Chocolate Ghazal
An introduction to the qafiya in a ghazal.46 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Andre, I'm impressed. You seem to have really gone in there and do everything you can to master the form. I admire your dedication. A wonderful poem about your love for chocolate. All best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Hi Andre, I'm impressed. You seem to have really gone in there and do everything you can to master the form. I admire your dedication. A wonderful poem about your love for chocolate. All best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 12-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Ulla, for your review. Once I realized I was missing a key rhyme sequence in my "Your Arms" poem, I rushed to write the Chocolate Ghazal in one day. Now I am revising my Ivy ghazal and checking out a book from the library about how to write them properly in English.
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I'm so looking forward to reading more. I'm intrigued. Ulla :)
Comment from estory
Nice minimalist form here, using that one image, chocolate, and taking it into all kinds of directions. Chocolate is beautiful, chocolate is delicious, chocolate can make you sick. We see it all here. Nice humorous touch at the end. estory
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Nice minimalist form here, using that one image, chocolate, and taking it into all kinds of directions. Chocolate is beautiful, chocolate is delicious, chocolate can make you sick. We see it all here. Nice humorous touch at the end. estory
Comment Written 12-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Thank you, estory, for your delicious review of my ghazal on chocolate. I appreciate the snack!
Comment from Ogden
Aw, root shmoot, as we say where I come from.
The dark voices have a point well taken. Chocolate isn't even listening. (You might talk to those psychiatrists about dealing with
rejection.)
Don (Ogden)
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Aw, root shmoot, as we say where I come from.
The dark voices have a point well taken. Chocolate isn't even listening. (You might talk to those psychiatrists about dealing with
rejection.)
Don (Ogden)
Comment Written 12-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Ha, Don, I'll talk to the psychiatrists! Thank you for your humorous review.
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My pleasure, Andre. Wishing you all the best this holiday season!
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sis Cat,
You've done the form well, with some good alliteration
and the "hidden" rhyme scheme
It's just that the form doesn't do as much for me
as a nice piece of dark chocolate
Excellent art work to match
RS
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Hello Sis Cat,
You've done the form well, with some good alliteration
and the "hidden" rhyme scheme
It's just that the form doesn't do as much for me
as a nice piece of dark chocolate
Excellent art work to match
RS
Comment Written 12-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Thank you, RS, for your kind review. I enjoy this ancient form of Arabic poetry and have just picked up two books on American ghazals written in English. I am glad you enjoyed the alliteration and "hidden" rhyme scheme. Thanks again.
Comment from Rasmine
Andre,
No way! Chocolate is a food group (or at least in my dreams). I know a woman who is not suppose to eat chocolate because of the caffeine in it. She has heart palpitations. I hope you are kidding in this poem.
I really liked this couplet (is that what you call it instead of stanzas in this poem):
Drink of the Mayans, mole of the Mexicans,
you're the reason why I'm bedridden, chocolate.
Take care,
Nome
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Andre,
No way! Chocolate is a food group (or at least in my dreams). I know a woman who is not suppose to eat chocolate because of the caffeine in it. She has heart palpitations. I hope you are kidding in this poem.
I really liked this couplet (is that what you call it instead of stanzas in this poem):
Drink of the Mayans, mole of the Mexicans,
you're the reason why I'm bedridden, chocolate.
Take care,
Nome
Comment Written 12-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Nome, for your delicious review and for pointing out your favorite couplet. Take care and take chocolate.
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Yes! :P
Comment from Ricky1024
Did Shakopee listed as the food of the Gods is a known fact that dark chocolate add serotonin levels to our brain helps us it makes us feel grandiose when we eat a Hershey's bar it takes away our pain and as Pleasures in our life sort of like ice cream but you need to eat the whole thing at once they have done a contest for chocolate thanks sis cat well-written dr. Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Did Shakopee listed as the food of the Gods is a known fact that dark chocolate add serotonin levels to our brain helps us it makes us feel grandiose when we eat a Hershey's bar it takes away our pain and as Pleasures in our life sort of like ice cream but you need to eat the whole thing at once they have done a contest for chocolate thanks sis cat well-written dr. Ricky 1024
Comment Written 12-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Ricky, for your delicious review and information. I feel like having a bar now.
Comment from LeRoy Bertsch
I really like the poem the flow seems a bit off to me but I really enjoyed the story. I am unfamiliar with the poems that you are styling from so maybe that is why it seems a bit off. Thank-you for a nice read
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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I really like the poem the flow seems a bit off to me but I really enjoyed the story. I am unfamiliar with the poems that you are styling from so maybe that is why it seems a bit off. Thank-you for a nice read
Comment Written 12-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, LeRoy, for your intuitive review. Although this form of poetry has assisted in Arabia, Persia, and India for thousands of years, it has only become better known in the Western world in 1996 with the first publication English ghazals. Still, most FanStorians have not heard of this form. The rhyme scheme and structural requirements make these poems unfamiliar or off to those who have never read them.
I appreciate your review nonetheless. Thank you for your time and thoughts.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Chocolate is actually good for you. It lowers blood pressure. That's why I eat it by the bushel. Don't eat so-called white chocolate. It's not real chocolate. All of the Cocco has been removed.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Chocolate is actually good for you. It lowers blood pressure. That's why I eat it by the bushel. Don't eat so-called white chocolate. It's not real chocolate. All of the Cocco has been removed.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Yes, Thomas, I avoid white chocolate like the plague. I do enjoy an occasional dark chocolate. Thank you for your delicious and healthy review of my poem.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Chocolate Ghazal", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was pleasure to both read and review. Chocoholics of the world, prick up your ears! To me this is a definite six.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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"Chocolate Ghazal", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was pleasure to both read and review. Chocoholics of the world, prick up your ears! To me this is a definite six.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Duchess, for your deliciously wicked six star review. I appreciate it!
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Sis Cat, as always, you're more than welcome. You certainly deserved the wicked six star review.
Bless you and have a Happy, Holy and Safe Christmas,
the Duchess
Comment from lyenochka
Ah, chocolate - my favorite food group! Yes, it's good for our brains, right? You continue to amaze with this interesting new format! The penultimate rhymes are more striking here including even "kiddin" with other "-bidden" words. My favorite line: "flavonoid fantasies have ridden chocolate."
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Ah, chocolate - my favorite food group! Yes, it's good for our brains, right? You continue to amaze with this interesting new format! The penultimate rhymes are more striking here including even "kiddin" with other "-bidden" words. My favorite line: "flavonoid fantasies have ridden chocolate."
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Yes, lyenochka, I could not believe my fortune with that line ""flavonoid fantasies have ridden chocolate." And the "kiddin'" rhyme was genius because the rhyming dictionary I used did not offer the slang "kiddin'" as a rhyme for "bidden." Thank you for your review.
