This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "The Beginning of a Plan"Veronica is sent back again
32 total reviews
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hi there, your use of slang is good. I wouldn't have thought to do that but it gives that certain character a very distinct sound. Irish? The use of 'da' made me think it was. I liked your story, even though I come in a little way into it. I write in UK English. It's annoying sometimes as certain computers set to the USA English, pick up all these spelling errors that aren't spelling errors depending on where you live. Good luck with your story; an entertaining read. Ana.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
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Hi there, your use of slang is good. I wouldn't have thought to do that but it gives that certain character a very distinct sound. Irish? The use of 'da' made me think it was. I liked your story, even though I come in a little way into it. I write in UK English. It's annoying sometimes as certain computers set to the USA English, pick up all these spelling errors that aren't spelling errors depending on where you live. Good luck with your story; an entertaining read. Ana.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2018
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Hi, Ana, Lovely to meet you! Welcome to the site, you'll love it here. Just be aware, you will become so addicted, your house work will suffer! LOL. Thank you for reading this part. I know what you mean about the spelling problem, but you can change it to only pick up English spelling. Make sure you put a note in your AUTHOR'S notes at the bottom that you write in UK English, if you don't some reviewers will keep telling you there are loads of spelling errors in you writing. Frustrating! They are lovely people on here and I've learnt loads. I'll go and read your first part in a moment.
As for the slang, you need to make your character 'real' and that means allowing them to speak the way you would expect them to. No, this book is in Cornwall, in the year 1846, Veronica is taken back and forth in time righting the mistakes that shouldn't have happened, before the future is changed. Complicated! The first book in this trilogy has been published and doing well. It would never have happened had I not found this site. Fan as many people as you can if you like their work and they will fan you back, you will earn more of the 'funny money' that way, too! Big hugs, my new friend. :) Sandra
Comment from rwilliam
Great photo for this chapter.
Very good chapter for laying ground work. I like that Daveth came back to her time to try and get help. Nice change of pace. I like the involvement of Ann again too. That reminder that she has this gift of seeing these characters from the past is fun to remember.
Looking forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2018
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Great photo for this chapter.
Very good chapter for laying ground work. I like that Daveth came back to her time to try and get help. Nice change of pace. I like the involvement of Ann again too. That reminder that she has this gift of seeing these characters from the past is fun to remember.
Looking forward to reading more.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Rebecca, so much for the lovely review and six stars. You know how much your reviews mean to me, and I really appreciate you! Thank you. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good chapter, Sandra.
-I like the variety of
situations and characters involved.
-The first character we haven't
heard from in a while is Daveth,
who just happens to be in Ann's room.
-Ver. has a frightful thought if
Joe is going to communicate
via one of the children; hopefully
that won't be necessary.
-Poor Daveth has the weight
of trying to help his family on his shoulders.
-I like the ending, as Mildred becomes
the planner. She seems pretty confident
about it, too!
-I enjoyed this chapter very much, my friend.
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018
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-A good chapter, Sandra.
-I like the variety of
situations and characters involved.
-The first character we haven't
heard from in a while is Daveth,
who just happens to be in Ann's room.
-Ver. has a frightful thought if
Joe is going to communicate
via one of the children; hopefully
that won't be necessary.
-Poor Daveth has the weight
of trying to help his family on his shoulders.
-I like the ending, as Mildred becomes
the planner. She seems pretty confident
about it, too!
-I enjoyed this chapter very much, my friend.
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
Comment Written 07-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018
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Mildred has a daring plan, but Veronica will be a little doubtful as to whether it will work. We'll have to wait and see. :)) lol.
Daveth, like Veronica seem to be put in place when needed without any problems. I think someone is orchestrating Daveth's movements as well. Thank you so very much, my dear friend, for all those shiny, lovely stars! ~Don't they look nice?? :)) And your review, you always the nicest things about what is actually happening. It's really lovely, Pam. Thank you. Big hugs, my dear friend. :)) ~Sandra xxx
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Mildred is quite something. Her daring plan should be interesting! You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and the review, Sandra. It means a lot that you like my observations, my friend.
Comment from alexisleech
Another delightful chapter, Sandra, and one that leaves me looking forward to the next! What a lovely character Mildred is. Just when Veronica reaches the end of her tether, she seems to come up with a great idea. With so much going on, she is bound to work out the best strategy with her usual 'no nonsense' approach!
Hugs from a cold but 'melted' Glasgow,
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018
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Another delightful chapter, Sandra, and one that leaves me looking forward to the next! What a lovely character Mildred is. Just when Veronica reaches the end of her tether, she seems to come up with a great idea. With so much going on, she is bound to work out the best strategy with her usual 'no nonsense' approach!
Hugs from a cold but 'melted' Glasgow,
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 07-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much, Alexis, for the wonderful review and all those lovely stars!! I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. I'm waiting to find out what Mildred has come up with, she is a tease, isn't she! LOL. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Oh, nice and sunny here today. Still a bit nippy, but not freezing thank goodness. :)) xxx
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
Ann must be a very good sleeper to fall fasto asleep with Daveth in her room.
The part about not being able to bring something back in time was very good.
I think that would cause all kinds of trouble.
One thing I'm not sure about is how Daveth is able to move back and forth
in time, seemingly at will.
You cleverly didn't say WHY Sir John wanted to see Joe.
Everyone just assumes it for evil purposes. Perhaps not.
Where would Batman be without Robin, the Lone Ranger without Tonto,
and Veronica without Mildred. Lost, I think.
Wisdom comes with age, but so does achy joints
and glasses to be able to read This Time That Time.
Another excellent chapter, my friend!
Well done
Robert
PS. Veronica looks good in the picture. Close to what I imagined.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018
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Hello Sandra,
Ann must be a very good sleeper to fall fasto asleep with Daveth in her room.
The part about not being able to bring something back in time was very good.
I think that would cause all kinds of trouble.
One thing I'm not sure about is how Daveth is able to move back and forth
in time, seemingly at will.
You cleverly didn't say WHY Sir John wanted to see Joe.
Everyone just assumes it for evil purposes. Perhaps not.
Where would Batman be without Robin, the Lone Ranger without Tonto,
and Veronica without Mildred. Lost, I think.
Wisdom comes with age, but so does achy joints
and glasses to be able to read This Time That Time.
Another excellent chapter, my friend!
Well done
Robert
PS. Veronica looks good in the picture. Close to what I imagined.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018
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Ann is like me, I sleep through anything. and can sleep anywhere, on a clothes line if necessary! You are so right about the aching bones. I've been having pain in my lower back and down my leg, which I put down to sciatica. When I came out of the gym yesterday, I was crossing the road when the lights started to change and I went to run the rest of the way. I had the worst ever pain hit me and my leg collapsed leaving me in the middle of the road. It took me ages to stand up and hobble the rest of the way. My husband took me to the A&E, where they informed me I'd torn my hamstring. I don't recommend it! LOL, don't I wander off track? Thank you my friend, for your lovely review. Some questions can't be answered at the moment , Mildred has threatened me to secrecy! I'm glad you liked the picture, it's very much how I imagine her to look like, too. Big hugs for the lovely 6 stars, my friend! :) Sandra xx
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I'm so sorry to hear you tore your hamstring. Athletes do it all the time. Fortunately, that's one pain I've never experienced.
The pain from your back down your leg sounds like a pinched nerve or bugling disc. That will often correct itself, if you don't aggravate it.
I can't imagine Mildred threatening anyone. Least of all, you!
I think the fact that Sir John saw the ghost of Gwendolyn (or believes he did) should influence his future behavior.
Time will tells.
Robert
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I do feel sorry for Sir John. We will see what happens. Thanks, Robert. :)) xxxx
Comment from mbroyles2
I love how you move a story along with tremendous dialog and every character interacts so well.
It's like we're sitting next to them as they discuss the issues that are facing them.
Great pace and easy to follow.
that's make a good story.
Lovely work.
Michael
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018
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I love how you move a story along with tremendous dialog and every character interacts so well.
It's like we're sitting next to them as they discuss the issues that are facing them.
Great pace and easy to follow.
that's make a good story.
Lovely work.
Michael
Comment Written 06-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much, Michael, that means so much to me, coming from a novelist of your calibre. The 6 stars are a wonderful bonus. Thank you, my friend! Big hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from estory
I think you did a good job moving this along with the dialogue, it was crisp and we get the concerns and emotions of the various characters. Interesting ending, with that suggestion of a plan coming to fruition. You keep the suspense going. I'm having a hard time remembering what's going on here between all these interchanging times and all the involved characters. estory
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018
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I think you did a good job moving this along with the dialogue, it was crisp and we get the concerns and emotions of the various characters. Interesting ending, with that suggestion of a plan coming to fruition. You keep the suspense going. I'm having a hard time remembering what's going on here between all these interchanging times and all the involved characters. estory
Comment Written 06-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018
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Mildred has something up her sleeve alright, I wonder what it is! Thank you so much for another lovely review, Estory, I appreciate you loyal support. Big hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from Treischel
I always marvels at the easy, natural relationships you build into your main characters. Here we have another evening discussion, followed by a ghostly visitation by Daveth, then a thoughtful conversation of problem solving. Of course, you leave us devilishly hanging again with the promise of a plan unfolding. Such a tease!
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018
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I always marvels at the easy, natural relationships you build into your main characters. Here we have another evening discussion, followed by a ghostly visitation by Daveth, then a thoughtful conversation of problem solving. Of course, you leave us devilishly hanging again with the promise of a plan unfolding. Such a tease!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much, Tom, that's such a lovely review. I do enjoy leaving it at just the right spot, the only problem with that is, sometimes the parts are very long. I haven't had any complaints as such, but I do feel a bit guilty. Thanks again, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from giraffmang
Another enjoyable chapter. Now of Joe takes the demon-child...
to learn about this set-back - setback can be a single word here.
Don't tell me da' I came 'ere t' see you - Don't think you need the apostrophe for da, you don't use it later one either.
was as straight forward as that one - straightforward can be a single word here.
'They told me mam Sir John wants t' see 'im in the mornin'. When Mam told me da when 'e came 'ome, he said 'e weren't goin'. - need closing speech marks here.
Why's Sir John so scared of people knowin' bout Francis'? - don't need the apostrophe after Francis.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018
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Another enjoyable chapter. Now of Joe takes the demon-child...
to learn about this set-back - setback can be a single word here.
Don't tell me da' I came 'ere t' see you - Don't think you need the apostrophe for da, you don't use it later one either.
was as straight forward as that one - straightforward can be a single word here.
'They told me mam Sir John wants t' see 'im in the mornin'. When Mam told me da when 'e came 'ome, he said 'e weren't goin'. - need closing speech marks here.
Why's Sir John so scared of people knowin' bout Francis'? - don't need the apostrophe after Francis.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018
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Thank you so much, Gareth, for another really helpful review. I've made the corrections. I was so sure I'd caught them all this time! I'm not saying anything re 'the demon-child' and Joe! LOL I've had so many reviewers trying to get it out of me with their guesswork. It's really nice that you're all so in to my story. Thank you, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from jppoet
Hi, two of your fans suggested your story and I am happy they did. You surely have a literary gift, with command of language and great senses of
dialogue, story-pace and suspense. Happy you gave a synopsis of prior chapters, can't wait to read more. Blessings, john
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018
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Hi, two of your fans suggested your story and I am happy they did. You surely have a literary gift, with command of language and great senses of
dialogue, story-pace and suspense. Happy you gave a synopsis of prior chapters, can't wait to read more. Blessings, john
Comment Written 06-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2018
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Really? How nice of them, there are so many lovely people here on Fanstory. Thank you so much for coming over and reading my story, John, and I'm so pleased you found the synopsis useful and enjoyed it! Thank you again. :) Sandra xxx
