Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 79 "Chapter Vierundzwanzig Part zwei"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

27 total reviews 
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading this chapter of your story. Coming into the story cold, I was able to follow along pretty well. I like the nuances and gestures you've included for your characters. Dialogue is realistic and flows well. Much luck in the contest. Marilyn

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
    Thank you for the kind review and the well wishes.
Comment from Writingfundimension
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi, Barbara

I like the nice twist you've introduced with Shana wanting to confront her tormentor personally. It seems like a very bad idea to me, but I can't imagine anyone is going to change her mind. I have to give her credit for standing and taking charge. Well done as usual.

:) Bev

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from padumachitta
Excellent
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hello There
It is nice to read your stories again.
I always enjoy your well rounded characters.
I can find no SPAG, but that is because you are so careful:-)
I look forward to reading more of this..

 Comment Written 31-May-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
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barbara:

I'm getting the gist of this now, I think, but I still plan to go back and
read it from the beginning so I don't miss anything - just forgive me
for not writing reviews for all of it so I can get caught up faster. As
always, your writing is superb.
jan

 Comment Written 30-May-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
    I am happy you're reading them. If you go back and read and something isn't working please let me know, otherwise I'm happy.
Comment from Sasha
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I found this chapter quite unnerving. I don't like the idea of Shana meeting with the Russians. I don't trust them and think it is a bad idea. She is a headstrong woman and I doubt anyone can talk her out of it.

 Comment Written 30-May-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
    We'll see. I have a feeling things are about to happen.
Comment from Miles Connolly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

clever, i like the anger and unintentional suspense. There's love, romance, anger, wrath, sadness, apologizes! such awesome suspense! from the exposition to the climax to the end, suspense builds up and all we want to know is what's next! great job.

 Comment Written 30-May-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Excellent
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Firstly, as always Barbara, I love your writing. It flows and glides as smoothly as honey. I picked out a few lines which made me smile:"He is. You're familiar with Shakespeare?" "A little. Required reading in high school. I guess things haven't changed much, have they?" "The classics will always be classics." A lot of people today argue against the works of Shakespeare as being necessary for modern schools, and when I was seventeen, doing my A levels on Othello and Merchant of Venice I would have agreed. Then I grew up and read Twelfth Night and what a realisation of what I had missed! Such an important part of education in English and I think always will be. I like to think so. Your work is always a joy to read. I love catching up on what you have produced. Great stuff Barabra and well done as ever love and regards Meia xx

 Comment Written 30-May-2018


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2018
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
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Great writing.
This is hard for me ...jumping in mid way
I like your character Shana ..she's grave and caring. I like the full circle of this ..lunch ready...
First bite of lunch
God bless

 Comment Written 29-May-2018


reply by the author on 29-May-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from ciliverde
Excellent
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Poor Shana, I would hate to feel responsible for other people being in danger too. I wonder if it would help for her to talk to him now? The lawyers told him already that she doesn't want the painting.
Well done on this chapter. The details and dialogue flow nicely.
Carol

 Comment Written 28-May-2018


reply by the author on 28-May-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from apky
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I like how you end the chapter with Shana finally eating. It tells the reader about how anxious she had been all this while around the table, without spelling out the words. Excellent!

"I've decided I'll (delete-to) go to Mr. Kuznetsov and tell him I'm not interested in pursuing the painting any longer."

Michael studied his plate but kept an eye on his son. ~ This is not believable, Barbara. Perhaps exchange "but" with "and", or re-write the sentence.

 Comment Written 28-May-2018


reply by the author on 28-May-2018
    I have made the changes. I didn't like the second sentence but couldn't figure out what to do with it, because I wanted it there for the next post. Thank you for the help.