Vegas Secrets
Lady assassin brooks no ignominy.17 total reviews
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly fine.
Dr Ricky 1024.Later today
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
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This was well written with great theme and imagery.
It flowed well and read well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content was aligned well with Objective Content and Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly fine.
Dr Ricky 1024.Later today
Comment Written 20-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for reading "Vegas Secrets," Ricky, and your kind praise. Rod
Comment from giraffmang
Nice piece for the competition. Good main character and excellent tone throughout.
Suddenly he stomped on the brakes, swung the car to the shoulder, and turned off the engine." - delete the errant speech mark from the end here.
and pointed at his startled face. - you might need 'it' here after pointed.
Shame she's probably going to need a new car to top it all off too.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Nice piece for the competition. Good main character and excellent tone throughout.
Suddenly he stomped on the brakes, swung the car to the shoulder, and turned off the engine." - delete the errant speech mark from the end here.
and pointed at his startled face. - you might need 'it' here after pointed.
Shame she's probably going to need a new car to top it all off too.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Many thanks for taking a look at ?Vegas Secrets,? GMG. As always,I appreciate your close reading and heads-up regarding my boo boos. Rod
Comment from sandragee
In Vegas it's all about being smart, and leaving the table when ahead. Unfortunately Moe Asher is not smart. Also he is not polite. He insults Corrine. With the line 'Nobody calls me 'Bitch' and lives' she teaches him about manners, and her method is deadly.
A well-written story with a great first paragraph and great flash ending.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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In Vegas it's all about being smart, and leaving the table when ahead. Unfortunately Moe Asher is not smart. Also he is not polite. He insults Corrine. With the line 'Nobody calls me 'Bitch' and lives' she teaches him about manners, and her method is deadly.
A well-written story with a great first paragraph and great flash ending.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2018
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Your plot summary of my 500-word story is terrific. I am delighted you enjoyed it. Many thanks for your high praise. Rod
Comment from FxstsLisa
Nice entry for this contest. I thought it was well-written and interesting, keeping my attention till the end. Your dialogue also was executed well. Best of luck, and have a nice evening!
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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Nice entry for this contest. I thought it was well-written and interesting, keeping my attention till the end. Your dialogue also was executed well. Best of luck, and have a nice evening!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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Thank you for sharing ?Vegas Secrets? and your kind praise. I am especially pleased you enjoyed it. Rod
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good story for its genre. Not one of my favorite kind of stories, but it is verywell written and it held my attention. What more can anyone ask for? :)
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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Good story for its genre. Not one of my favorite kind of stories, but it is verywell written and it held my attention. What more can anyone ask for? :)
Comment Written 17-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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I appreciate your reading ?Vegas Secrets,? Phyllis, even though you are not a fan of the genre. Many thanks for your kind praise. Rod
Comment from Sis Cat
An excellent and surprising piece from you about a lady assassin. Story taps into women's revenge fantasies about getting even with men who sexually harass them. Story is topical for this reason as I thought about former Alabama Senator Roy Moore assaulting underage women. Here, the #MeToo Movement merges with Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry. Although Corinne is technically a murderer if not a serial killer, the reader cheers for her and forgives her buried Las Vegas secrets.
The prose is clean without any errors I can discern. Story plays like a movie. It is visual. It is straight and to the point:
"Nobody calls me 'Bitch' and lives."
The bullet went through his open mouth.
For a flash fiction this is compelling and well crafted.
I only found these errors in your author's notes for "Hit Me": â??Hit Me.â??
Thank you for sharing and I wish you contest success with this fine entry.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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An excellent and surprising piece from you about a lady assassin. Story taps into women's revenge fantasies about getting even with men who sexually harass them. Story is topical for this reason as I thought about former Alabama Senator Roy Moore assaulting underage women. Here, the #MeToo Movement merges with Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry. Although Corinne is technically a murderer if not a serial killer, the reader cheers for her and forgives her buried Las Vegas secrets.
The prose is clean without any errors I can discern. Story plays like a movie. It is visual. It is straight and to the point:
"Nobody calls me 'Bitch' and lives."
The bullet went through his open mouth.
For a flash fiction this is compelling and well crafted.
I only found these errors in your author's notes for "Hit Me": â??Hit Me.â??
Thank you for sharing and I wish you contest success with this fine entry.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for this exceptional review, Sis Cat. You told me everything I wanted to know. Rod
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, this is exceptional - unfortunately, I am out of sixes, but you built the tension perfectly, the pacing flawless, the dialogue and characters realistic. Even your descriptions were fitting, and the plot is delicious.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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Wow, this is exceptional - unfortunately, I am out of sixes, but you built the tension perfectly, the pacing flawless, the dialogue and characters realistic. Even your descriptions were fitting, and the plot is delicious.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback and the virtual six. Rod
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It was my pleasure.
Comment from Thesis
LOL, a woman after my own heart. Don't ever take shit from a sleeze bag! I love this post, In today's world, do you really believe that you can get away with this shit? I don't think so. Boom, welcome to 2018!
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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LOL, a woman after my own heart. Don't ever take shit from a sleeze bag! I love this post, In today's world, do you really believe that you can get away with this shit? I don't think so. Boom, welcome to 2018!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2018
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Well, Corinne does find a way to get away with murder. Have you read ?Hit Me? yet? Thanks so much for sharing ?Vegas Secrets.? Rod
Comment from lyenochka
I guess that may the fantasy of every woman who's been sexually abused. However, I doubt anyone relishes having to do such a cleanup of a car's interior. Sounds almost believable and scary how unemotional the narrator comes across.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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I guess that may the fantasy of every woman who's been sexually abused. However, I doubt anyone relishes having to do such a cleanup of a car's interior. Sounds almost believable and scary how unemotional the narrator comes across.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much, lyenochka, for your kind praise of ?Vegas Secrets.? I am especially pleased you think La Tigre?s actions are plausible. Rod
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh my goodness! This is well written as far as I can tell. You had me glued to the page. You described everything well. I've been to Vegas so know a little bit of the area. The gun scene at the end was so brutal, vivid, and cold. I'm guessing we'll be reading more of this character in the future.
Best wishes in the contest. I have seen some amazing contest entries. This one is incredible.
Sincerely Joy xx
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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Oh my goodness! This is well written as far as I can tell. You had me glued to the page. You described everything well. I've been to Vegas so know a little bit of the area. The gun scene at the end was so brutal, vivid, and cold. I'm guessing we'll be reading more of this character in the future.
Best wishes in the contest. I have seen some amazing contest entries. This one is incredible.
Sincerely Joy xx
Comment Written 16-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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Hi Joy. I am overwhelmed by your effusive praise of ?Vegas Secrets.? Many, many thanks for your great review and those six bright stars. Rod
