done, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment Written 07-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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I have n ever had delivery man bring the proper tools. They have always borrowed my husbands and on occasion have stolen them. We don't allow them to use them anymore. LOL Something is going to happen when the men are away. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from heart of Lou
Great writing! Why shouldn't a billionaire have a pillow fight once in a while? Putting together a bed together sounds like it could turn into something more!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Great writing! Why shouldn't a billionaire have a pillow fight once in a while? Putting together a bed together sounds like it could turn into something more!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Well done. You worked the kinks out with a pillow fight. So - right on. Dignity prevails. Always remember. God is love. And we always wish His presence in our write. That what makes it sing.
About the new principal. Love her or him through all circumstances unconditionally and you will win. Facts. It may seem not but in the long run Love will prevail. Ypu will be glad.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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Well done. You worked the kinks out with a pillow fight. So - right on. Dignity prevails. Always remember. God is love. And we always wish His presence in our write. That what makes it sing.
About the new principal. Love her or him through all circumstances unconditionally and you will win. Facts. It may seem not but in the long run Love will prevail. Ypu will be glad.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
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You words always show your wisdom. I know in my heart you are correct. I am praying for that situation. I know God will change my heart. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I guess Susan likes Shana, despite the fact she Jewish. But does she know her son is smitten with her? Susan didn't ask why they needed another bed? I would have... strange thing to get for a place with all those bedrooms.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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I guess Susan likes Shana, despite the fact she Jewish. But does she know her son is smitten with her? Susan didn't ask why they needed another bed? I would have... strange thing to get for a place with all those bedrooms.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Susan was the one who offered to put another bed in that room. She saw Drew with his cot and Shana on the floor. She has not problem with Shana being Jewish and no problem with Drew being in love with her. Thank you for the kind review.
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So Susan is doing this without her husband's knowledge. He's bound to see the extra bed and wonder why it's there.
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She told her husband and he's the one who ordered the bed.
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Ben? He's okay with them sleeping in the same room?
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No Ben is not. That's one of the unlying problems, but he's not there right now.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Barbara,
You didn't need ANY help, silly. I only found one word, 'short cuts,' which is a compound word, 'shortcuts.'
The rest of this chapter is great. You captured the action of the pillow fight just right, and the sexual tension between Drew and Shana jumped off the page.
Thank you for sharing this - looking forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Hi, Barbara,
You didn't need ANY help, silly. I only found one word, 'short cuts,' which is a compound word, 'shortcuts.'
The rest of this chapter is great. You captured the action of the pillow fight just right, and the sexual tension between Drew and Shana jumped off the page.
Thank you for sharing this - looking forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Barbara
Enjoyed the continuation. So the romance between Anderson and Shana is slowly coming to a point of commitment. The intimate scenes between them is increasing in intensity making me wonder when they declare their love for one another?
I wonder what will happen when Anderson is in NYC?
take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Good morning, Barbara
Enjoyed the continuation. So the romance between Anderson and Shana is slowly coming to a point of commitment. The intimate scenes between them is increasing in intensity making me wonder when they declare their love for one another?
I wonder what will happen when Anderson is in NYC?
take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Thank you for the kind review If they declare their love for each other, my novel is over and I haven't solved the mystery, yet! LOL
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Barbara,
Nice piece here, displaying the gathering closeness between Anderson & Shana.
I kept seeing images of you and that man fighting over the knife kept playing over and over again.- I think you need some additional punctuation after knife.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Hi Barbara,
Nice piece here, displaying the gathering closeness between Anderson & Shana.
I kept seeing images of you and that man fighting over the knife kept playing over and over again.- I think you need some additional punctuation after knife.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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That's the sentence that's been driving me crazy. A reviewer helped with the wording but I still don't have the punctuation correct. Thank you for the review.
