Little Jim on a Treasure Hunt
Panning for Gold14 total reviews
Comment from Henry King
This is a story about a little boy who discovered a source of gold, below the floor of the saloon. He gave his treasure away.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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This is a story about a little boy who discovered a source of gold, below the floor of the saloon. He gave his treasure away.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
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Thanks for the great review. I appreciate it!
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You are welcome
Comment from Cheryl Baker
A thoroughly good well-written story. Seems it would be a good yarn for children, although equally enjoyed by adults. I enjoy your writing style. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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A thoroughly good well-written story. Seems it would be a good yarn for children, although equally enjoyed by adults. I enjoy your writing style. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
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Thank you so much Cheryl. I really appreciate your comments and stars!
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You're welcome.
Comment from karenina
Well slap my leg and call me late for supper....I was convinced upon reading the opening lines I wasn't going to warm up to this story....not my cuppa tea as they say....but Jimmy....well, can't help but care about him and his moral dilemma..
Dang you writer, you caught me!
Karenina
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2018
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Well slap my leg and call me late for supper....I was convinced upon reading the opening lines I wasn't going to warm up to this story....not my cuppa tea as they say....but Jimmy....well, can't help but care about him and his moral dilemma..
Dang you writer, you caught me!
Karenina
Comment Written 29-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2018
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Haha. Thanks so much. What a fun review you wrote for Little Jim. I really appreciate your cute comments. Happy Trails!
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Haha. Thanks so much. What a fun review you wrote for Little Jim. I really appreciate your cute comments. Happy Trails!
Comment from nartoonla
A good and amusing country western piece of which I enjoyed and as usual had to read... Good fun and imagination. But to make sure I got it right were the nuggets made of...
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2018
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A good and amusing country western piece of which I enjoyed and as usual had to read... Good fun and imagination. But to make sure I got it right were the nuggets made of...
Comment Written 29-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2018
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Hello. Thanks for the review. Yes, the treasure hunt was for gold. I appreciate your taking the time to review.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Pretty good story and nice for Jim to learn that not all adults have a clear moral compass... lol
"Hi Ma, I need to light my candle". - punctuation should probably come inside the speech marks here.
kept busy til closing time every night - in this instance it should probably be 'til or till.
Can I have some of what your fixin over there - you're.
slipped through the floor boards - floorboards can be a single word here.
The soft feeling of leather met his hand as he patted around - that must have been some mammoth crack between the boards...
Hello, Little Jim, its nice to see you today - it's.
Mrs. Benton, Little Jim began, I'm wonderin if you - Little Jim began shouldn't be inside the speech marks. You need to close them and re-open them after the three words again.
Also, when you drop the 'g' off 'ing' words, it would probably be better to use an apostrophe for the contraction. (you do this a lot)
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2018
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Hi there,
Pretty good story and nice for Jim to learn that not all adults have a clear moral compass... lol
"Hi Ma, I need to light my candle". - punctuation should probably come inside the speech marks here.
kept busy til closing time every night - in this instance it should probably be 'til or till.
Can I have some of what your fixin over there - you're.
slipped through the floor boards - floorboards can be a single word here.
The soft feeling of leather met his hand as he patted around - that must have been some mammoth crack between the boards...
Hello, Little Jim, its nice to see you today - it's.
Mrs. Benton, Little Jim began, I'm wonderin if you - Little Jim began shouldn't be inside the speech marks. You need to close them and re-open them after the three words again.
Also, when you drop the 'g' off 'ing' words, it would probably be better to use an apostrophe for the contraction. (you do this a lot)
Comment Written 29-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the review and comments. I?ve edited it and looked it over. I appreciate your taking the time to review it.
Comment from Mabaker
Great start to what promises to be very enjoyable. It's also believable and back in the day something like this possibly did happen. I like little Jim. He's not so smart that he comes across as fake, rather he is a plucky kid with an eye for looking after himself. Sincerely Anne
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Great start to what promises to be very enjoyable. It's also believable and back in the day something like this possibly did happen. I like little Jim. He's not so smart that he comes across as fake, rather he is a plucky kid with an eye for looking after himself. Sincerely Anne
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for your great comments and encouragement.
Comment from Heather Knight
What a lovely story you have written for this contest! I like the way your characters come to life, especially Little Jim. He's quite adventurous and clever for a six-year- old.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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What a lovely story you have written for this contest! I like the way your characters come to life, especially Little Jim. He's quite adventurous and clever for a six-year- old.
Good luck.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much, I appreciate your taking the time to review it.
Comment from cupa tea
That was truly a very well written story! I totally enjoyed reading it. Your characters felt real even without body language added to the script. I think that'd be the only thing you could add to make the story feel even more real.
It had a nice flow to it. You wrote it enabling the reader to care about the boys and hope they find enough gold to move on. Good luck in the Contest!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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That was truly a very well written story! I totally enjoyed reading it. Your characters felt real even without body language added to the script. I think that'd be the only thing you could add to make the story feel even more real.
It had a nice flow to it. You wrote it enabling the reader to care about the boys and hope they find enough gold to move on. Good luck in the Contest!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much! There is an1500 word limit, so I really had to cut some things at the end. Those rascals were easy to write about. Thanks again for the lovely review.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 'Treasure Hunt' writing prompt.
Well told and a good story about the boys hunting the treasures lost by the men drinking in the Saloon above. It could really happen that way.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 'Treasure Hunt' writing prompt.
Well told and a good story about the boys hunting the treasures lost by the men drinking in the Saloon above. It could really happen that way.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 27-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
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Thanks for your great review. I appreciate it!
Comment from Swampfox1
This is a very well written story with a very good plot. One of the best I have read on here, thus far. I like how Little Jim returns the pouch cause he is feeling so bad about it. Great job. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
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This is a very well written story with a very good plot. One of the best I have read on here, thus far. I like how Little Jim returns the pouch cause he is feeling so bad about it. Great job. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the great review and stars!! Much appreciated!
