The Inner Court
A romantic tale.7 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
Nice! So far, this is the best entry I have read for this contest on the forgotten rose. It is sweet and romantic and dear. I wish you much good luck in the voting! Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Dear Mystery Writer,
Nice! So far, this is the best entry I have read for this contest on the forgotten rose. It is sweet and romantic and dear. I wish you much good luck in the voting! Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much!
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Thanks so much!
Comment from Joy Graham
Hello Mystery Author,
This is a fun contest. I enjoyed your story, and got lost in it towards the end. Lost in a good way. Lots of ooohs and ahhhhhhs. Sigh, smile :) This is a t errific contest entry and I wish you well with it.
A few things I thought of while reading your story. You are the ultimate author and decide if these thoughts are for you or not.
- "Lady Judith walked slowly..." - walk is one of the many words writers are encouraged to avoid. Maybe you could say she strolled or sauntered. It's all part of the show don't tell thing. I used my thesauras to find alternative words to bring the action to life.
Pinterest has a whole bunch of suggestions for replacing the words to avoid. I just search under writing and there is an abundance of them.
- "She was looking for the rose she had dropped." - Look is another one of those words to avoid. Maybe you could say She searched for the rose she had dropped.
Sincerely Joy xx
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Hello Mystery Author,
This is a fun contest. I enjoyed your story, and got lost in it towards the end. Lost in a good way. Lots of ooohs and ahhhhhhs. Sigh, smile :) This is a t errific contest entry and I wish you well with it.
A few things I thought of while reading your story. You are the ultimate author and decide if these thoughts are for you or not.
- "Lady Judith walked slowly..." - walk is one of the many words writers are encouraged to avoid. Maybe you could say she strolled or sauntered. It's all part of the show don't tell thing. I used my thesauras to find alternative words to bring the action to life.
Pinterest has a whole bunch of suggestions for replacing the words to avoid. I just search under writing and there is an abundance of them.
- "She was looking for the rose she had dropped." - Look is another one of those words to avoid. Maybe you could say She searched for the rose she had dropped.
Sincerely Joy xx
Comment Written 09-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much, Joy. This is my first attempt at writing romance and I?m just terrible. I knew I hadn?t developed a smooth narrative, but didn?t know what to improve. I really appreciate your comments and will use them if I ever do this again. Regards!
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Thanks so much, Joy. This is my first attempt at writing romance and I?m just terrible. I knew I hadn?t developed a smooth narrative, but didn?t know what to improve. I really appreciate your comments and will use them if I ever do this again. Regards!
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Thanks so much, Joy. This is my first attempt at writing romance and I?m just terrible. I knew I hadn?t developed a smooth narrative, but didn?t know what to improve. I really appreciate your comments and will use them if I ever do this again. Regards!
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Thanks so much, Joy. This is my first attempt at writing romance and I?m just terrible. I knew I hadn?t developed a smooth narrative, but didn?t know what to improve. I really appreciate your comments and will use them if I ever do this again. Regards!
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Thanks so much, Joy. This is my first attempt at writing romance and I?m just terrible. I knew I hadn?t developed a smooth narrative, but didn?t know what to improve. I really appreciate your comments and will use them if I ever do this again. Regards!
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Don't give up. We all have to start somewhere. I think you have a fine entry. I'm no expert, but I keep practicing in hopes of getting better.
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Thank you.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
How romantic. Must be nice to be a princess living in a castle and having a handsome knight want to marry you. Guess I'll never know. Castles are cold and drafty in the winter, though. Don't think I'd like that much. And knights are always off fighting somewhere. He'd never be home. :)
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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How romantic. Must be nice to be a princess living in a castle and having a handsome knight want to marry you. Guess I'll never know. Castles are cold and drafty in the winter, though. Don't think I'd like that much. And knights are always off fighting somewhere. He'd never be home. :)
Comment Written 09-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks for your review. I appreciate it. My first attempt at romance writing and I?m just terrible. I think I?ll stick with poetry. Regards!
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Don't say that. You did a great job. I found it romantic. Can't speak for others, but it worked for me. :)
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Good interpretation of the given picture for this competition, The use of language and the tone matches the story being told well.
"May I wear your colors in the tournament" he asked her? - the question mark should be inside the speech marks ideally.
and tied it around is forearm - his.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Hi there,
Good interpretation of the given picture for this competition, The use of language and the tone matches the story being told well.
"May I wear your colors in the tournament" he asked her? - the question mark should be inside the speech marks ideally.
and tied it around is forearm - his.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for the review and comments. I appreciate it!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Well said, well done, a life promise exchange write; a promising submission for the forgotten rose writing prompt contest, good luck to you. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2018
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Well said, well done, a life promise exchange write; a promising submission for the forgotten rose writing prompt contest, good luck to you. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much!
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Thanks so much!
Comment from apky
I'm swooning and smelling the roses and seeing the full moon. What a wonderfully gallant and tantalising romatic story. I'm a fool for romance, especially the ones that involve protracted courtship, walks with a well-mannered gent whose intentions are too dang honourable. A knight who can fight like a savage but knows to pick me a rose for a walk in the inner court, where he promptly gets so deep under my skin to read my deepest wished...
I told you I'm swooning.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2018
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I'm swooning and smelling the roses and seeing the full moon. What a wonderfully gallant and tantalising romatic story. I'm a fool for romance, especially the ones that involve protracted courtship, walks with a well-mannered gent whose intentions are too dang honourable. A knight who can fight like a savage but knows to pick me a rose for a walk in the inner court, where he promptly gets so deep under my skin to read my deepest wished...
I told you I'm swooning.
Excellent.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2018
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Hahaha. Thanks for the great review. It?s my first romance story and I?m terribly awkward handling this subject. I appreciate your positive attitude toward a beginner?s attempt. Regards!
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good submission for the 'The Forgotten Rose' writing prompt.
Well done, your story is well told. A good match for the picture.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2018
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I think this is a good submission for the 'The Forgotten Rose' writing prompt.
Well done, your story is well told. A good match for the picture.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2018
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Thanks so much for the review.
