Legend Chasers
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Back at the Farm."An old man retells stories of fighting monsters.
26 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Padna.
Sorry again for my delayed reviews.
"Nara looked around and saw a cozy bed, complete with a fluffy pink comforter," (I just got out of mine, but, mine is more like a giant bed with a tiny, spread-eagled, jumping kwala.)
"I do, they're exquisite. Are they portrayals of scenes from this area. (-. +?)"
***
"Mr. B? What's the B short for, Bull?"
"No, Ma'am, Bastard." (Hahahaha! Well played.)
***
"Could this place get any more yokel?" (Maybe italicize this line.)
"In an odd sort of way, she couldn't help from hoping there was" (Drop the "from" out of this line... I think.)
A very nice intro to the facility and beautifully descriptive and written. I know she's there to mend a damaged heart, but, I get a slight sense of romance in the air between her and Hank. Bring it on.
Great job and the Princes Baboy/Jumping kwala and the little serial pest say "kumusta."
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2018
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G'day Padna.
Sorry again for my delayed reviews.
"Nara looked around and saw a cozy bed, complete with a fluffy pink comforter," (I just got out of mine, but, mine is more like a giant bed with a tiny, spread-eagled, jumping kwala.)
"I do, they're exquisite. Are they portrayals of scenes from this area. (-. +?)"
***
"Mr. B? What's the B short for, Bull?"
"No, Ma'am, Bastard." (Hahahaha! Well played.)
***
"Could this place get any more yokel?" (Maybe italicize this line.)
"In an odd sort of way, she couldn't help from hoping there was" (Drop the "from" out of this line... I think.)
A very nice intro to the facility and beautifully descriptive and written. I know she's there to mend a damaged heart, but, I get a slight sense of romance in the air between her and Hank. Bring it on.
Great job and the Princes Baboy/Jumping kwala and the little serial pest say "kumusta."
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 11-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Padna, for the wonderful review.
It's so good to hear from you, and by default, the beautiful jumping Kwalas!
Thanks for the detailed review. You are so good at editing, you should do it for a living. Hey, there's lots of money to be made in it.
Of course, there's a lot of money to be made in being a writer as well. And, I've heard you have a blockbuster on its way.
Tell the gals Howdy for me!
Cowgirl
Comment from MelB
Hi Rhonda, it reminds me a little bit of the movie City Slickers with leaving the big apple and heading to Texas. Great artwork too! I look forward to the next one.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
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Hi Rhonda, it reminds me a little bit of the movie City Slickers with leaving the big apple and heading to Texas. Great artwork too! I look forward to the next one.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
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Thank you for the review! It'll turn around pretty quickly. Just setting the stage!
Take care,
Rhonda
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You're welcome.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Rhonda. You've painted a realistic picture of a New Yorker relocating to the south. I was one of those people at one point. Big city folks misread country folks who tolerate them until they "fit in." I like the comment about liking someone first. That's the name of the game. The joke in Tennessee was: "What's the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee?" Answer: The Damn Yankee stays. Marilyn
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
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Hi Rhonda. You've painted a realistic picture of a New Yorker relocating to the south. I was one of those people at one point. Big city folks misread country folks who tolerate them until they "fit in." I like the comment about liking someone first. That's the name of the game. The joke in Tennessee was: "What's the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee?" Answer: The Damn Yankee stays. Marilyn
Comment Written 10-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2018
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That is too funny!! I'll have to tell that one to my husband, Wayne. I'm from the South, but my husband and his family are all farmers. They've been amazingly tolerant of me!
Thanks for the review, my friend!
Rhonda
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Hi Rhonda. Yes that was the joke when we lived in TN for 8 years. Told the job straight to our faces and laughed like the dickens. So did we. it's a good job. Marilyn
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I just told my husband and his mother. They were like, "Aren't they all Damn Yankees?" And there we go... the stereotypical southerner goes on.
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That's funny.
Comment from F. Wehr3
I think the story is progressing nicely. I didn't notice anything in this part. I'm not sure where this story is going, more toward romance or a mystery or scifi even, lol. But I'm interested to see where you take this.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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I think the story is progressing nicely. I didn't notice anything in this part. I'm not sure where this story is going, more toward romance or a mystery or scifi even, lol. But I'm interested to see where you take this.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 09-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Russell. It's a short piece, but the action is about to change, and I didn't want to change the direction in the middle of the chapter. It'll start coming together pretty quickly. Thanks for reading and reviewing, Russell!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Rhonda,
It's a nice piece in continuation having smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
What I like most is: The description of 'Mr. B' ; Hank and Nara episode - their dialogues; and the end working as a hook.
Interesting!
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Hello Rhonda,
It's a nice piece in continuation having smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
What I like most is: The description of 'Mr. B' ; Hank and Nara episode - their dialogues; and the end working as a hook.
Interesting!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thank you for the beautiful stars, and for telling me what works out for you. It was a sort of short piece, but it would have been too long to put the next action in.
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
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Rhonda, Most Welcome!
~ RP
Comment from Pam (respa)
-The artwork is great.
-We get a better look at
the place Nara will be staying,
and are as surprised as she is
about her room, complete with
lovely paintings.
-Nara is not sure about Hank, either.
-He represents customs of the south,
and she doesn't quite understand them.
-But, she does notice his eyes!
-It will be interesting to see how
the story develops, Rhonda.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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-The artwork is great.
-We get a better look at
the place Nara will be staying,
and are as surprised as she is
about her room, complete with
lovely paintings.
-Nara is not sure about Hank, either.
-He represents customs of the south,
and she doesn't quite understand them.
-But, she does notice his eyes!
-It will be interesting to see how
the story develops, Rhonda.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thank you for the wonderful review, Pam.
Yes, we kind of have a contrast in cultures here. Nara is damaged right now, and she has no idea how to deal with the Southern charms.
She does start to notice a few things about him, though. She is, after all, human.
Thanks for the brilliant sparkling stars. They are greatly appreciated.
Take care,
Rhonda
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. It is a well drawn contrast, but as you said, Nara can still notice him, and why not?!
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Too true!
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Agreed!
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda
I think what's more in that town than meets the eye is the picture of Hank in your post
Now, how could Nara find fault with him?
And I'll bet old Riley is a regular Charlie Daniels on the fiddle, too,
only here the devil went down to West Texas.
Seems like it's what's on the inside that counts in Sagerton
and that's a good thing.
And Mr. B will make an appearance somewhere in this story.
Excellent second chapter to continue the story.
Well done.
RS
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Hello Rhonda
I think what's more in that town than meets the eye is the picture of Hank in your post
Now, how could Nara find fault with him?
And I'll bet old Riley is a regular Charlie Daniels on the fiddle, too,
only here the devil went down to West Texas.
Seems like it's what's on the inside that counts in Sagerton
and that's a good thing.
And Mr. B will make an appearance somewhere in this story.
Excellent second chapter to continue the story.
Well done.
RS
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thank you for the beautiful stars, Robert.
Yes, much more than meets the eyes.
Mr. B has his charms, just like the town, but ya gotta watch out for him...
Funny you should mention Charlie Daniels. Hmmm, Devil just might show up, but then that's Dean's job. haha.
Thank you again, and take care,
Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. This is starting to sound like a most intriguing story. the dialogue is very good and carries the reader into the story and makes it believable. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Excellent. This is starting to sound like a most intriguing story. the dialogue is very good and carries the reader into the story and makes it believable. Nicely done.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much for reviewing, and leaving helpful comments. Both are always appreciated, my friend.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from mbroyles2
Well done getting us even more familiar with Nara and Hank.
I like his comment about liking someone first then developing an opinion.
Good words to live by.
You set the scene well.
Michael
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
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Well done getting us even more familiar with Nara and Hank.
I like his comment about liking someone first then developing an opinion.
Good words to live by.
You set the scene well.
Michael
Comment Written 07-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much, Michael, for the wonderful six star rating.
Yes, it's a good policy to like someone first. Hard to follow!
Thank you for your comments and review.
Have a great week,
Rhonda
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Rhonda;
This storyline continues to intrigue me. Why did she leave New York and venture to this area in Texas? What will she learn about herself?
I like the way you are developing these characters. The slow descriptions are given to us by sharing the thoughts of other characters and actions.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
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Hi, Rhonda;
This storyline continues to intrigue me. Why did she leave New York and venture to this area in Texas? What will she learn about herself?
I like the way you are developing these characters. The slow descriptions are given to us by sharing the thoughts of other characters and actions.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 07-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Patty. My characters will develop slowly. They will face other issues and trials before working things out. I do appreciate you!
Rhonda
