Reviews from

A Long Time Dead.

Thoughts of war.

20 total reviews 
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Just a suggestion: "battle fields" should probably be the compound word battlefields. Strong and effective repeating line. Good rhyme scheme. Seems not much is learned from battlefields as wars keep being fought there.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2019
    Thank you so much for your kind review. I have adjusted battlefield as you suggest. Thank you for your help.
    Brenda.x
Comment from Old Soldier
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This s a well written and moving poem. I love the beat just the right flow. As if taps is being played in the background. As an old Soldier, I salute you.

 Comment Written 03-May-2018

Comment from DragonSkulls
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent piece of poetry here, Brenda. I see why it's up for poem of the month. I wish the best of luck in the voting. You surely get my vote. Again, great piece. Have a wonderful weekend.

Ron

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2018

Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sorry I'm late brenda bickers or I could of forgotten to read and review you strong poem from the thoughts of men now in war or in battle years ago.
Reminded me of my Grandfather who was in the Spanish American war in 1898.

Would you like to read my prose/poem of how he felt?

Did I understand the History of the wars aren't going to be brought up in schools








 Comment Written 25-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2018
    Hi Gert,
    I am so sorry i have not replied sooner. Thank you so much for reviewing my poem. Yes schools do not have to teach history as it is no longer part of the curriculum. I think this is very sad because we learn so much from our past. I would love o read your prose about your grandfather. Will i find it on your page?
    hanks again for your time.
    Brenda.x
reply by Gert sherwood on 27-Mar-2018
    You are welcome Brenda
    I will post prose/ poem about my Grandfather his experience fighting in the Spanish American War.
Comment from Ideasaregems-Dawn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As always, Brenda, you write so evocatively, it's impossible not to feel the impact emotionally.

I do, however, have a few suggestions for grammar:

"...the soldier there (who) fought..." "that" isn't for people

"...for those (who)..."

I might also suggest replacing "their" with "a", simply because "those" is plural, so unless you want to use "lives", "a" is grammatically correct, yes? Same thing for the line about mothers... "her" would be "another mother's son" - singular

This is such a powerful poem, and the line you wrote to repeat is wonderful on many levels. (SO SAD!)


 Comment Written 21-Mar-2018

Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very soulful ode to the soldier who lost/loses his life in all these wars we fought/fight. Also to those who come back and we can't understand what he or she went through during their battles. It gives us the idea that war is really futile and should never begin.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    Hi dragonpoet,
    Thank you for reading my poem. I don't think we will ever rid ourselves of war all the time we have divisions on religion. Wouldn't it be so much better if we could all accept that what ever religion we believe in it should make no difference to others.
    Thank you for taking the time to review.
    Brenda.x
reply by dragonpoet on 13-Mar-2018
    My pleasure. I am sorry that you are right about divisions which should not be there but are.

    Joan
Comment from Joy Graham
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Brenda,

Your poem makes some good points. I wasn't aware that schools were choosing to not teach history. It just doesn't feel right to me. I think our history is an important part of who we are.

I enjoyed your poem with nice rhythmic lines. Is this a kyrielle? I'm guessing because of your repeating line. You did a fine job with strong and knowledgeable wording.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    Hi Joy,
    I am afraid I have no idea what type of poem this is . I don't think much about the format I just write what comes to me in what ever style. It is sad that history is now not compulsory in schools. I always thought that history was how we learnt by our mistakes and shaped us for the future. I am glad you liked this.
    Thank you for reading and reviewing.
    Brenda.x
Comment from Dean Kuch
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your poem is wonderfully well rhymed and written, Brenda.
The topic it addresses is a very serious and dangerous one.
I recently asked ten young people between the ages of fifteen and twenty who attacked Pearl Harbor, in what year, and during which war the attack occurred.
Do you know not one of them got the entire question right?
Not a single one.
That's scary to me because if we don't know our history and are not able to learn from it, then we will be doomed to repeat it.
Exceptional poem, Brenda.


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    Hi Dean,
    it is so good to see you back again. I do hope this is not a fleeting visit.. Thank you so much for your wonderful review. It is sad that young people are not aware of their history and are unable to date or know anything about historical facts that make who we are today. Without history we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. I always assumed history was a great way to learn how to socialise and hold a conversation, but i guess it is all about how many friends you have on Facebook or the latest PlayStation game. God help us all if this is the next generation to take us into the next millennium.
    Thank you for taking the time to read and review, it is great to hear from you.
    Brenda.x
reply by Dean Kuch on 12-Mar-2018
    You're welcome, Brenda.
    It's always a pleasure.
Comment from Halfree
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Had some trouble with a review. Liked the poem and thought it stood on its own; no need to make a commentary statement... took away from the story of the poem. I thought the poem was a fiver; and as I noted the commentary did not add to the story line of the poem.
Thought for a while and chose to ignore the commentary, gave the poem the five it earned on its own.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    Hi Halftree,
    I am sorry you were not to keen on my author notes. Some people like to know what it is us poets were thinking and writing about where others are happy to come to their own conclusions. That said I am grateful that you decided to award me five stars. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. I will think on about adding notes next i post a poem. Thank you for your thoughts.
    Brenda.x
Comment from Pantygynt
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The Spanish philosopher, George Santayana, coined a phrase, often attributed to Sir Winston Churchill that, in its original form, read, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

I have been out of the professional school teaching role too long now to be sure of my ground but your quote refers to "elementary schools", a term that has not been used in British education since before I entered the profession in the mid 1970s. I presume therefore that your note refers to the American education system.

In the days before the national curriculum I always looked upon history, at that time lumped together with geography and entitled "humanities", as a method of teaching, so that by studying the past we learn how to conduct ourselves in the future. I felt this was more relevant to an upcoming generation than memorising a date pudding of the crowned heads of England.

Your poem makes some extremely valid points, and rolls along beautifully in its rhyming couplets of iambic heptameters. The presence of a really powerful refrain lain concluding each stanza pounds home the main one.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    Hi Jim,
    I recently asked my niece if she had a favourite lesson at school as mine was always history. Her reply to me was that they do not study history as a set lesson because the computer can answer any questions that they wish to ask about our past. How sad is that. I loved getting involved in the history classes and we were often given subjects to study and re-enact by way of drama. how is one supposed to learn from past mistakes if they do not know anything about them? I am happy that you enjoyed my poem and the repeated last line in each stanza. Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
    Brenda.x