Spider and the Fly
A fable38 total reviews
Comment from GLOBALEYES
Great story. Kept me enthralled from beginning to end. Excellent coverage of both points of view. The rhyme pattern was kept throughout. Even had a little character lesson in there. Kudos. Well deserved, Betty Davis
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
  |
Great story. Kept me enthralled from beginning to end. Excellent coverage of both points of view. The rhyme pattern was kept throughout. Even had a little character lesson in there. Kudos. Well deserved, Betty Davis
Comment Written 01-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
-
Thank you for your time and kind review.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is just so clever. It is full of suspended horror without the blood and gore that gets in the way in a lot of horror work. The feeling of threat that begins to hang over us at the half way point where the direction changes is masterful.
"As darkness descends
the web disappears,
and the pregnant twilight
fills with hunger and fear.
And just like the kitten
in its saucer of milk,
the wings of the fly
twist into the silk."
I don't think there is any escape for the fly this time.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
|
This is just so clever. It is full of suspended horror without the blood and gore that gets in the way in a lot of horror work. The feeling of threat that begins to hang over us at the half way point where the direction changes is masterful.
"As darkness descends
the web disappears,
and the pregnant twilight
fills with hunger and fear.
And just like the kitten
in its saucer of milk,
the wings of the fly
twist into the silk."
I don't think there is any escape for the fly this time.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
-
Thank you, your kind words and praise mean alot.
Comment from nancyrabbrose
Wow. That is a good poem. Well constructed, intriguing, mysterious and entertaining. I can understand the small influences of Kuch and RGstar. I agree, the illustration fits your poem perfectly. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
 |
Wow. That is a good poem. Well constructed, intriguing, mysterious and entertaining. I can understand the small influences of Kuch and RGstar. I agree, the illustration fits your poem perfectly. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
-
Six stars!!! Wow, thank you!
Comment from c_lucas
We tend to be distracted and ignore the dangers life presents to us on a daily basis. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
|
We tend to be distracted and ignore the dangers life presents to us on a daily basis. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
-
Thank you, your kind words and praise mean alot.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Cheryl I
This was quite fun to read. I liked "living the thrill of being the hunted, and dodging the kill." The rhyming is great, and I think you did a nice job on this. Cheryl
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
|
This was quite fun to read. I liked "living the thrill of being the hunted, and dodging the kill." The rhyming is great, and I think you did a nice job on this. Cheryl
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
-
Thank you for your time and lovely review.
Comment from victor 66
This is a very nice, light and easy to read poem. It flowed very well and I think it's quite a gift to be able to write in such away that the reader, once starting to read, finds it difficult to stop. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
|
This is a very nice, light and easy to read poem. It flowed very well and I think it's quite a gift to be able to write in such away that the reader, once starting to read, finds it difficult to stop. Well done.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
-
Thank you for your time and lovely review.
-
You are most welcome.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello,
Cool poem. I really got into the beat, measure, and rhyme! You could write a children's book with this. The best is rhyme's. I try to write books for children, but they are more story form. You did well.
I have one suggestion. Please use a larger font to aid in reading it. :D TY, :)
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
|
Hello,
Cool poem. I really got into the beat, measure, and rhyme! You could write a children's book with this. The best is rhyme's. I try to write books for children, but they are more story form. You did well.
I have one suggestion. Please use a larger font to aid in reading it. :D TY, :)
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
-
Thanks for your time and lovely review.
Comment from Brooklinn
I don't give 6's too freely, but I thoroughly enjoyed this piece! The words chosen provide a very vivid imagery. The dialogue added a lot, as well, and the rhyming was terrific. Altogether, the poem had a wonderful flow to it. One of my favs so far. I look forward to reading more of your work.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
|
I don't give 6's too freely, but I thoroughly enjoyed this piece! The words chosen provide a very vivid imagery. The dialogue added a lot, as well, and the rhyming was terrific. Altogether, the poem had a wonderful flow to it. One of my favs so far. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
-
A six! Thanks so much! I am elated that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I would hope if it was me, I would be the spider. At least he has a purpose in life ... killing the fly! lol. What a brilliant little poem, bouncy, and fun. But, which one was writing this? Hmm, I'm not sure. Well done, it was a fun piece of poetry. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
|
I would hope if it was me, I would be the spider. At least he has a purpose in life ... killing the fly! lol. What a brilliant little poem, bouncy, and fun. But, which one was writing this? Hmm, I'm not sure. Well done, it was a fun piece of poetry. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
-
Thank you for your time and lovely review.
Comment from Writeling
Oooh, this is a real surprise and a treat. I really like your rhyming skills and the message fed through the poem
I will look for more of your work.
Writeling
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
|
Oooh, this is a real surprise and a treat. I really like your rhyming skills and the message fed through the poem
I will look for more of your work.
Writeling
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
-
I am honored by the six star review. Thank you very much!
