Natural Light
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Winter Sunset"contemporary poetry
14 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi There, first of all I would like to say that I'm so sorry I've come so late to read your wonderful free verse poem. It left me with a great imagery and I was very moved by your words. Happy New year. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
  |
Hi There, first of all I would like to say that I'm so sorry I've come so late to read your wonderful free verse poem. It left me with a great imagery and I was very moved by your words. Happy New year. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
-
Thanks again for the exceptional review and for all the comments supporting the poem Happy New Year! Write on! estory
Comment from robyn corum
Estory,
This was a truly lovely poem about so much more than just winter sunsets. *smile* I really, really enjoyed it. May I suggest submitting it to Rattle - the online magazine, at:
https://www.rattle.com/
Good luck!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
 |
Estory,
This was a truly lovely poem about so much more than just winter sunsets. *smile* I really, really enjoyed it. May I suggest submitting it to Rattle - the online magazine, at:
https://www.rattle.com/
Good luck!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
-
Thank you so much for the excellent review and all the comments and suggestions supporting this poem. I might check it out although I haven't had much success with editors. I am glad you enjoyed it so much and that it resonated for you. This poem was fun to write and the reviews were great, so I feel all the work was worth it estory
-
Well, it can't hurt to jump over to the site and check out some of their stuff, right? Se if you think your work might be a fit? Good luck!
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, estory: I keep saying that it is a shame that they don't let us purchase the sixes because there are some really extraordinary Poets, like you, who to me, always deserve a six. They just don't give us enough sixes. I wish that you had posted this poem on Sunday or earlier this week. This poem is so magical. It poetry took for a walk tin the cold of winter where beautiful still lingered in all the coldness. You pointed to the marvelous things that I never really looked at and I stared with awe and amazement. I tried to pick out my favorite lines but almost copied and pasted the whole poem. MAGNIFICENT! You are so amazing! I shall miss you if I move on...
These trees
Once vibrant with the richness of leaves
And the songs and color of the birds
Are nothing more than pencil lines now,
A charcoal sketch of stands of oak and beech
Whose leaves have withered and fallen,
Yet there is still light left in the sky,
Light like the light we see in stained glass windows,
Not quite moving, but telling a story,
And even more brilliant, more expansive,
As though making up for the lack of movement
And the sounds of life
By holding out a hope for us,
Defining a place, a music, a spirit
Still carrying the light of life along with it.
This flame, this fire in the sky
Casting its wavering shadows over the snow
And slowly burning down, down
Into the last embers, the warm glow,
Going softly like a dream
Before giving out to the pale, cold, stillness of the stars.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
|
Good morning, estory: I keep saying that it is a shame that they don't let us purchase the sixes because there are some really extraordinary Poets, like you, who to me, always deserve a six. They just don't give us enough sixes. I wish that you had posted this poem on Sunday or earlier this week. This poem is so magical. It poetry took for a walk tin the cold of winter where beautiful still lingered in all the coldness. You pointed to the marvelous things that I never really looked at and I stared with awe and amazement. I tried to pick out my favorite lines but almost copied and pasted the whole poem. MAGNIFICENT! You are so amazing! I shall miss you if I move on...
These trees
Once vibrant with the richness of leaves
And the songs and color of the birds
Are nothing more than pencil lines now,
A charcoal sketch of stands of oak and beech
Whose leaves have withered and fallen,
Yet there is still light left in the sky,
Light like the light we see in stained glass windows,
Not quite moving, but telling a story,
And even more brilliant, more expansive,
As though making up for the lack of movement
And the sounds of life
By holding out a hope for us,
Defining a place, a music, a spirit
Still carrying the light of life along with it.
This flame, this fire in the sky
Casting its wavering shadows over the snow
And slowly burning down, down
Into the last embers, the warm glow,
Going softly like a dream
Before giving out to the pale, cold, stillness of the stars.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
-
Thank you so much for the excellent review, and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I am glad you enjoyed it so much and I think when you make connections with readers like this, move them, it is what all the time and effort and work is all about. It makes it all worthwhile. I do hope you stay around and keep posting and adding on to the world of poetry and creative writing we have going here. Art is one of the things that seem to brighten up this dark world, and this poem was very much a poem of light, a poem of hope, a poem of spirit and beauty. estory
Comment from MSJVClarke
This is a well written ode to the sunset. I can envision the evening you speak of with the words you chose. I, too, am fond of winter sunsets and living in Mississippi, I see a lot of beauty in them. This poem expresses them well. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
|
This is a well written ode to the sunset. I can envision the evening you speak of with the words you chose. I, too, am fond of winter sunsets and living in Mississippi, I see a lot of beauty in them. This poem expresses them well. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
-
Thanks for the excellent review and all the wonderful comments supporting this poem, glad you enjoyed it so much and that it resonated for you estory
Comment from zanya
A captivating read - drawing the reader in to the color and the light and the nascent sense of life returning -beautiful imagery 'These trees........../Are nothing more than pencil lines now'
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
|
A captivating read - drawing the reader in to the color and the light and the nascent sense of life returning -beautiful imagery 'These trees........../Are nothing more than pencil lines now'
Comment Written 28-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
-
Thanks again for the exceptional review and all your support for this poem, it is much appreciated. This poem was fun to write, and it is rewarding to see it do so well estory
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written ode and appreciation of a winter sunset that is always beautiful to.look at and experience its beauty at the end of the day. With wonderful colorful hues.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
|
A very well-written ode and appreciation of a winter sunset that is always beautiful to.look at and experience its beauty at the end of the day. With wonderful colorful hues.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
-
Thank you for the excellent review and for all the wonderful comments supporting this poem glad you enjoyed it estory
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks how winter sunsets have ever fascinated you and you love watching as you love enjoying the light that sparks through trees across the world; I liked. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
|
This speaks how winter sunsets have ever fascinated you and you love watching as you love enjoying the light that sparks through trees across the world; I liked. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 28-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
-
Thank you so much for the excellent review and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem, glad you enjoyed it estory
Comment from Dean Kuch
LOvely free verse offering from you, estory. This was obviously inspired by a winter sunset.
While I enjoyed the entirety of your eloquently worded poem, a few of my favorite lines follow:
Yet there is still light left in the sky,
Light like the light we see in stained glass windows,
Not quite moving, but telling a story,
Like the bright glass between the black lines
Of the lead tracery of patterns ... I really loved the imagery here...
We stand here as if on the threshold of something,
One foot left in that silent stillness, ... Often during bouts of euphoria, I feel as if I'm on the verge of something bigger than the universe. Then, I eventually come back to reality...
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
|
LOvely free verse offering from you, estory. This was obviously inspired by a winter sunset.
While I enjoyed the entirety of your eloquently worded poem, a few of my favorite lines follow:
Yet there is still light left in the sky,
Light like the light we see in stained glass windows,
Not quite moving, but telling a story,
Like the bright glass between the black lines
Of the lead tracery of patterns ... I really loved the imagery here...
We stand here as if on the threshold of something,
One foot left in that silent stillness, ... Often during bouts of euphoria, I feel as if I'm on the verge of something bigger than the universe. Then, I eventually come back to reality...
Comment Written 28-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
-
Thank you so much for the excellent review and for all your wonderful comments supporting the poem, I am glad you enjoyed it so much and found it so compelling. Where have you been? Haven't seen much stuff from you lately...estory
-
I'm still here, and I'm still posting, LOL.
You're welcome, estory.
Happy New Year!
~Dean
Comment from rama devi
Outstanding! Exalted! Meaningful and phonetically rich. Superb flow
I love the contemplative intensity and beautiful descriptiveness. Love the metaphors and simile. Love the tone and tenor of your theme and the powerful closing line too.
Especially loved this stanza:
Burning there, between these lines of trees,
Like the flame of a spirit rising from the world,
This light catches our eyes, catches the imagination,
Lifting us with it out of the frame
And into the endless freedom of the skies.
A few minor suggestions:
*
As to when it will return. These trees(,)
Once vibrant with the richness of leaves
And the songs and color of the birds(,)
Are nothing more than pencil lines now,
More favorite lines:
One foot stepping into the space of the light,
Watching the light reverberating and expanding,
Breaking like a wave on a shore we haven't yet seen,
Shaping dreams out of what look like clouds,
Catching this color and this movement
As the wings of birds catch the wind.
*
Passed the treetops reaching after it,
PAST or PASSING but not PASSED
*
Going softly(,) like a dream(,)
Amazing closing note:
Before giving out to the pale, cold, stillness of the stars.
Thanks for such a beautiful poem!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
|
Outstanding! Exalted! Meaningful and phonetically rich. Superb flow
I love the contemplative intensity and beautiful descriptiveness. Love the metaphors and simile. Love the tone and tenor of your theme and the powerful closing line too.
Especially loved this stanza:
Burning there, between these lines of trees,
Like the flame of a spirit rising from the world,
This light catches our eyes, catches the imagination,
Lifting us with it out of the frame
And into the endless freedom of the skies.
A few minor suggestions:
*
As to when it will return. These trees(,)
Once vibrant with the richness of leaves
And the songs and color of the birds(,)
Are nothing more than pencil lines now,
More favorite lines:
One foot stepping into the space of the light,
Watching the light reverberating and expanding,
Breaking like a wave on a shore we haven't yet seen,
Shaping dreams out of what look like clouds,
Catching this color and this movement
As the wings of birds catch the wind.
*
Passed the treetops reaching after it,
PAST or PASSING but not PASSED
*
Going softly(,) like a dream(,)
Amazing closing note:
Before giving out to the pale, cold, stillness of the stars.
Thanks for such a beautiful poem!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 27-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
-
Ah, my friend, I think we are both on the same wavelength, or something, because we both seem to love this transcendental experiences, these epiphany moments, where the light and color and the moment they create seem to lift us out of ourselves and into a spiritual experience of life. This poem was fun to write, and I guess it showed, because the general concensus seems to be good. I am so appreciative of all the support you have given so many of my poems, all the wonderful comments that make me feel like I am on the right track on the journey of poetry....estory
-
Ah yes, we do ride similar epiphany currents, dear friend. And I have enjoyed witnessing your flourishing poetic voice over the years. You're one of my favorite poets here!
Warmest Smiles, rd
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a very good description of a sunset and a lovely ode.
Well done and thank you for sharing this piece with us.
Good luck and good writing to you in the new year.
Sharon
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
|
This is a very good description of a sunset and a lovely ode.
Well done and thank you for sharing this piece with us.
Good luck and good writing to you in the new year.
Sharon
Comment Written 27-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
-
Thank you so much for the excellent review and for all your wonderful comments supporting this poem estory
