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Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Lake"contemporary poetry
18 total reviews
Comment from Hayley Zemontas
Adore this poem. The language used to paint a picture in your head and the symbolism is beautiful and I really love the idea of looking into the lakes surface and seeing 'shadows of what we once were'. Sometimes I think that's the true beauty of free verse poetry, because it can take you literally anywhere and it can end up going in a totally different direction to what you first thought. Really amazing piece of poetry.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
Adore this poem. The language used to paint a picture in your head and the symbolism is beautiful and I really love the idea of looking into the lakes surface and seeing 'shadows of what we once were'. Sometimes I think that's the true beauty of free verse poetry, because it can take you literally anywhere and it can end up going in a totally different direction to what you first thought. Really amazing piece of poetry.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2018
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Thanks again for this amazing six star rating and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I'm so glad you liked it so much and got so much out of it, and making connections like this with readers makes the whole process and all the effort worth it. estory
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It definitely is lovey to receive positive feedback and makes sharing your work so much more worthwhile. Therefore I love to give feedback where it?s due as well, and it certainly was in this case x
Comment from Air Spirit
A creative, imaginative, philosophical and poetic journey into the abyss of death and the unknown... I love your metaphors of the lake as a transition and reflection of death... we see our image briefly when we are alive and look on the lake's unblemished skin, but it is a superficial and an impermanent glance -- nonetheless, reminding us how temporary our lives on earth are --- Your sentence "...Something about a resting place,
A transformation, Passages... speaks of the transition we will experience when we transcend into our next life's journey, albeit in the arms of death... and although it's depth and breadth unknown and unexplored, some of us intuitively know that it will be a deeper dimension of peace and calm --- wherein our image-being will remain constant and eternal, unlike the brief mortal face we see reflected on the waters - which can be disrupted by a deep breath of wind or the tiny miracles of life's seasons...
Your notes really very revealing and helpful to show the depth and purpose of your poem... beautifully described in revelations revealed, just below the surface of the words... exquisite!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
A creative, imaginative, philosophical and poetic journey into the abyss of death and the unknown... I love your metaphors of the lake as a transition and reflection of death... we see our image briefly when we are alive and look on the lake's unblemished skin, but it is a superficial and an impermanent glance -- nonetheless, reminding us how temporary our lives on earth are --- Your sentence "...Something about a resting place,
A transformation, Passages... speaks of the transition we will experience when we transcend into our next life's journey, albeit in the arms of death... and although it's depth and breadth unknown and unexplored, some of us intuitively know that it will be a deeper dimension of peace and calm --- wherein our image-being will remain constant and eternal, unlike the brief mortal face we see reflected on the waters - which can be disrupted by a deep breath of wind or the tiny miracles of life's seasons...
Your notes really very revealing and helpful to show the depth and purpose of your poem... beautifully described in revelations revealed, just below the surface of the words... exquisite!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thanks so much again for this exceptional rating and your wonderful perspectives on my poem. It is really satisfying to find people enjoying the work, and getting so much out of it. This was a big subject to tackle, but I enjoyed writing it and when the images come together and the musical elements of the language come together, it seems to take on a life of its own. that's when you know, when people give you feedback like this. estory
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Poem! The author's words are deep, spiritual, creative and
thought provoking. The reader pondered on the words of this poem.
Thank you for the author's notes it helped me to in vision the theme of
this poem. Thank you.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
Excellent Poem! The author's words are deep, spiritual, creative and
thought provoking. The reader pondered on the words of this poem.
Thank you for the author's notes it helped me to in vision the theme of
this poem. Thank you.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thanks so much for the five star review and your wonderful comments supporting the poem. Glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate the perspective on it estory
Comment from rama devi
Outstanding reflective (literally...pun intended) free verse, my friend...
Simply exquisite and deeply meaningful. Fluid flow. (Though I would recommend not capping every line so the enjambment is made even more fluid). The phonetics are delicious to read aloud...especially the alliteration and the F sounds. Lots of nuances, so I'll note them all, since I know you know I noticed them
NOTES
Favorite lines:
The more we look into the lake,
The more we see ourselves,
Speechless, standing still
Underneath the surface;
Shadows of what we were
In the light of the sky.
*I think you need a cap on Elysian:
Depicting elysian landscapes.
Love this too:
If we listen to the lake,
It will whisper its secrets
In a language we do not understand,
Stillness of a our dreams - interesting closing line!~
A six. Bravo
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
Outstanding reflective (literally...pun intended) free verse, my friend...
Simply exquisite and deeply meaningful. Fluid flow. (Though I would recommend not capping every line so the enjambment is made even more fluid). The phonetics are delicious to read aloud...especially the alliteration and the F sounds. Lots of nuances, so I'll note them all, since I know you know I noticed them
NOTES
Favorite lines:
The more we look into the lake,
The more we see ourselves,
Speechless, standing still
Underneath the surface;
Shadows of what we were
In the light of the sky.
*I think you need a cap on Elysian:
Depicting elysian landscapes.
Love this too:
If we listen to the lake,
It will whisper its secrets
In a language we do not understand,
Stillness of a our dreams - interesting closing line!~
A six. Bravo
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 08-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thanks again for your amazing review of this piece, I am glad that you are continuing to enjoy my poetry, and find it so thought provoking. I like to get people thinking, and feeling. I appreciate all the wonderful comments estory
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:-))
Comment from Possummagic
This is an exquisite piece of work. I read it twice to get a grip on it and loved your choice of words and phrases. I also loved the beautiful way it was crafted and simply flowed across the page. Quite beautiful.PM
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
This is an exquisite piece of work. I read it twice to get a grip on it and loved your choice of words and phrases. I also loved the beautiful way it was crafted and simply flowed across the page. Quite beautiful.PM
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thanks so much for the exceptional rating and I am so glad you thought it so good you had to read it twice. It is a big subject, a deep subject, and it is satisfying to find that I chose the right images and the right musical elements to make this work. I appreciate all the wonderful comments and your unique perspective on it estory
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You?re very welcome.PM
Comment from Ulla
Hi estory. First I would like to say that this is a beautifully written free verse poem reflection on the transition from like to the eternal life. I rally like how you use the senses to show how this can be. It reads like a painting. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
Hi estory. First I would like to say that this is a beautifully written free verse poem reflection on the transition from like to the eternal life. I rally like how you use the senses to show how this can be. It reads like a painting. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comments supporting this piece and your excellent rating of it. I am glad you found it so moving and that the images worked so well. Spent quite a bit of time trying to come up with the right images for this estory
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written meaningful deep poem. We know life and nature around us with movement and images that come and go. After life we will be like a lake looking out to this life without taking part in the activities of this life.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
A very well-written meaningful deep poem. We know life and nature around us with movement and images that come and go. After life we will be like a lake looking out to this life without taking part in the activities of this life.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all your wonderful comments supporting the poem, as well as your unique perspective of it. I know I came up with the right images when so many people can make so many different allusions and deductions from them. Thanks again, estory
Comment from Senyai
I only wish I had a sixth star to give you, Estory, for this most beautiful, introspective work. Your sections describing each aspect of the lake was such an important conveyance of the "moods" of the lake...ways to experience in depth the layers of life until death... the different transitions made from childhood, through death and beyond...
Excellent!
Lynn
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
I only wish I had a sixth star to give you, Estory, for this most beautiful, introspective work. Your sections describing each aspect of the lake was such an important conveyance of the "moods" of the lake...ways to experience in depth the layers of life until death... the different transitions made from childhood, through death and beyond...
Excellent!
Lynn
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I am so glad you enjoyed it and that you found all the experiences in it; this is a big subject, and hopefully the images opened up this theme for many people like you..i appreciate all the support and the encouraging comments estory
Comment from Robbie Yates
I love how you structured this poem, and how you looked at the lake from so many perspectives and through so many senses. It's a truly beautiful piece, filled with lovely vocabulary. Great poem.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
I love how you structured this poem, and how you looked at the lake from so many perspectives and through so many senses. It's a truly beautiful piece, filled with lovely vocabulary. Great poem.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all the encouraging comments supporting this piece. I am glad you enjoyed it and got so much out of reading it. I think those are the most satisfying ones to write. estory
Comment from meeshu
wow this is a deeply spiritual and transcendent write, easy. I believe you have been on a frozen lake that is thawing in very early spring. those are sounds you cannot hear anywhere else.............meeshu
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
wow this is a deeply spiritual and transcendent write, easy. I believe you have been on a frozen lake that is thawing in very early spring. those are sounds you cannot hear anywhere else.............meeshu
Comment Written 07-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting this piece, as well as your unique perspective on it. I think the most successful poems become many different things to many different people, and it is satisfying to find this happening with this poem estory