Do You Remember When . . .
Practice for Writing Dialogue Between Two Brothers24 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
We all have tales to tell about our younger days. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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We all have tales to tell about our younger days. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and kind words. You have a Happy New Year.
Comment from robyn corum
Daniel,
This was a little bit more of a moment-in-time piece than an actual 'story', if you'll see what I mean. A story has a beginning, middle and end - BUT I am not sure what the contest calls for.
As to your qs - you did perfect. Great job.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Daniel,
This was a little bit more of a moment-in-time piece than an actual 'story', if you'll see what I mean. A story has a beginning, middle and end - BUT I am not sure what the contest calls for.
As to your qs - you did perfect. Great job.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you for your review. This was not a contest entry. This was just for my sake of writing dialogue and paying attention to my punctuation and quotation marks. Yes, this was a moment in time when a couple of brothers meet up and share some memories. Thank you again for your review, I truly appreciate it. Have a Happy New Year.
Comment from MelB
Hi Dan, the quotes within quotes are correct. You did a great job on the dialogue only. I can see why those two don't like watermelon as much as they used to.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Hi Dan, the quotes within quotes are correct. You did a great job on the dialogue only. I can see why those two don't like watermelon as much as they used to.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review. I appreciate it. Have a Happy New Year.
Comment from patcelaw
This is a good entry for the contest. As fo the "" marks I think they should be there and they do help remind the reader it is dialogue. As a kid me and neighbor kids got into a watermelon patch and busted open some melons. The farmer saw us and came by our house and asked us if we had been there. We said we had, while the other kids lied. The next day the farmer brought our family two baskets of watermelon and cantaloupe. Patricia
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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This is a good entry for the contest. As fo the "" marks I think they should be there and they do help remind the reader it is dialogue. As a kid me and neighbor kids got into a watermelon patch and busted open some melons. The farmer saw us and came by our house and asked us if we had been there. We said we had, while the other kids lied. The next day the farmer brought our family two baskets of watermelon and cantaloupe. Patricia
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and kind words. I really appreciate it.
Comment from antonieta
Hi Daniel,
I much enjoyed this dialogue. It's very realistic and it shows precisely the way one speaks - I am not American, but I still can figure out it thanks to American films and American friends.
All the best,
Antonieta
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Hi Daniel,
I much enjoyed this dialogue. It's very realistic and it shows precisely the way one speaks - I am not American, but I still can figure out it thanks to American films and American friends.
All the best,
Antonieta
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and kind words. I truly appreciate it.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there;
Thank you so much for sharing your Dialogue only piece. As for your use of the quote within a quote, you did do it correctly. The rule comes from Grammar Book.com.
Rule: Use single quotation marks inside double quotation marks when you have a quotation within a quotation.
Great job and I hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Bright New Year,
~patty~
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Hi there;
Thank you so much for sharing your Dialogue only piece. As for your use of the quote within a quote, you did do it correctly. The rule comes from Grammar Book.com.
Rule: Use single quotation marks inside double quotation marks when you have a quotation within a quotation.
Great job and I hope you had a Merry Christmas and a Bright New Year,
~patty~
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much for your review and feedback. I truly appreciate it.
And you have a Happy New Year as well.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Hello Daniel. I've enjoyed reading through your dialogue only presentation. And I can honestly say you've made a great job of it. I could find no fault - all in all, a most impressive piece.
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Hello Daniel. I've enjoyed reading through your dialogue only presentation. And I can honestly say you've made a great job of it. I could find no fault - all in all, a most impressive piece.
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much for your review and feedback. I really appreciate it.
Comment from Mabaker
I can't tell you if your grammar is correct or shot to heck, but hey you write a great story. It took me back to when I was a kid and we used to pinch soft drink bottles from behind the shop of the only man in town who sold soft drink. He must have known what we were up to, but he never said. Regards Mabaker.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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I can't tell you if your grammar is correct or shot to heck, but hey you write a great story. It took me back to when I was a kid and we used to pinch soft drink bottles from behind the shop of the only man in town who sold soft drink. He must have known what we were up to, but he never said. Regards Mabaker.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review. I truly appreciate it.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good dialogue piece. It's not always easy to create a complete story with dialogue.
The story is good and age appropriate. Well done.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sharon
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2017
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This is a good dialogue piece. It's not always easy to create a complete story with dialogue.
The story is good and age appropriate. Well done.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Sharon
Comment Written 28-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review. You have a Happy New Year.
Comment from estory
I think this is pretty lively dialogue, the quotation is OK I think. The emotions of the characters and their personalities come alive in the dialogue here, and we get that ping pong effect of the back and forth between the two boys. It is kind of a lighthearted matter. If you dig a little deeper, find a more tense moment between the two characters, and keep the natural, honest voices, you will be where you need to be in managing dialogue. I think the key is to have in mind the personalities of the characters, their morals, their emotions, the mechanics of the relationship, and then let the characters do the talking. let em fly. estory
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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I think this is pretty lively dialogue, the quotation is OK I think. The emotions of the characters and their personalities come alive in the dialogue here, and we get that ping pong effect of the back and forth between the two boys. It is kind of a lighthearted matter. If you dig a little deeper, find a more tense moment between the two characters, and keep the natural, honest voices, you will be where you need to be in managing dialogue. I think the key is to have in mind the personalities of the characters, their morals, their emotions, the mechanics of the relationship, and then let the characters do the talking. let em fly. estory
Comment Written 27-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and excellent critique. You are the second person that has suggested to bring in a little conflict or something to stir the emotions of the two boys. I really appreciate your feedback. Thank you.
