Shoes
A homeless man and his shoes31 total reviews
Comment from nancyjam
A story both sad and uplifting. It is not always easy to see past the dirt and grime,
but blessed are those who do.
Beautiful story written with strong rhyme and meter
Powerful images to convey the situation.
Nancy
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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A story both sad and uplifting. It is not always easy to see past the dirt and grime,
but blessed are those who do.
Beautiful story written with strong rhyme and meter
Powerful images to convey the situation.
Nancy
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thank you, Nancy for your thoughtful review and excellent rating
Comment from Hitcher
I is a sad reality that many view the homeless as dirty and undesirable and will even cross the street to avoid them. My parents took in a 16 year old boy who was living in a tent in the woods because his parents had terrorized him into running away. He lived with us for two years, got himself a good job, found a partner and had two children with her. A great, well written, thought provoking poem friend>
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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I is a sad reality that many view the homeless as dirty and undesirable and will even cross the street to avoid them. My parents took in a 16 year old boy who was living in a tent in the woods because his parents had terrorized him into running away. He lived with us for two years, got himself a good job, found a partner and had two children with her. A great, well written, thought provoking poem friend>
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Hey, Hitcher. Nice to meet you. Good for you for taking that boy in. Thank you for your lovely review and excellent rating
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Nice to meet you too friend, I'm just returning to site after a five month break( work and family)It was my parents who took him in, they also fostered many children, my mother has a heart of gold : )
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Sounds like she does. I did some of it before I met my husband. But, he never hesitated to join me in helping others. A homeless acquaintance of his became homeless both to both of them being laid off. My husband was already working part time for a courier service. He went to full time. But this other guy had no second job and his car had quit. So my husband and I decided to take him in and buy him a car so he could work at the courier service. He paid us back for the car and became good friends with my husband. He also watched over our house in California when we moved to Indiana and were selling the California. Homeless people who are not addicts or alcoholics are eager to repay people who helped them
Comment from ameen786
A wonderful message in this beautiful story told in excellent rhymes with superb flow; grown-ups can always learn from little kids; good on the mother's part as well; were you the mother? Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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A wonderful message in this beautiful story told in excellent rhymes with superb flow; grown-ups can always learn from little kids; good on the mother's part as well; were you the mother? Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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No, it was imaginary. I have helped many homeless before I got married and with my husband. People tell me my mind is like a child?s artistically. Maybe it carries over into seeing some as redeemable and the rest just need to be fed or given some clothing or shoes. Thank you for your thoughtful review and excellent rating
Comment from lyenochka
A moving story poem. I agree that no matter who the other human is and whatever their current condition, we shouldn't judge them and help if we can. Bless you for how you ministered to the homeless! What a great story about the chess expert!!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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A moving story poem. I agree that no matter who the other human is and whatever their current condition, we shouldn't judge them and help if we can. Bless you for how you ministered to the homeless! What a great story about the chess expert!!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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That chess expert is my best friend now and has been for 45 years since then. That does not mean much since we hardly talk. But, he is just there in case I really need his help emotionally or whatever. My best friend after my husband and some sisters. I have always been a loner. My mind has always been too busy. Thank you for your lovely review and excellent rating
Comment from dragonpoet
These aabbccdd octets tell us the sad story of how the reach neglect the poor. It also shows how much smarter and more compassionate children are than some adults. Simple thank yous could have been said for the good deeds the poor man
did for the thankless women. She more of a 'dirty old' person than he as according to her words and deeds.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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These aabbccdd octets tell us the sad story of how the reach neglect the poor. It also shows how much smarter and more compassionate children are than some adults. Simple thank yous could have been said for the good deeds the poor man
did for the thankless women. She more of a 'dirty old' person than he as according to her words and deeds.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Agreed, Joan. Thank you for your thoughtful review and five star rating
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You're welcome, Pam
Joan
Comment from mermaids
I commend you for helping the homeless and your poem is excellent. You tell a tale that is all too common, how often we refuse to acknowledge these human beings. I often think" there by the grace of God, go I". Any of us can become homeless. You have a smooth wonderful rhyming of words that adds to the strength of your poem.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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I commend you for helping the homeless and your poem is excellent. You tell a tale that is all too common, how often we refuse to acknowledge these human beings. I often think" there by the grace of God, go I". Any of us can become homeless. You have a smooth wonderful rhyming of words that adds to the strength of your poem.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thank you, mermaids for your kind words, thoughtful review and excellent rating
Comment from Violet WolfChild
I love this! It breaks my heart knowing how cruel and thoughtless people can be. I like how you show the different sides. A woman to caught up in her own life and snap judgments to even offer a thank you for a stranger's kindness, and the beauty of a child who simply sees a man in need of new shoes. Great job.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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I love this! It breaks my heart knowing how cruel and thoughtless people can be. I like how you show the different sides. A woman to caught up in her own life and snap judgments to even offer a thank you for a stranger's kindness, and the beauty of a child who simply sees a man in need of new shoes. Great job.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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This is the wonderful thing about children. The mother deserves some credit as well Most parents would just grab the child and tell her to steer clear of people looking like him When I helped the homeless, I did not give them money. Too many would just spend it on booze or drugs. I bought them meals and watched them eat. The homeless people I let into my house were at least acquaintances and there were always other men around in the house, There was a problem with one of them breaking a bunch of things in the kitchen. The others kicked him out. Kind of sad but he was crazy. A few years later, I heard that he had committed suicide. He was a good chess player. Someone organized a memorial tournament in his name a couple of years later. He showed up to play in it! The laugh was on everyone else. Thank you for your lovely rating and excellent rating
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You are most welcome. And, I agree with you the mother definitely deserves credit.
Comment from meeshu
very good write here, Pam. an important message, well told and well versed. looks like you're getting some reviews again, it seems like nobody is reading anything anymore..........meeshu
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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very good write here, Pam. an important message, well told and well versed. looks like you're getting some reviews again, it seems like nobody is reading anything anymore..........meeshu
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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yeah. Weird, meeshu. I am getting them now, but due to a bug on faanstory, I can't see them. At least not on my smart phone. I am on my laptop now which hurts because it is the only way i can read and respond to reviews and replies. Every time I press the portfolio button, the reviews button, or the replies button and for certain messages I try to respond to, i get the Amazon screen to buy that book about the upside down frown. Really irritating. Tom will not admit that they have a problem At least I can still review on my cell phone. If it is one of my 3 recent posts, I can look at reviews for them, but only the first page. Nextpage causes that book in Amazon to take over the screen. Thank you for your thoughtful review and five star rating. I also got the same review eight times. Still in my profile
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duplicate reviews, incoherent hate reviews from users I don't recognize and a scolding. that's been the last 24 hrs. for me.....meeshu
Comment from Sis Cat
What an amazing story told in verse. I love your comparative descriptions of the homeless man and girl. They are vivid, animated. Your poem reads like a moral or fable. It has a lesson on tolerance:
"You'd better not touch me, you filthy old man",
She said with a venom, while slapping his hand.
I read so much rhymed poetry on FanStory that I focus on the poem's story. You wrote a compelling one I can imagine as we have a lot of homeless on the streets of San Francisco and beyond. The poem has a happy ending as the girl convinces the mother to buy the man new shoes.
In terms of your poem's puctuation, you used commas in the wrong places, slowing down your poem and muddling its clarity. Well-placed commas only when needed enhance your poem:
She hardly saw him as he walked by the store,
The use of "suddenly" is so cliche that it is best to drop it:
Then something caught on her heel.
Direct sentences and fewer auxiliary words smooths out and tightens your poem.
Nevertheless, your heart and your creativity are in the right place with this poem. Thank you for sharing and for caring.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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What an amazing story told in verse. I love your comparative descriptions of the homeless man and girl. They are vivid, animated. Your poem reads like a moral or fable. It has a lesson on tolerance:
"You'd better not touch me, you filthy old man",
She said with a venom, while slapping his hand.
I read so much rhymed poetry on FanStory that I focus on the poem's story. You wrote a compelling one I can imagine as we have a lot of homeless on the streets of San Francisco and beyond. The poem has a happy ending as the girl convinces the mother to buy the man new shoes.
In terms of your poem's puctuation, you used commas in the wrong places, slowing down your poem and muddling its clarity. Well-placed commas only when needed enhance your poem:
She hardly saw him as he walked by the store,
The use of "suddenly" is so cliche that it is best to drop it:
Then something caught on her heel.
Direct sentences and fewer auxiliary words smooths out and tightens your poem.
Nevertheless, your heart and your creativity are in the right place with this poem. Thank you for sharing and for caring.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thank you, Sis Cat for your lovely review and excellent rating. I can;t use a one syllable word like then in place of suddenly. Every line has the same number of syllables and the same order of syllables as every other line. I can try to find a different three syllables. Thank you for your suggestions, Nice to meet you. Take care
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Thank you for your suggestion on suddenly. I changed the line to
?Abrubtly, there's
something that's caught on her heel.?
Thanks again. I think that was an improvement.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Air Spirit
You speak about a very big problem and painful reality in our world. I have to be honest, that I have very ambivalent feelings about it. There's a big part of me wherein my heart really does go out to them.. and I want to help them in any way that I can. I am usually led by my intuition on whether or not to give money to someone who's homeless. Some people scold me and say 'oh he's probably just going to go out and get drunk'. I always respond the same, 'how do you know for sure?' The answer is no one knows what they're going to do with that money. But then that's really none of my business.
If I give a gift from the heart I have no right to attach a price tag of expectation to it. Soo the way I look at it, is that I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. I take the side of compassion, love and decide to share the countless blessings I have in my life. Thank God for Angels here on Earth like you that help others who are in trouble or who are less fortunate. My particular passion and compassion is for animals.. because they are totally dependent upon us and at our mercy.. God is watching you and smiling.. thank you for your tender and compelling share.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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You speak about a very big problem and painful reality in our world. I have to be honest, that I have very ambivalent feelings about it. There's a big part of me wherein my heart really does go out to them.. and I want to help them in any way that I can. I am usually led by my intuition on whether or not to give money to someone who's homeless. Some people scold me and say 'oh he's probably just going to go out and get drunk'. I always respond the same, 'how do you know for sure?' The answer is no one knows what they're going to do with that money. But then that's really none of my business.
If I give a gift from the heart I have no right to attach a price tag of expectation to it. Soo the way I look at it, is that I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. I take the side of compassion, love and decide to share the countless blessings I have in my life. Thank God for Angels here on Earth like you that help others who are in trouble or who are less fortunate. My particular passion and compassion is for animals.. because they are totally dependent upon us and at our mercy.. God is watching you and smiling.. thank you for your tender and compelling share.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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They were mostly other chess players and people they know. Out of every 10, 8 did well in life after being homeless. But none were addicts or alcoholics. For the homeless on the streets that were strangers to me, I would buy them food at a restaurant so they could not use the money for booze. I would not give them straight money. But, you are a sweet dear, yourself. Thank you for your thoughtful review and five star rating
