Reviews from

Legend Chasers

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Trail Ride Preparations"
An old man retells stories of fighting monsters.

24 total reviews 
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an interesting and well-written chapter of your story. The dialogue makes the story flow in an excellent manner and it is most believable. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the wonderful review, my friend. Have a great weekend!
Comment from mbroyles2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This chapter had lots of conversation between Nara and two of the brothers.
Harry, Henry, and Hank. Oh my! But clearly Hank is the charmer.
Nara had a brief moment where she bared her soul and that openness connects with all of us.
Great story!
Michael

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the stars and comments, Michael! I'm glad it didn't seem like an information dump, but it's crucial to other parts of the story.

    Hank is a charmer, but he does care,

    Thanks so much,
    Rhonda
Comment from pbomar1115
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nara life seems to be in a discovery point. I didn't come in on the beginning but I hope to come closer to understanding the chapter since I was off in the other one. Harry has a relaxing effect on Nara insecurity regarding what she is experiencing.

Phillip

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
    Yes, Phillip, you are spot on, and thanks for returning to read. It really means a lot.
    You were right on catching that Harry is the steading effect.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
reply by pbomar1115 on 15-Feb-2018
    You're welcome, Ronda.

    Phillip
Comment from RPSaxena
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Rhonda,
It's a nice piece of Fantasy Fiction having smooth and captivating flow with lucid phraseology leading forward in an interesting way.
Laudable Attempt!

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the wonderful review, and the brilliant six stars, my friend. You are so appreciated.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
reply by RPSaxena on 14-Feb-2018
    Rhonda, Most Welcome!
    ~ RP
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-A very good chapter, Rhonda.
-The description of horses is
very vivid and gives each one character.
-Of course, when Hank shows up with
his horse, it's magnificent.
-Nara is very perceptive about which
brother begins talking to her.
-I also like the section about
the brothers' names and Nara's
comment about the parents choices.
-But then we learn they did choose
rather interesting ones.
-Nara's comment to Hank about
having a choice is a telling one,
and is a surprise to her and the reader.
-It adds a different dimension to the
story, coming toward the end.

Glitter Photos
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]



 Comment Written 13-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2018
    Thank you, Pam. What a helpful review! I love the way you gave me details on what works so I can work with that on the next chapter. I did think of having the information work its way out slowly, but she'll have more time to elaborate later. Hank will hound her on it.

    Glad you liked the horse description. I'm trying to add more description to my writing, as it's something I am often weak on.

    Thank you, especially for the stars. That means so much to me.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
reply by Pam (respa) on 14-Feb-2018
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. The description is excellent and makes for a really good story. I think the way you handled Nara's information was good because it was spontaneous but not too much, and as you said, you can develop it along.
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Rhonda,
You sound like a southern girl who grew up with horses.
There's a hint of authenticity and love of horses in your writing.
The dialogue is excellent as Nara deals with the brothers three
Like The Three Musketeers of Southern Texas.
I suspect the horse ride will be another adventure for Nara.
This is a wonderfully written chapter.
Well done!
RS

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2018
    As always, you're a step ahead of me. I think you're a closet fantasy novelist.
    Yes, the ride will be one big, huge adventure.
    Also got me on the horses. They are not only my favorite animal, but I had them when I was growing up.
    Three Musketeers.... hmmm... maybe!

    Thanks for the comments, and the wonderful six stars, Robert.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Rhonda, I liked what I read here. It's very well written and I like the interaction of the characters. I'll have to catch up with the story, but I'm so busy moving home that I'm struggling to keep up. Every night I do a little work on FS and I'm also writing as much as possible. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    Thank you for the review, Ulla, especially as busy as you are. Where are you moving?
    I just moved into my mother-in-law's house as my husband's father recently passed away, and she needs someone to live here to help take care of her. She's in good health, but is really lonely.

    Anyway, I understand trying to juggle moving and writing.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from F. Wehr3
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good continuation of the story, Rhonda. I enjoyed the banter about their names being from Greek Mythology. I look forward to where you take this.

a quite human voice said.--quiet?

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    I mean quite, but maybe that wasn't a good word for it. Meaning, it was human as opposed to a horse.

    Thanks for the review and comments, Russell.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
reply by F. Wehr3 on 12-Feb-2018
    Lol, Rhonda! I totally get it now. Take care.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi, Rhonda;
Seems we learned more about Nara within those few lines than all that came before. Thank you for the wonderful descriptions of the horses. I could see each of them clearly.

Looking forward to more,

~patty~

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    Thank you, Patty, for the wonderful six star review, and for you comments.

    I'm trying harder to focus on descriptions, which have often been lacking in earlier books. I get caught up in the story and forget to set the stage.

    Thanks again,
    Rhonda
Comment from trumby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't read many romance stories. (Maybe I should as I hear that it's the biggest market in the world. I'd like to break into it)
I think that this might maybe be a little bit different.
My idea of putting romance in a story is when the bloke pats his dog.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
    I seldom write romance, but only hint at it. This is a fantasy story, and will get there quickly. Romance is just dashed in, and not where this is heading.

    Thanks for the read and comments, my friend.

    Take care,
    Rhonda