Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Secrets and Betrayal/Part Two"A Novel of the Breedline Series
6 total reviews
Comment from ngage
This second part of secrets and betrayal kept me intrigued from the beginning and captivated me until the end.
Superb writing! You have a very talented mind for creating this fantasy world. Your characters are well described and seem real. The storyline flows without flaw. I think you have a winner here Shana.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
  |
This second part of secrets and betrayal kept me intrigued from the beginning and captivated me until the end.
Superb writing! You have a very talented mind for creating this fantasy world. Your characters are well described and seem real. The storyline flows without flaw. I think you have a winner here Shana.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
-
Thank you my dear friend :)
You're feedback is always inspiring to hear. I am so lucky to have you following my story. Words can't express enough how much it means to me. Thanks so much!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Rasmine
Hello,
I'm giving a four because I couldn't finish this. There is nothing wrong with your writing; it is just too long. Maybe you could put spaces between your paragraphs too, and make your chapters shorter or cut them up. You may not get a lot of reviews.
Your writing is good, I would like to read it, just make it shorter so I'm not here reading only yours for twenty minutes plus.
Please don't be offended, just trying to help. :)
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
 |
Hello,
I'm giving a four because I couldn't finish this. There is nothing wrong with your writing; it is just too long. Maybe you could put spaces between your paragraphs too, and make your chapters shorter or cut them up. You may not get a lot of reviews.
Your writing is good, I would like to read it, just make it shorter so I'm not here reading only yours for twenty minutes plus.
Please don't be offended, just trying to help. :)
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
-
That's fine, but please do not click on my chapters if you do not have the time just to get the points.
-
I am just letting you know, because that is a given here. No one likes to read something long -- I learned that when I posted a whole chapter of a book long writing of mine for the first thing I did on here. Just trying to help, but if you don't want it -- okay.
-
If you don't like reading long chapters... then don't read anyone that is writing a Novel. Most chapters are between 4 to 7 pages. And especially don't rate it if you don't read the whole chapter. Just click off and move on to short stories or poetry. Thanks!
Comment from Sugarray77
Fascinating and cleverly written. The plot thickens and strengthens. secrets are coming out. Character development is good and strong. Well done. Regards.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
|
Fascinating and cleverly written. The plot thickens and strengthens. secrets are coming out. Character development is good and strong. Well done. Regards.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
-
Thank you! :)
You are so kind. This chapter was fun to write. I was happy to bring Lilith 'good' side to the reader. I think everyone was believing her to be the villain, but actually she is a product of her environment and put through a tortured past. Stay tuned... more Breedline adventures to come.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
Apart from God Himself, a mother's love has to, by necessity of creation's very purpose, be the strongest thing in the universe, as, I think you've also perceived, all things don't matter, only love. So there's somebody more dangerous than Lilith, I wonder what power Crane possesses? Good interpretation of the German written accent, (there's a dear old German Christian man we give a lift to church, who sounds just like that) things are hotting up, lids are coming off, great episode Shana, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
 |
Apart from God Himself, a mother's love has to, by necessity of creation's very purpose, be the strongest thing in the universe, as, I think you've also perceived, all things don't matter, only love. So there's somebody more dangerous than Lilith, I wonder what power Crane possesses? Good interpretation of the German written accent, (there's a dear old German Christian man we give a lift to church, who sounds just like that) things are hotting up, lids are coming off, great episode Shana, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
-
Thank you, Roy :)
This was a good chapter to write. I think all my readers believed Lilith to be the villain when actually she is not. She's a product of her tortured past, but her love for her children brings her back.
Now all she has to do is rid the world of Dr. Hubert Crane and all the evil backing him up. Hopefully the Breedline will be at her side fighting the battle against the dark side.
Your most generous ratings and words are very kind. Thank you!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
-
Excellent chapter Sbana
Comment from apky
Perfect!
Now I'm all torn up about Lilith - I'd booked her under the bad ones but it seems she had been wronged massively in her own turn by Dr Craine. But I'm over the moon that Lilith will not harm Tessa and her unborn babies.
This is so exciting this gets! I can't wait for the nex chapter.
Brilliant, darling. You can do this with great aplomb.
Ever fondly,
Aki
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
|
Perfect!
Now I'm all torn up about Lilith - I'd booked her under the bad ones but it seems she had been wronged massively in her own turn by Dr Craine. But I'm over the moon that Lilith will not harm Tessa and her unborn babies.
This is so exciting this gets! I can't wait for the nex chapter.
Brilliant, darling. You can do this with great aplomb.
Ever fondly,
Aki
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
-
Awww.... thank you! :)
This chapter was fun to write for me. I know most of the readers thought Lilith to be the villain, but in truth, she is just a product of her tortured past. The love of her children brought her back. Now all she has to do is rid the world of Dr. Crane and all his evil backings. Hopefully the Breedline will help her fight in battle against the dark side.
Thanks again!
Your fan,
Shana :)
-
You write this story brilliantly, darling. I couldn't achieve this if I tried for years.
Ever fondly,
Aki
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
In continuation, this part speaks more about the secrets, Tessa had seen her m other's agony how she bore or endured in the past for years, mother turned a different species, Tessa asked the reason of bringing her there, and now Sebastian came with an urgent talk... I liked the theme. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
|
In continuation, this part speaks more about the secrets, Tessa had seen her m other's agony how she bore or endured in the past for years, mother turned a different species, Tessa asked the reason of bringing her there, and now Sebastian came with an urgent talk... I liked the theme. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
-
Thank you, Dr. Alcreator! :)
The kind rating and inspiring feedback are very generous. I definitely appreciate this. This chapter was fun to write. Bringing the dark side over to the light is always a pleasure for me. I believe good always triumphs over evil.
Thanks again my friend,
Shana :)
