Reviews from

What I See

The world of a blind person

14 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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This 3-5-3, What I See, uses those eleven syllables to present that dire circumstance of blindness. Almost inconceivable by we with sight. It worries us to think it would be gone.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 09-Feb-2018
    Thank you for your review
Comment from Susan B. Lamphier
Excellent
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This was very good! You encompassed the "air" quality in such a different and engaging way. The graphic was spot on--intriguing in its own right. Well done! Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
    Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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The expression "inky air" is magnificent. I am sorry for you ancestors blindness and thoughts of possible genetic factors must certainly be worrying. However I do think it is such an appropriate use of the adjective "inky". It is so original too. I have never come acrossit before. Most apt.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
    Thank you for those kind comment.
Comment from TPAC
Excellent
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I do feel the intention behind your conveyance, a profound consideration of perception
Suggest:
What I see
Because I cannot
Air inky

Might be wrong about this placement, yet feels so right. All in my opinion of this work.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
    Thank you for that suggestion. The contest if closed now, or I probably would have changed it. Particularly since the first two lines were written in reverse.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
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Inky air has always been one of my biggest concerns. Of all the senses to lose, blindness is probably the one I would dread the most. Poem captures this theme well. Good luck in this contest.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
    Thank you for understanding and for the review.
Comment from angel123
Excellent
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Your poem is interesting and you followed the contest rules. I'm not sure inky is the right word. I looked it up and I guess you mean that air can be seen through the breathe when in darkness. Best wishes!

Angel123

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 08-Feb-2018
    I guess I made up the adjective. Nothing is blacker than ink. That's what I wanted to portray. That blind people only see the blackest of blacks. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Excellent
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What I see
Because I cannot
Inky air
This is so clever, a poem through the 'eyes' of a blind person. I really liked it and hope it does well in the competition- it is unique and amazing. I wish I had a six for you. Love and regards Meia x

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018
    Thank you Meia. That you even think it deserves a 6 means the world to me. Sweet, sweet review.
Comment from misscookie
Excellent
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That artwork you choose to go with your poem captured my attention especial the eyes
And when I read your poem I understood why
My grand ma use to say "None is so blind as those who can see.
This is what I get from your poem
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie

 Comment Written 07-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018
    Thanks so much for the review. The eyes caught me, too.
reply by misscookie on 07-Feb-2018
    You;'re very welcome. Take care
    Cookie
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018
    Thanks so much for the review. The eyes caught me, too.
reply by misscookie on 08-Feb-2018
    You're very welcome.
    Cookie
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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This is a very well written 3-5-3 poem you have penned for the writing prompt. You used very good wording and great notes. I pray your eyes do well my friend! Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
    Thank you, Teri.
Comment from Sherman541
Excellent
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I cannot imagine not being able to see and thus the only thing you can see is black inky air. This is a perfect poem 3/5/3 Air poem. Good Luck and Best Wishes in the Contest! Sherman541

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2018

reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
    Thanks for understanding and for the review.
reply by Sherman541 on 06-Feb-2018
    you are welcome