Tomorrow Never Comes
Sweet Mary (I would call her that.) Homeless, I fell in love61 total reviews
Comment from Old Soldier
Nice, warm and sweet. Speaks of how our busy lives can cause us to miss out. A suggestion, instead of " She always feels... try She always looks or appears. You have never met her or spoken how can you know her feelings? Not meaning to be nasty, but this is really nice and its about curiosity and your missed opportunity. The line, No one's seen her since, would support your last line better if read "I haven't seen her since." Still I like it and can feel the warmth you wrote it with.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2018
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Nice, warm and sweet. Speaks of how our busy lives can cause us to miss out. A suggestion, instead of " She always feels... try She always looks or appears. You have never met her or spoken how can you know her feelings? Not meaning to be nasty, but this is really nice and its about curiosity and your missed opportunity. The line, No one's seen her since, would support your last line better if read "I haven't seen her since." Still I like it and can feel the warmth you wrote it with.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2018
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Hey how fun that you showed back up... and for the perfect sentence... I changed it and it is perfect. Good to see you Old Soldier (wink!)
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Give me a read.
Comment from Alex Swan
C'mon, Artasylum . . .
Like I'm supposed to judge this piece in any way, shape or form? It's perfect just the way it is. Pure, like the best of spring waters.
I'm pretty sure you're the Gem, silly woman!
Well done. Please post more.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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C'mon, Artasylum . . .
Like I'm supposed to judge this piece in any way, shape or form? It's perfect just the way it is. Pure, like the best of spring waters.
I'm pretty sure you're the Gem, silly woman!
Well done. Please post more.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Hey Alex... your review is so fresh and thoughtful... I can't say enough thank your... i'm blessed
Comment from Blue Hendrix
Always in a rush and never having the time to stop and smell the roses. Well that's our society today. What a sad little poem. But it's also a very well written lil poem with a great subject.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Always in a rush and never having the time to stop and smell the roses. Well that's our society today. What a sad little poem. But it's also a very well written lil poem with a great subject.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Thanks Blue Hendriz. for your wonderful review. I'm grateful humbled and blessed... yours, di
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Art. Isn't it a bitch when we want so much to contribute to someone or something and yet never seem to take the time to do so. This write is a truly great one and I'm sure many will relate. Well done. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Hi Art. Isn't it a bitch when we want so much to contribute to someone or something and yet never seem to take the time to do so. This write is a truly great one and I'm sure many will relate. Well done. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 16-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Hey kiwi girl... I get very upset myself when I have an opportunity and don't reach out for it. thanks, di
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is such a sad story because so very often it is true. Those of us that are kind enough to think of the homeless are often too busy (or think we are) to stop and make a difference. Very well written and heart-breaking poem, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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This is such a sad story because so very often it is true. Those of us that are kind enough to think of the homeless are often too busy (or think we are) to stop and make a difference. Very well written and heart-breaking poem, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 16-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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I could have kicked my self for being negligent... could have found a way to make the time... things have changed. yours, di
Comment from Cheryl Gilmore
Oh my gosh! This is such a powerful poem. It is so true, that tomorrow never comes and that we should do as our gut tells us when it tells us. Thanks for posting this. It has really made me think. God bless you in all you do.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Oh my gosh! This is such a powerful poem. It is so true, that tomorrow never comes and that we should do as our gut tells us when it tells us. Thanks for posting this. It has really made me think. God bless you in all you do.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Thanks so much Cheryl... you humble me and your words make me happy. love, di
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking story. I appreciated your insights and heartfelt conclusion. Supergold's artwork is a terrific reinforcement and your note is an excellent reminder. Sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking story. I appreciated your insights and heartfelt conclusion. Supergold's artwork is a terrific reinforcement and your note is an excellent reminder. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 15-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Sighs Joan... loving Sighs... thanks for the stellar review. di
Comment from Oatmeal
Artasylum,
I think that this poem is on the sad side. Thoughts are expressed and described well.
The arrangement is fine, smoothly readable and understandable. Created impressions through the descriptions are vivid, forceful and making the reader think about it.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. It was very clean.
The words you chose worked well.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Artasylum,
I think that this poem is on the sad side. Thoughts are expressed and described well.
The arrangement is fine, smoothly readable and understandable. Created impressions through the descriptions are vivid, forceful and making the reader think about it.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. It was very clean.
The words you chose worked well.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 15-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Hey Oatmeal ... thanks for the lovely review and stellar review. yours, dian
Comment from Zue65
How sad and how futile is the promise of tomorrow. Your poem echoed that sentiment effectively through the visual images created by the author in each stanza. Thanks for the excellent write. God bless.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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How sad and how futile is the promise of tomorrow. Your poem echoed that sentiment effectively through the visual images created by the author in each stanza. Thanks for the excellent write. God bless.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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as always nasals it is nice when you stop by thanks for the thoughts and the stellar review
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a heart warming and sad poem all in one. I like how your sequence was developed and the flow of the plot/theme was good too. Well done on this.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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This is a heart warming and sad poem all in one. I like how your sequence was developed and the flow of the plot/theme was good too. Well done on this.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2018
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Thanks sugarry. as always i appreciate your review... thanks again, di
