A Potpourri of Poetic Curiosities
Viewing comments for Chapter 85 "Antichthon"A collection of poems showcasing unusual words
14 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem tells us how this world should be. Acceptance and compassion is needed here. The only thing that would make this planet perfect for me is weather that stays between 50 and 80 degrees fahrenheit.
Congrats on coming in second in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
  |
This poem tells us how this world should be. Acceptance and compassion is needed here. The only thing that would make this planet perfect for me is weather that stays between 50 and 80 degrees fahrenheit.
Congrats on coming in second in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 05-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2018
-
Haha, yes - I could handle that too. But then, would we complain there's no variety? Maybe not. Thanks for the kind words, Joan. Cheers - Craig
-
There would be rain and clouds and wind. We might even see more birds.
You're welcome.
Joan
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Wouldn't that be great if there was such a place, where people all care for one another, their planet, and they all get along. Too bad Earth wasn't like that. Man has ruined this planet. Hopefully it is not beyond repair.
Your say it all so well in your poem, Craig. "The good of all is their religion's pitch" ... luv this line!! That should be the religion here on Earth. Your Acrostic poem really showcases the word Antichthon. I've never heard of it before. After reading your poem, I love the image that you've conjured for your reader.
Very well done. Good luck in the contest. ~~ Hugs, Connie
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
|
Wouldn't that be great if there was such a place, where people all care for one another, their planet, and they all get along. Too bad Earth wasn't like that. Man has ruined this planet. Hopefully it is not beyond repair.
Your say it all so well in your poem, Craig. "The good of all is their religion's pitch" ... luv this line!! That should be the religion here on Earth. Your Acrostic poem really showcases the word Antichthon. I've never heard of it before. After reading your poem, I love the image that you've conjured for your reader.
Very well done. Good luck in the contest. ~~ Hugs, Connie
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
-
Thanks so much, Connie. I really appreciate the lovely comments and the good wishes. Craig
Comment from Joy Graham
Good one, Craig :) How fun to think there are planets out there on the other side of the sun. To imagine them as being opposite of us is fun too. Maybe they drive their cars backwards everywhere and wear their clothes backwards too.
You have a fine acrostic for the contest. It filled my head with imagination. Another excellent word to teach us about.
Joy xx
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
|
Good one, Craig :) How fun to think there are planets out there on the other side of the sun. To imagine them as being opposite of us is fun too. Maybe they drive their cars backwards everywhere and wear their clothes backwards too.
You have a fine acrostic for the contest. It filled my head with imagination. Another excellent word to teach us about.
Joy xx
Comment Written 27-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
-
Thanks very much, Joy. It's a fun planet, but they're a bit sdrawkcab :) Craig
Comment from --Turtle.
Hey, Craig...
Read through this poem several times. The word of the day, antichthon, as an acrostic, is the backbone of contemplation over the world that is, via comparison of a world that doesn't exist, with a strong message of making our world more like that world on the other side of the sun.
The theme carries lots of food for thought... from imagining a world on the other side of the sun, to imagining our own world in a better way. The last line is a concept that resonates across hearts... getting along, with each other. ... perhaps a meiosis?
I enjoyed this poem, acrostic form, greatly... liked the underlying story ... which takes the imagination from our own world to another world, reflecting on our own.
I went with six stars, because I really like this, the message, the theme, the acrostic with the added challenge of meter and rhyme, ... even though I threw all my thoughts out there as they came, they are more questions than anything else. Each of my thoughts might inadvertantly break the flow or pace of the lines and I feel more like a backseat driver who doesn't know my right from the left.
No likeness bears it to conditions here
(No likeness it bears to conditions here)?
How can it be they do not know of strife?
(How can it be they know naught of strife)?
(see... and then I threw this thought away...because after several readings, I finally found the sense of syllables, though not always which word I should have been putting emphasis on. But that is because of me,... not the line. I only show this thought to you to give you a sense of things I was thinking in case it spurs anything that might actually work, where the line I'm suggesting wouldn't fit at all. (so beware : D Though I also know you wouldn't make any blind changes and am less fearful to show you the thought I had)
Our world it is, not theirs, that's got it wrong
(Our world, not theirs, is who got it all wrong)?
(I also started reviewing the other version of this... but I didn't get to finish what I started, as I was reading and mulling over the words, but figured ... you might like my extra/ old thoughts along with my new)
Now is the(PAST)? time that Earthlings got along
Goes along with the updated line...
Now's the(past)? time for us to get along
(by the way, I liked your update to us... over earthlings...)
Where my thought was of Now being the time... uhg, it's long past time we all got along with each other.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
 |
Hey, Craig...
Read through this poem several times. The word of the day, antichthon, as an acrostic, is the backbone of contemplation over the world that is, via comparison of a world that doesn't exist, with a strong message of making our world more like that world on the other side of the sun.
The theme carries lots of food for thought... from imagining a world on the other side of the sun, to imagining our own world in a better way. The last line is a concept that resonates across hearts... getting along, with each other. ... perhaps a meiosis?
I enjoyed this poem, acrostic form, greatly... liked the underlying story ... which takes the imagination from our own world to another world, reflecting on our own.
I went with six stars, because I really like this, the message, the theme, the acrostic with the added challenge of meter and rhyme, ... even though I threw all my thoughts out there as they came, they are more questions than anything else. Each of my thoughts might inadvertantly break the flow or pace of the lines and I feel more like a backseat driver who doesn't know my right from the left.
No likeness bears it to conditions here
(No likeness it bears to conditions here)?
How can it be they do not know of strife?
(How can it be they know naught of strife)?
(see... and then I threw this thought away...because after several readings, I finally found the sense of syllables, though not always which word I should have been putting emphasis on. But that is because of me,... not the line. I only show this thought to you to give you a sense of things I was thinking in case it spurs anything that might actually work, where the line I'm suggesting wouldn't fit at all. (so beware : D Though I also know you wouldn't make any blind changes and am less fearful to show you the thought I had)
Our world it is, not theirs, that's got it wrong
(Our world, not theirs, is who got it all wrong)?
(I also started reviewing the other version of this... but I didn't get to finish what I started, as I was reading and mulling over the words, but figured ... you might like my extra/ old thoughts along with my new)
Now is the(PAST)? time that Earthlings got along
Goes along with the updated line...
Now's the(past)? time for us to get along
(by the way, I liked your update to us... over earthlings...)
Where my thought was of Now being the time... uhg, it's long past time we all got along with each other.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
-
Thanks for the wonderful, detailed review, Turtle. I've made some quite noticeable changes, including four of the lines (2,8,9 and 10). Hopefully that has circumvented some of the above issues. If you have a chance to revisit it and see what you think of the changes, that would be awesome. If not, most grateful for your input, as always. Craig
-
Hey, Craig, I read the updates and I really like them. The last line does enhance the sense of, even with not using past... it emphasizes that it's overdue.
One of the changes you made also solidified which world was being referred to where that I mentioned as being a little uncertain, as well as optimizing the flow of not using the turning phrases in this case.
I really like the changes.
-
Thanks very much for all your help with this, Turtle. I appreciate it a lot, Craig.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
You got to wonder where this word came from. But still you've written a good Acrostic and yes, Now is the time for earthlings to get along, but it's never happened in history so I don't hold out much hope. I think the last line needs a bit of tweaking - got - get-
just a thought,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
|
You got to wonder where this word came from. But still you've written a good Acrostic and yes, Now is the time for earthlings to get along, but it's never happened in history so I don't hold out much hope. I think the last line needs a bit of tweaking - got - get-
just a thought,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 26-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
-
Thanks for the correction, Valda. I resisted the first time someone suggested it, but two seals it :) I think you're right about it not happening though. Cheers, Craig
Comment from Dawn Munro
We earthlings could take a lesson from other species, if you ask me, and they are living right here, among us subject to our whims, sadly...
Bravo, my friend - this is magnificent!
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
|
We earthlings could take a lesson from other species, if you ask me, and they are living right here, among us subject to our whims, sadly...
Bravo, my friend - this is magnificent!
Comment Written 25-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
-
Indeed we could, Dawn - many lessons. Thanks for the wonderfully supportive review, and the lovely rating. Your kindness has made my afternoon :) Craig
-
Very much my pleasure, Craig.
Comment from Gloria ....
I think is a fabulous acrostic, Craig. Your metre is fantastic as is the message. Wouldn't it be nice if people really did want to get along, and share and all the good things they espouse while doing just the opposite.
The artwork works perfectly.
Best of luck to you with this beauty.
Gloria
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
|
I think is a fabulous acrostic, Craig. Your metre is fantastic as is the message. Wouldn't it be nice if people really did want to get along, and share and all the good things they espouse while doing just the opposite.
The artwork works perfectly.
Best of luck to you with this beauty.
Gloria
Comment Written 25-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
-
You would think it would be so easy, wouldn't you? What's so hard about not having to have more than the next bloke? That's what 90% of it is about. Thanks for the wonderful review, the shiny stars, and the good wishes. I'm very grateful for all of them. Craig
Comment from BeasPeas
It is felt that there IS a parallel world, whether or not is a duplicate earth-like planet we don't know right now, but I do like the concept. Maybe one day we will be able to go around the sun and find out. Will these two worlds annihilate each other if they come face-to-face? (Which they cannot because the sun is in the way.) But since our world is not 100% bad (there are lots of good people here) and the opposite world cannot possibly be 100% good--then in a way are we not the same? Interesting things to ponder. Thanks for a good read and a new word. Marilyn
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
|
It is felt that there IS a parallel world, whether or not is a duplicate earth-like planet we don't know right now, but I do like the concept. Maybe one day we will be able to go around the sun and find out. Will these two worlds annihilate each other if they come face-to-face? (Which they cannot because the sun is in the way.) But since our world is not 100% bad (there are lots of good people here) and the opposite world cannot possibly be 100% good--then in a way are we not the same? Interesting things to ponder. Thanks for a good read and a new word. Marilyn
Comment Written 25-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
-
Thanks for the great review, Marilyn. I've never given much sway to what is "felt". When I see some evidence other than it being a fun idea (which it is), I'll get really keen :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from rama devi
Love your slant rhyme of pitch and which - very clever!!! Love the closing note = a great AHA.
Quite a unique subject for an acrostic. I like how you added bonus rhyme. However, it's very difficult to rhyme an acrostic without it sounding forced. I found the life/strife rhyme unforced but it is cliche, so not a strong choice (my opinion).
Reversed syntax here sounds forced to my ear (though same may like it):
No likeness bears it to conditions here
Now is present, so GOT does not fit well. Suggest:
Now is the time that Earthlings got(GET) along
This is very good. I think it will appeal to the judges on the originality and message aspects, but it could be better if reverse syntax is avoided (my opinion).
Good luck!
Warm Smiles,
rd
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
|
Love your slant rhyme of pitch and which - very clever!!! Love the closing note = a great AHA.
Quite a unique subject for an acrostic. I like how you added bonus rhyme. However, it's very difficult to rhyme an acrostic without it sounding forced. I found the life/strife rhyme unforced but it is cliche, so not a strong choice (my opinion).
Reversed syntax here sounds forced to my ear (though same may like it):
No likeness bears it to conditions here
Now is present, so GOT does not fit well. Suggest:
Now is the time that Earthlings got(GET) along
This is very good. I think it will appeal to the judges on the originality and message aspects, but it could be better if reverse syntax is avoided (my opinion).
Good luck!
Warm Smiles,
rd
Comment Written 25-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
-
Thanks very much for the thoughtful comments and the kind remarks, RD. Your good wishes are appreciated too. I'll look at it again with your suggestions in mind. :) Craig
-
:-)))))
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Acrostic Poetry writing prompt.
Your verse describes Antichthon, the counter Earth, as a lovely place.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
|
I think this is a good entry for the Acrostic Poetry writing prompt.
Your verse describes Antichthon, the counter Earth, as a lovely place.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 25-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
-
Thanks, Sharon. Most grateful for the good wishes. Craig
