haiku (sparrow)
haiku contest9 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the haiku writing prompt.
Good message, well told in your few words.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
  |
I think this is a good entry for the haiku writing prompt.
Good message, well told in your few words.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 07-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
-
Thank you for the lovely review
Comment from kiwigirl2821
This one is a good Haiku and I loved the satori moment in this one. We do not get the icy freezes like this anymore as we are on the coast however, I've seen this and you have it described spot on! xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
|
This one is a good Haiku and I loved the satori moment in this one. We do not get the icy freezes like this anymore as we are on the coast however, I've seen this and you have it described spot on! xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 07-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
-
Thank you for this lovely review. This is exactly the kind of review I was looking for
Comment from Dean Kuch
sparrow hunkers down
on slick glassy grey branch
survivor
I don't care much for enjambment when used in haiku poetry, Anonymous Poet. However, it is just a personal preference of mine.
Had I written this, it would have been written something like your revised haiku above. The 5-6-3 syllable count is still well within haiku limits of seventeen syllables, or less.
But, I didn't write this, you did. It is your poem to do with as you please.
Best of luck.
~Dean
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
|
sparrow hunkers down
on slick glassy grey branch
survivor
I don't care much for enjambment when used in haiku poetry, Anonymous Poet. However, it is just a personal preference of mine.
Had I written this, it would have been written something like your revised haiku above. The 5-6-3 syllable count is still well within haiku limits of seventeen syllables, or less.
But, I didn't write this, you did. It is your poem to do with as you please.
Best of luck.
~Dean
Comment Written 06-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
-
thank you
-
You're welcome.
Comment from oliver818
I like this haiku, especially the word hunkered. I really got a sense of the sparrow in winter struggling to survive. Thanks for sharing this and have a really great day
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
|
I like this haiku, especially the word hunkered. I really got a sense of the sparrow in winter struggling to survive. Thanks for sharing this and have a really great day
Comment Written 06-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
-
thank you
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good image and presentation.
-Syllable count is good.
-Good nature and seasonal imagery.
-The second line paints a vivid picture
to emphasize the cold.
-Good satori.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
|
-Good image and presentation.
-Syllable count is good.
-Good nature and seasonal imagery.
-The second line paints a vivid picture
to emphasize the cold.
-Good satori.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
-
thanks
-
You are welcome.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Tiny is not ignorable, observation and existence is equally important; this is a fine related Nature Haiku writing prompt entry, wish you good luck to the contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
|
Tiny is not ignorable, observation and existence is equally important; this is a fine related Nature Haiku writing prompt entry, wish you good luck to the contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 06-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
-
Thank you for this lovely review.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written nature haiku about the little sparrow on the icy branch. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
|
This is a very well written nature haiku about the little sparrow on the icy branch. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 06-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
-
Thank you
Comment from Lulube
Good imagery for this haiku. good description for the final summing up line. this is a well thought out haiku and good luck with it in the contest
lulube
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
|
Good imagery for this haiku. good description for the final summing up line. this is a well thought out haiku and good luck with it in the contest
lulube
Comment Written 06-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
-
Thank you for taking the time to review.
-
welcome
lulube
Comment from mermaids
Sparrows are survivors. Your haiku creates a picture of nature and shows the strength of the tiny sparrow. Excellent use of words and I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
|
Sparrows are survivors. Your haiku creates a picture of nature and shows the strength of the tiny sparrow. Excellent use of words and I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018
-
Thank you for the lovely review
