Free Verse Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Bells"A collection of free verse poems
20 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
Outstanding use of a metaphor, Tony, that gives the reader much to ponder...and enjoy. The last lines alliteration is wonderful, and I especially liked the third verse and your wise use of told/tolled. As always, you're a delight to read, Tony.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Outstanding use of a metaphor, Tony, that gives the reader much to ponder...and enjoy. The last lines alliteration is wonderful, and I especially liked the third verse and your wise use of told/tolled. As always, you're a delight to read, Tony.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 30-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Great to hear from you, Karyn, and thank you so much for this lovely review and for the six stars. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Very powerful opening line Tony, strikes a note with the reader straight away. Wonderful W alliteration with -widowed word wrung - out if grief. A dramatic and emotion free verse, beautifully written.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Very powerful opening line Tony, strikes a note with the reader straight away. Wonderful W alliteration with -widowed word wrung - out if grief. A dramatic and emotion free verse, beautifully written.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 29-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thank you, Valda. I appreciate your affirming remarks. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Artasylum
Hey tfawcus,
As you intimate every word is a precious gem so pick well and your poem will win. I completely agree one word can make or break a poem. Great job... Yours, diana...
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Hey tfawcus,
As you intimate every word is a precious gem so pick well and your poem will win. I completely agree one word can make or break a poem. Great job... Yours, diana...
Comment Written 28-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thank you, Diana. I appreciate your affirming remarks. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from johnwilson
As usual, publish-worthy. I love how you reach the last two stanzas, which are so powerful. I can feel the" widowed word wrung out in grief, then spread across the world." And the despair gets me around these lines "
their ears still ring
with words and deeds
that will be told, and tolled
in mournful carillon,
I wish these words would sink into humans minds somehow. However, here we are, on a beautiful spring day. So I say, thank you for honoring us at FS with your poetic words of, grief, joy, madness, hell, humor, or otherwise. I am grateful!!
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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As usual, publish-worthy. I love how you reach the last two stanzas, which are so powerful. I can feel the" widowed word wrung out in grief, then spread across the world." And the despair gets me around these lines "
their ears still ring
with words and deeds
that will be told, and tolled
in mournful carillon,
I wish these words would sink into humans minds somehow. However, here we are, on a beautiful spring day. So I say, thank you for honoring us at FS with your poetic words of, grief, joy, madness, hell, humor, or otherwise. I am grateful!!
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Thank you, Clem. I appreciate your affirming remarks. When set against the beauty and freshness of a Spring day, some of mankind's actions seem that much more reprehensible. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from rama devi
Eloquent and powerful free verse, my friend, with fluid flow and fine phonetics in phrases and cadences sculpted with finesse..
Favorite lines:
each chime a shuddering hour
that fades;
hours of iron,
once strong and brave,
on warhorse hooves;
*optional suggestion:
their muffled thud through damp, loam woods,(--)
a sound that's lost in russet ooze
as soldiers seek oblivion.
*
At length, a few return
on metalled roads,(;)
metalled roads? Not sure what that means?
POWERFUL PUN (told and tolled):
their ears still ring
with words and deeds
that will be told, and tolled
in mournful carillon, (GREAT RHYME TOO)
Outstanding closing aha as well as alliteration:
each widowed word wrung out in grief,
then spread across the world.
Wish I had a six. Bravo. Tight and polished.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Eloquent and powerful free verse, my friend, with fluid flow and fine phonetics in phrases and cadences sculpted with finesse..
Favorite lines:
each chime a shuddering hour
that fades;
hours of iron,
once strong and brave,
on warhorse hooves;
*optional suggestion:
their muffled thud through damp, loam woods,(--)
a sound that's lost in russet ooze
as soldiers seek oblivion.
*
At length, a few return
on metalled roads,(;)
metalled roads? Not sure what that means?
POWERFUL PUN (told and tolled):
their ears still ring
with words and deeds
that will be told, and tolled
in mournful carillon, (GREAT RHYME TOO)
Outstanding closing aha as well as alliteration:
each widowed word wrung out in grief,
then spread across the world.
Wish I had a six. Bravo. Tight and polished.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 30-May-2018
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Very many thanks for your affirmation, RD, and for your suggestions. Metalled roads (British English) are paved roads.
I appreciate your suggestion of six-worthiness!
Best wishes, as always,
Tony
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:-)))) Thanks for teaching me a new word.
Best Smiles, rd
Comment from pearlecat
Another good one Tony! I don't know how you do it. You put out one great poem after another :)
I love the sound of bells. Though these are clearly more haunting and sad. The last two lines sum it up so beautifully.
Pearl
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Another good one Tony! I don't know how you do it. You put out one great poem after another :)
I love the sound of bells. Though these are clearly more haunting and sad. The last two lines sum it up so beautifully.
Pearl
Comment Written 27-May-2018
reply by the author on 27-May-2018
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Very many thanks for this lovely review, Pearl. Much appreciated, as always. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
This is a splendid free verse poem
with a unique perspective from the forged iron hooves
of the war horse. Interesting use of metallurgy imagery
from the bells to the shoes.
Love the "widowed words" pairing
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Hello Tony,
This is a splendid free verse poem
with a unique perspective from the forged iron hooves
of the war horse. Interesting use of metallurgy imagery
from the bells to the shoes.
Love the "widowed words" pairing
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Many thanks, Robert. I appreciate your kind words and six stars. I wondered if I might have overdone the metaphor, so I?m glad to hear that it worked OK for you. We?re coming across to New York in a couple of weeks to catch up with Anna and spend a bit of time with Teagan. Can?t say I?m looking forward to the flight but it?ll be good to see them.
Comment from ciliverde
I wonder if you are getting a lot of comments about wishing we had a six to give you? This is a fantastic poem, Tony, written with rich and unusual imagery - strike words like bells, each chime a shuddering hour, words and deeds
that will be told, and tolled in mournful carillon, each widowed word wrung out in grief...
Well here I am practically writing out your entire poem, as I put down each line I like the best.
You're always inspiring,
Carol
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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I wonder if you are getting a lot of comments about wishing we had a six to give you? This is a fantastic poem, Tony, written with rich and unusual imagery - strike words like bells, each chime a shuddering hour, words and deeds
that will be told, and tolled in mournful carillon, each widowed word wrung out in grief...
Well here I am practically writing out your entire poem, as I put down each line I like the best.
You're always inspiring,
Carol
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Very many thanks, Carol. So glad you enjoyed it. This one arose from fragments of a dream - unusual for me. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Gloria ....
This is something really special, Tony. Strike words like bells is a powerful statement and one we should take heed of. Words do ring out like carillons and to waste them is to waste life in warhorse hooves.
A metaphor that goes far beyond just a metaphor. It's a ring of warning and truth.
Very excellent indeed.
Gloria
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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This is something really special, Tony. Strike words like bells is a powerful statement and one we should take heed of. Words do ring out like carillons and to waste them is to waste life in warhorse hooves.
A metaphor that goes far beyond just a metaphor. It's a ring of warning and truth.
Very excellent indeed.
Gloria
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Very many thanks, Gloria. So glad you enjoyed it. This one arose from fragments of a dream - unusual for me. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from lyenochka
Wow. Virtual six, Tony! Such striking (sorry for the pun) imagery throughout. Without ever saying what the bells are tolling, you give us hints about the death knoll of soldiers. At least, that's I got when reading. Beautiful sounds in this one. My favorite lines are the last two.
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Wow. Virtual six, Tony! Such striking (sorry for the pun) imagery throughout. Without ever saying what the bells are tolling, you give us hints about the death knoll of soldiers. At least, that's I got when reading. Beautiful sounds in this one. My favorite lines are the last two.
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Thanks, Helen. This one arose from the remnants of a dream. Unusual for me. Glad you enjoyed it. Best wishes, Tony.
