I dream...
I ponder93 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi anon, well written poem with good rhyme that follows the requirements for the contest. Good use of metaphor in stanza one - 'I dream of Earth not clothed in hate,' also 'on endless night would evil dine?' Very nice final line. Good picture. Good Luck and warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Hi anon, well written poem with good rhyme that follows the requirements for the contest. Good use of metaphor in stanza one - 'I dream of Earth not clothed in hate,' also 'on endless night would evil dine?' Very nice final line. Good picture. Good Luck and warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks Dorothy, for this great review and comments,
Comment from Zue65
You complied with the requirements for writing a Statement-Question Poetry contest. The theme is socially relevant and thought- provoking. The last line is a clincher ending that summarizes the message you intend for the readers. Thanks for sharing an excellent write.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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You complied with the requirements for writing a Statement-Question Poetry contest. The theme is socially relevant and thought- provoking. The last line is a clincher ending that summarizes the message you intend for the readers. Thanks for sharing an excellent write.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks, for this great review and comments,
Comment from CD Richards
Nice work with this. It is an important question you raise - perhaps *the* important question.
I question the line "on someone who in whom hope sings". The word who seems grammatically unnecessary, although from a meter point of view it serves a purpose. Maybe something like "on one above in whom hope sings" would work, or "on one divine in whom hope sings"?
Good rhyme and meter good choice of topic. Best of luck with it - Craig
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Nice work with this. It is an important question you raise - perhaps *the* important question.
I question the line "on someone who in whom hope sings". The word who seems grammatically unnecessary, although from a meter point of view it serves a purpose. Maybe something like "on one above in whom hope sings" would work, or "on one divine in whom hope sings"?
Good rhyme and meter good choice of topic. Best of luck with it - Craig
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks Craig, for this great review and comments, thanks for the suggestion, I didn't want it to sound specific.
Comment from Sugarray77
Excellent! You have written a wonderful poem full of thoughtful descriptions. Your verses are well-written and convey your message clearly. Thanks for sharing this with us. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Excellent! You have written a wonderful poem full of thoughtful descriptions. Your verses are well-written and convey your message clearly. Thanks for sharing this with us. Well done.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks, for this great review and comments,
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
I'm not familiar with the format but I can see you have used the first stanza to make a clear statement and the second stanza asks a very pertinent question.
The topic is clear and relevent today.
I say well done.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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I'm not familiar with the format but I can see you have used the first stanza to make a clear statement and the second stanza asks a very pertinent question.
The topic is clear and relevent today.
I say well done.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks Shirley, for this great review and comments,
Comment from James H. Oldfield
Excellent, really nice in both message and delivery.
Only personal preference, but line three I'd have used capital letters for 'moon' and 'sun' (whilst both can be generic terms, in this instance they're being used as proper nouns).
The third line of stanza two, the use of 'who' and 'whom' so close together left one feeling rather redundant. How about: 'on one in whom our hope still sings --'? ('pure hope' or 'all hope' may also work, if you'd not wanted to imply human possession of it). Your choice, obviously.
Great work, a very good poem indeed.
Take care.
-James
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Excellent, really nice in both message and delivery.
Only personal preference, but line three I'd have used capital letters for 'moon' and 'sun' (whilst both can be generic terms, in this instance they're being used as proper nouns).
The third line of stanza two, the use of 'who' and 'whom' so close together left one feeling rather redundant. How about: 'on one in whom our hope still sings --'? ('pure hope' or 'all hope' may also work, if you'd not wanted to imply human possession of it). Your choice, obviously.
Great work, a very good poem indeed.
Take care.
-James
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks James, I put a parenthesis in "in whom" I take your point about Sun and Moon.. Thanks for your gracious review,
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Yes, that works. And a delightfully poetic response :) -James
Comment from Dutchie
Such a wonderful poem. I think we all ponder... I hope there will be peace someday, that somebody stands up to rescue us... Is there still hope??? I hope so.
I love the subject. Poem has a smooth flow of words and exellent rhyme. Really beautiful. Fia
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Such a wonderful poem. I think we all ponder... I hope there will be peace someday, that somebody stands up to rescue us... Is there still hope??? I hope so.
I love the subject. Poem has a smooth flow of words and exellent rhyme. Really beautiful. Fia
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks Fia for your review and comments
Comment from misscookie
I love the artwork you choose to go with your poem
It is a perfect match
You captured my attention from the start
Now I no longer have a troubling Heart
Thank you for sharing
Cookie
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reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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I love the artwork you choose to go with your poem
It is a perfect match
You captured my attention from the start
Now I no longer have a troubling Heart
Thank you for sharing
Cookie
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Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks Cookie, for your review and comments
Comment from tfawcus
An interesting philosophical question and answer. Can the source of all creation and love defeat the petty hatreds of mankind? The eternal struggle between heaven and hell, which I think - being an optimist - can have only one eventual outcome!
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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An interesting philosophical question and answer. Can the source of all creation and love defeat the petty hatreds of mankind? The eternal struggle between heaven and hell, which I think - being an optimist - can have only one eventual outcome!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks Tony, for your review and comments
Comment from Ursula1
This is a good theme and it is so true. We often wonder what this world is coming to. Unfortunately, there is so much evil, but hopefully, God will send His healing powers. Good writing and rhyme scheme. Good luck in your contest!
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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This is a good theme and it is so true. We often wonder what this world is coming to. Unfortunately, there is so much evil, but hopefully, God will send His healing powers. Good writing and rhyme scheme. Good luck in your contest!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2018
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Thanks Ursula, for your review and comments
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You are welcome:)
