My Number Wasn't Up
A Day's Work in Viet Nam15 total reviews
Comment from poetwatch
Good story. Reminds me of a world I thought to forget. Many man lost their lives and many still battle with its effects. Hope your friend got over the nightmares of living in hell. My best to you on the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
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Good story. Reminds me of a world I thought to forget. Many man lost their lives and many still battle with its effects. Hope your friend got over the nightmares of living in hell. My best to you on the contest.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and kind words. And, Merry Christmas.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. You tell a vivid and poignant story that allows the reader to share the experience with you. Nam was terrible for all who went and it's mark on their lives remains to this day. All the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully. You tell a vivid and poignant story that allows the reader to share the experience with you. Nam was terrible for all who went and it's mark on their lives remains to this day. All the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words. And, Merry Christmas to you.
Comment from Rikki66
Well written and emotional as the old saying teen there done that, it was a jeep and grenade not a chopper, but, a one minute difference between life and death.
IV Corps 67-68
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2017
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Well written and emotional as the old saying teen there done that, it was a jeep and grenade not a chopper, but, a one minute difference between life and death.
IV Corps 67-68
Comment Written 18-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2017
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Thank you for your review and kind words. Thank you for your service to our country. Merry Christmas
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Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.
Comment from MelB
This is an action packed and powerful retelling of what happened. You described it so well that it played out like a movie in my mind. I can't imagine what it would be like to be the only survivor.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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This is an action packed and powerful retelling of what happened. You described it so well that it played out like a movie in my mind. I can't imagine what it would be like to be the only survivor.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and the 6-star rating. I am so glad you were able to visualize the traumatic experience my friend encountered. Viet Nam was an especially difficult time because so many felt we should not have been there. Our veterans were treated the worst of any vet in history. My friend still carries a certain "attitude" today. It's sad. Thank you again so much for your rating.
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I've watched a lot of war movies and it's so hard to believe our country treated the vets the way they did. The news media did a lot of damage back then. It seems they haven't changed at all since.
Comment from Lucian Carter
Ooh. That last bit of the author's notes really pumps this up. I would love to see it added to the end of the piece itself. I'm just not sure where to put it.
Capturing the horror of war is not easy. Here you capture it through the eyes of a service man, which is great. The tone works. The narrative voice is consistent. Nice stuff.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Ooh. That last bit of the author's notes really pumps this up. I would love to see it added to the end of the piece itself. I'm just not sure where to put it.
Capturing the horror of war is not easy. Here you capture it through the eyes of a service man, which is great. The tone works. The narrative voice is consistent. Nice stuff.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Thank you for your review. I agree, with your point about my friend who told me his story, and how it would be nice to be included in the story. Maybe, later after the contest I can add to the beginning as a prologue or something. My friend did not talk much about being in Nam. And as I learned from my Uncle as well, who was in the Korean War, those who saw a lot of action usually will not talk about it. Those who do talk, are likely just telling stories.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good entry for the 'War' writing prompt.
War is such a terrible thing and the stories of the servivors are incredible.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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This is a good entry for the 'War' writing prompt.
War is such a terrible thing and the stories of the servivors are incredible.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 16-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you for your review and kind words. Merry Christmas.
Comment from zekeziemann
Well described and written. Thanks for your service. The story has a wonderful flow and a very good ending. Write more of your experiences.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Well described and written. Thanks for your service. The story has a wonderful flow and a very good ending. Write more of your experiences.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you kindly for your review. I didn't make it into the service. In 1971 they drafted 1-100. My number was 101. This story was told to me by a very good friend, who lived a very similar day in Nam. He made it to the M-60 and earned the Silver Star. And, he was the only survivor. Thank you again for your feedback.
Comment from Dan Diego
I'm reviewing this in the blind as a War contest entry. You easily met the only listed requirement for the contest: Write a story where a character is in war or is about to be in war.
This entry lends itself to credibility. The action is movie-like and the dialogue seems true-to-life. There were no errors in punctuation, grammar, or spelling. I did pause at your sound effects and felt glad that I don't ever write them. They are difficult to narrate.
Overall, a great read and a suitable contest entry. I wish you luck in the booth.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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I'm reviewing this in the blind as a War contest entry. You easily met the only listed requirement for the contest: Write a story where a character is in war or is about to be in war.
This entry lends itself to credibility. The action is movie-like and the dialogue seems true-to-life. There were no errors in punctuation, grammar, or spelling. I did pause at your sound effects and felt glad that I don't ever write them. They are difficult to narrate.
Overall, a great read and a suitable contest entry. I wish you luck in the booth.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Yes, sound effects are very hard to put in words. I felt I had to come up with something because without them, the tension, fear, experience as a whole cannot be felt. I may research sound effects and see what I can find, or what I may be able to contribute. If Kincaid can paint the light, then I want to be able to write the sound. Thank you very much for your review and feedback.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Mystery Author,
You did a great job with your war story. It was intense & very believable. I liked the dialogue. You described the setting well. It was easy to 'see' this as it happened--but it was sad. too. Your account of the story was interesting to read from one who was never in the military. Good job. Jan
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Mystery Author,
You did a great job with your war story. It was intense & very believable. I liked the dialogue. You described the setting well. It was easy to 'see' this as it happened--but it was sad. too. Your account of the story was interesting to read from one who was never in the military. Good job. Jan
Comment Written 16-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you Jan for your review. I really appreciate it.
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Thank you Jan for your review. I really appreciate it.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
You did a good job of putting the reader there. the sounds, sharpness and shock.
"WE'RE GOING DOWN" yells Sarge - need punctuation before the closing speech marks here.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Hi there,
You did a good job of putting the reader there. the sounds, sharpness and shock.
"WE'RE GOING DOWN" yells Sarge - need punctuation before the closing speech marks here.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and feedback. I'll get right on that fix.
