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Friends, places, pulpits, carts

mirrored refrain fer de 'latch

12 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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Nicely done with your mirrored refrain Red, and a good choice of topic, where the memories are sometimes better than today's reality.Your refrain lines work very well in each verse, enjoyed.
cheers.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2018
    Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my attack on the mirrored refrain poetic form.
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
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HI LlJ, I went to my old neighborhood a few years back...I couldn't believe how run down it had gotten...it was heart breaking...but I guess as we get older...we have to get used to changes in our lives...I love the rhythm of this poem...it just moves along...very well written...and I love your picture my sweet friend...love ya ...Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2018
    The press of increasing population is making neighborhoods out of timberlands everywhere. How many trees can we lose before the oxygen begins to decrease? Yes, I used the Potlatch Club prompt to say my usual piece. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
reply by l.raven on 14-Mar-2018
    I know what you are saying...I HATE all the junk mail I get...it costs tearing down trees...and if they don't stop...the air will be gone...and people know...but for money...they don't care....sigh...your so very welcome...love ya...Linda xxoo
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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Well done! You pinned this challenge by its ears.

Love the theme. It hurts to see what we once cherished so badly changed. So many tout their religion but seem to leave it at the church doors. However, learned prayers do not have to be said merely by rote. They can be recited very sincerely.

Wonderful poem.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    The mirrored refrain is another of the specialized styles were picking the refrain is everything. Though not a style I expect to use often, it has it's uses. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Realist101
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Love what this says Red...we stopped going to church years ago because of the blatant hypocrisy. And it's society my friend. We're in a sad decline and it's terrible. I wish we who love the better good old days could save them, but we can't. My favorite lines are 'they pray by rote' -- 'the foothills are a gaudy slum' , well the whole poem is great. Sadly. S.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    No use to cry for the good old days, let's just hope we --all of us--can learn to deal with the new world and keep things from falling apart. Thanks very much for reading my potlatch response. And again, thanks for feeling it rated a six!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Excellent poem on losing the simple life of the past, when small country churches sang hymns like they really meant it. As time goes by, population increase changes a place, and not in a good way. There are few rural areas that retain their purity, in every way. Traditions and manners have been lost over the years, to the point where now... now manners are obsolete and traditional American life is scorned. Progress is not all good. We've lost as much as much as we've gained.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    Some of the old ways can't work anymore, with the influx of other cultures and growing population, but now we need common sense and courtesy worse than ever, and there is very little to be found. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written mirrored refrain. People and places around us change over time and we don't necessarily like the changes and we prefer the memories of the good times.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    I had to relay on my usual gripes to find a refrain that played over and over. I hope I got the details right. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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This is what they call progresss, and nature often suffers as the bulldozer's move in, I liked your poem, this style is lovely, very clever, best wishes, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    The style was from the Potlatch Club Challenge. Too much of the poem is refrain, in my opinion, but it can have its uses.
    Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Joy Graham
Excellent
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I kind of like this poetry form and may give it a try. I have no plans for today's posts yet, so why not? I'll jot down some notes and then check it out on shadow poetry. You have impressed me with this poem. I like your theme. Your repeating lines switch smoothly. Well done!

Joy xx

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    This style will work if your repeating lines are right. It's the potlatch club challenge, not a style I plan to use a lot, but an interesting experiment. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Priest B. Brown
Excellent
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This is an excellent writing prompt entry for Potlatch.

It is both compelling and moving.

So true of many people and places over time.

The fire goes out of their lives.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    Well, it's a gouge at me, too. Just giving up and staying here in the woods is not a good answer, but I do that to some extent.
    Old age, I guess. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Help me here.


IS THIS A PANTOUM?

I cannot quite conjures the precise format but maybe?

Regard l ess, it is hauntingly beautiful and melancholy...

All I kept thinking is " it's true, you can't go home again"

Loved this poem....

Karenina

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 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    No, it is a style referred to as a mirrored refrain, similar to a pantoum. I think hiding in the woods is a mistake, but I feel the urge sometimes. Wishing I could go home, I guess. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
reply by karenina on 13-Mar-2018
    Oh! Thanks for reminding me.....I knew it had bits of the PANTOUM line repetition but could not seem to remember the name.