~ The Tooth Fairy ~
Rhyming Poem (HM)28 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Aaaahahaha! Yes, why indeed, Dad? Hahahaha! What a charming poem this is, and so easy to picture! I can see this taking a place of honor in a children's book too (did you know there are special points of interest within a chapbook, and the best of all your poems should occupy them - it's true!)
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2018
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Aaaahahaha! Yes, why indeed, Dad? Hahahaha! What a charming poem this is, and so easy to picture! I can see this taking a place of honor in a children's book too (did you know there are special points of interest within a chapbook, and the best of all your poems should occupy them - it's true!)
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 29-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2018
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Thank you Dawn, as always, your review is much appreciated. I am not sure on your bracketed comment on ?special points of interest within a chapbook?. Is this something I should know? Is it something within FanStory? ~DD
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No, not on FS, just something I learned when I first published a whole chapbook (and not just individual poems) about putting together a book of poetry for publication - you always use the best of the best to start and end the book (of course), but also, within - the 'anchor points', which would be 1/4 in and 3/4 in - yes? *smile* I wouldn't have even thought of that. That's all I was saying, so in case you were putting together a chapbook (which I would love to see) I was sharing the tip. :))
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Thank you Dawn, I have a lot to learn so will be happy for you to offload your tips any time. I have given thought to a book...but always seems to doubt my work compared to the works that I have seen on this site...including yours. I feel I need to learn more in order to be in the running for anyone to be interested in my writing. ~DDxx
Comment from BeasPeas
LOL! Great write. Your poem is charming and expresses the conundrum parents have to place the tooth fairy money under the pillow. I understand from my daughter that the "fee" has gone up quite dramatically these days. Marilyn
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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LOL! Great write. Your poem is charming and expresses the conundrum parents have to place the tooth fairy money under the pillow. I understand from my daughter that the "fee" has gone up quite dramatically these days. Marilyn
Comment Written 19-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Hi Marilyn, thanks for your comments on my Tooth Fairy poem. The ?fee? only goes up as far as the parents make it so. A child does not know any different until the parents distort the innocence of such an act. My kids only got a $1 hidden under their pillow. My youngest was so beautiful and really believed for a long time until big sis and school mates spoilt the affair. I have such sweet notes still that she has written to the tooth fairy. My youngest has in the past come home from school telling me how much some kids have got - $50 - from their parent for losing a tooth. How stupid is that! The bubble joy of make believe is always popped by those that do not believe. ~DD
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Wow! $50 is a hefty price for a lost tooth. I'm with you, $1 is plenty.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A cute image.
-A good poem with effective
rhyme, story, and dialogue, DD.
-You capture the girl's apprehension
of possibly missing the tooth fairy
very well.
-She is vigilant, and then surprised
when she sees her dad!
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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-A cute image.
-A good poem with effective
rhyme, story, and dialogue, DD.
-You capture the girl's apprehension
of possibly missing the tooth fairy
very well.
-She is vigilant, and then surprised
when she sees her dad!
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Thank you Pam, for taking the time to review my ABAB short poem. Your comments are always encouraging and very much appreciated. ~DD
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You are welcome, DD.
Comment from rspoet
Hello DD,
The is such a nice children's poem
with excellent alternating rhyme and very fine natural meter.
I guess that'll teach dad to wait till much later than nine.
I remember putting the tooth beneath the pillow
but I never did see that elusive tooth fairy.
My imagination didn't quite match your art work,
but it still works well with the poem.
Nicely done.
Big congratulations on the haiku win!
Robert
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Hello DD,
The is such a nice children's poem
with excellent alternating rhyme and very fine natural meter.
I guess that'll teach dad to wait till much later than nine.
I remember putting the tooth beneath the pillow
but I never did see that elusive tooth fairy.
My imagination didn't quite match your art work,
but it still works well with the poem.
Nicely done.
Big congratulations on the haiku win!
Robert
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Thank you Robert for your very thoughtful review of my ABAB tooth fairy poem and for the contest wishes. I never grew up with a tooth fairy - strangely and I still have some of my baby teeth tucked away in a draw somewhere. Why I saved them, I don?t know, but I got great joy from my kids getting lost in the magical world of the tooth fairy. It was a beautiful time. I?d always kick myself when I had forgotten to go in and deliver a shiny $1 coin under the pillow because I was too tired and slept the night through. ~DD
Comment from Ogden
Dad must have been startled, too. That's a cute story, DD. I didn't know that the Tooth Fairy is active Down Under. You guys are into everything.
There are a couple of little things I noticed, that you might want to consider.
..."passed the hour nine..." should be "past the hour..."
"...she waited with torch..." I know the Brits used "torch" instead of "flashlight," so I guess the Aussies inherited that. I think most FS folks may be unfamiliar with "torch." "She waited, flashlight under white sheet tent" could be an acceptable alternative.
Good luck in the contest, DD.
Don
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Dad must have been startled, too. That's a cute story, DD. I didn't know that the Tooth Fairy is active Down Under. You guys are into everything.
There are a couple of little things I noticed, that you might want to consider.
..."passed the hour nine..." should be "past the hour..."
"...she waited with torch..." I know the Brits used "torch" instead of "flashlight," so I guess the Aussies inherited that. I think most FS folks may be unfamiliar with "torch." "She waited, flashlight under white sheet tent" could be an acceptable alternative.
Good luck in the contest, DD.
Don
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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G?day Don. Many thanks for your constructive comments on my short rhyming poem. I always appreciate your feedback. ~DD
Comment from Mrs. KT
Oh No!
She now knows there is no tooth fairy? How I miss those days when our children were so innocent and believing... I can well imagine the little girl in her poem making sold preparations for the tooth fairy to appear, being worried that she was late, and then, the surprise or horror of seeing her father enter her bedroom! Well-crafted! Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Oh No!
She now knows there is no tooth fairy? How I miss those days when our children were so innocent and believing... I can well imagine the little girl in her poem making sold preparations for the tooth fairy to appear, being worried that she was late, and then, the surprise or horror of seeing her father enter her bedroom! Well-crafted! Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 18-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Thank you Diane. I appreciate your thoughtful comments on my ABAB Tooth Fairy Poem. I miss those days with my kids too, especially my youngest who was a true believer. ~DD
Comment from Fabiha_N
This is well-written poem, with a nice twist to it! Each line flows nicely to the next, and tells a great story. This does bring back childhood momories of waiting for the toothfairy at night. When I actually did find a toy under my pillow, I thought "Wow, my parents are good at this!"
Knowing that the tooth fairy isn't real is just like thinking Santa Claus isn't real!
Great work :)
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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This is well-written poem, with a nice twist to it! Each line flows nicely to the next, and tells a great story. This does bring back childhood momories of waiting for the toothfairy at night. When I actually did find a toy under my pillow, I thought "Wow, my parents are good at this!"
Knowing that the tooth fairy isn't real is just like thinking Santa Claus isn't real!
Great work :)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2018
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Thank you Fabiha for taking the time to review my abab poem and for sharing your thoughts on childhood memories. I have such sweet memories of my youngest. She really believed until the eldest popped her bubble and told her tooth fairies and Santa Claus do not exist. I was not happy. Strange how one believes more than the other given the same settings. ~DD
Comment from tony bronk
hahaha Surprise! It's me! dad! The famous Tooth Fairy how quaint! Who invented /dreamt up such a thing? Who knows, right? Funny poem Tony
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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hahaha Surprise! It's me! dad! The famous Tooth Fairy how quaint! Who invented /dreamt up such a thing? Who knows, right? Funny poem Tony
Comment Written 17-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Thanks Tony, I appreciate you taking the time to review my short Tooth Fairy poem. I am glad it brought a smile to your face. ~DD
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
This is a cute poem! I love the little girl's queries throughout the poem, and I especially love your ending. Poor little girl is figuring out that Dad is really the tooth fairy. :) Good luck in the contest with this fun entry. ~~ Connie
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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This is a cute poem! I love the little girl's queries throughout the poem, and I especially love your ending. Poor little girl is figuring out that Dad is really the tooth fairy. :) Good luck in the contest with this fun entry. ~~ Connie
Comment Written 17-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
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Thank you Bichonfrisegirl for taking the time to review my short poem. Your comments are always encouraging and very much appreciated. ~DD
Comment from jenintorre
A very cute entry for the rhyming poem contest. I like a poem with a good punch line and you certainly achieved that. Good luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
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A very cute entry for the rhyming poem contest. I like a poem with a good punch line and you certainly achieved that. Good luck in the competition.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
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Thank you jenintorre for taking the time to review my short poem. Your comments encouraging and very much appreciated. ~DD
