Reviews from

Two Faced

A short story about disguise.

23 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
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You immediately caught my attention with the name of the character, Mrs. Guise. Clever for the title called Disguised. Great imagery too with your detailed description of actions and colors.

One of my favorite lines was "He carried his face in a big black case with pop-up shelves of various tubes of makeup. " A nice personal touch when there are details od his fatigue. It is as if the reader gets to peek through the disguise and see the human side of the clown and understand the mask was not just makeup. There is a sort of oxymoronic element with juxtaposition. I like this. I've always said that I like Halloween because people can put their masks on and be themselves. Sometimes their deceptive selves.

A great ending

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018
    Many thanks for your review.
Comment from Kathy Allmon
Excellent
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As always Sharon, I love your writing. Your description is so good that I can see everything. The use of the clown as the disguise was great. I cant wait to read your next post.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018
    Many thanks.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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An unusual write and clowns always seem to have a sinister appearance, a painted on smile with a miserable character behind it! Congratulations on your win, a most enjoyable story, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2018
    Many thanks.
Comment from Pamusart
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This is the first entry I have seen for this contest and the contest is already over. Amazing that I have not seen any other entries. I joined the site mid February. Maybe that is why. I am assuming that Sam tripped the little boy. I was expecting that something would gall out of the drone so that his father gets caught spying on young ladies. Congratulations on winning the contest. Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 30-Mar-2018
    Many thanks.
Comment from Paws4FX
Good
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Oooh! This is an excellent little plot line you have going here. I know exactly what you were shooting for in this story, and it just needs some more fleshing out. Was there a word limit when you wrote it?

The transition was a little confusing for me until I realized you had taken us forward in time. With a titch more connective description, this would stand alone as a good flash fiction type piece, but I think this could be something special as a longer story. If we got to know Sam a little better, we could either truly loathe him, or at the very least have a keen understanding of where he's coming from as a passive aggressive protagonist, depending on how dark you believe him to be. Some very interesting possibilities!

Sam is a good (not nice good) character, and we know quite a bit about him in just the short time we have to meet him. That's cool!

Nice alliteration and descriptive prose makes it easy to enjoy reading.

Again, the transition is a bit abrupt, but otherwise I think you have a nice little diamond in the rough here. Thanks for sharing it!

Michael

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 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you for your read and review.
Comment from Mustangpatty1029
Excellent
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Hi, Sharon;
Congratulations on your win with this story. You did a great job of using the disguise of a clown to cover up the actor's disdain for the children. I'm sure it gave him great pleasure to diminish the child's birthday celebration without looking petty,

~patty~

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Many thanks.
Comment from Ricky1024
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This writing prompt was rich and Demon imagery as well has no grammar issues expelled I enjoyed the clown part and then the Drone part was added plus thanks for this or I'm good luck in the contest after Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Many thanks.
Comment from Brigitte Elko
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This is a great story about an emotional unveiling. The clown as a character is well described and is a viable villain. This was a good read. Good luck in the contest.

Happy New Year,
Brigitte

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
    Many thanks.
reply by Brigitte Elko on 29-Dec-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written story. It is hard to recognized a clown without his make up. He can be anyone you come across. It will look like they know you, but you can't place them.

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
    Many thanks
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi there,

This is a neat little piece. Old Sam is a cantankerous bugger who enjoys the suffering of children... nice. lol

The drone was no where to be seen - nowhere.


 Comment Written 20-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
    Many thanks