Freedom
Acrostic-Loop / just having ago34 total reviews
Comment from damommy
A beautiful poem to show how we've strayed from that this country was built on. I think there will come a time we go back to the real values in the country. Commercialism has taken its toll on the human spirit, I believe.
I agree with all you have said here. An acrostic-loop is quite a challenge, but you did it so well.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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A beautiful poem to show how we've strayed from that this country was built on. I think there will come a time we go back to the real values in the country. Commercialism has taken its toll on the human spirit, I believe.
I agree with all you have said here. An acrostic-loop is quite a challenge, but you did it so well.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much****kahpot
Comment from zekeziemann
Well thought out and very important in the political sense at this time. The picture is good. Merry Christmas to you and keep writing.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Well thought out and very important in the political sense at this time. The picture is good. Merry Christmas to you and keep writing.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much****kahpot
Comment from Neonewman
Amen! Well stated and well crafted my friend. It's the voice of a few that are challenging these rights!!! The majority continues to stay silent, thinking it won't happen. But if they will open their eyes they will clearly see.
God bless!
Steve
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Amen! Well stated and well crafted my friend. It's the voice of a few that are challenging these rights!!! The majority continues to stay silent, thinking it won't happen. But if they will open their eyes they will clearly see.
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much****kahpot
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My pleasure!
Comment from Janet Foor
I enjoyed reading your Acrostic Loop poem, Freedom.
One suggestion:
change humanities rites to humanity's rights
I really liked that your looped the word freedom at the beginning and end to this piece. Well thought out.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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I enjoyed reading your Acrostic Loop poem, Freedom.
One suggestion:
change humanities rites to humanity's rights
I really liked that your looped the word freedom at the beginning and end to this piece. Well thought out.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much and I will****kahpot
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well written poem about what the founding fathers meant for this country and it also honors soldiers. I think you meant rights not rites.
Keep writing
Happy Holidays.
dp
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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This is a well written poem about what the founding fathers meant for this country and it also honors soldiers. I think you meant rights not rites.
Keep writing
Happy Holidays.
dp
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thank you very much, Happy new Year****kahpot
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My pleasure.
dragonpoet
Comment from RGstar
And so it should be, yet we seldom see any aspects of the above working together at any one time. It seems something so harmonious, so simple, is as difficult as the understanding or explaining what hate entails.
Nicely done.
My best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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And so it should be, yet we seldom see any aspects of the above working together at any one time. It seems something so harmonious, so simple, is as difficult as the understanding or explaining what hate entails.
Nicely done.
My best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thank you very much, Happy new Year****kahpoy
Comment from Lucian Carter
I like your sentiment. Your execution needs a little work.
It should be "humanity's" not "humanities".
It should be "rights" not "rites".
These words are such an important part of your piece they ruin your impact for the entire first half of the poem.
You right the ship by the end. Overall, you've also followed the format well.
Not bad, not excellent.
This is also a very US-centric piece. You seem to forget how many people in the world have little or even no rights at all.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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I like your sentiment. Your execution needs a little work.
It should be "humanity's" not "humanities".
It should be "rights" not "rites".
These words are such an important part of your piece they ruin your impact for the entire first half of the poem.
You right the ship by the end. Overall, you've also followed the format well.
Not bad, not excellent.
This is also a very US-centric piece. You seem to forget how many people in the world have little or even no rights at all.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you and I agree with the execution, not sure where you hail from but I am an Aussie, naught to do do with the US, many thanks****kahpot
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I'm Canadian, apologies for mixing you up.
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Not a problem, no apologies needed I appreciate your time and review, many thanks****kahpot
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Hi there are so many thoughts here that like the grains one could garner. But to me one stands out and it says wisdom...that leaders of mankind could use to lead us.
Sorry there has never been a time when man was led by a vast buch of the most stupid and unprincipled leaders, greedy for wealth and power.
Mankind is at the mercy of ignorance and stupidity.
But I like the way you put things ,
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Hi there are so many thoughts here that like the grains one could garner. But to me one stands out and it says wisdom...that leaders of mankind could use to lead us.
Sorry there has never been a time when man was led by a vast buch of the most stupid and unprincipled leaders, greedy for wealth and power.
Mankind is at the mercy of ignorance and stupidity.
But I like the way you put things ,
Comment Written 14-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thank you very much, Happy New Year****kahpot
Comment from Pantygynt
This is what I call a real loop as it concatenates back from the end to the beginning. I believe the rules of the loop do not state that but I have always thought they should otherwise it is a chain not a loop. In addition you have formed yours into an acrostic, which is a form I despise unless, as here, it embraces some other poetic device in addition.
This one is clever, complete and poetic. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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This is what I call a real loop as it concatenates back from the end to the beginning. I believe the rules of the loop do not state that but I have always thought they should otherwise it is a chain not a loop. In addition you have formed yours into an acrostic, which is a form I despise unless, as here, it embraces some other poetic device in addition.
This one is clever, complete and poetic. Well done.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thank you very much, it was your inspiration for my first attempt at a "Loop" that has me making it from beginning to end, many thanks, Happy New Year****kahpot
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Kahpot, this is a good loop acrostic poem. The topic of freedom is a strong one. Freedom which is a human right but not given to ever human. Another suppressant of mankind.
My only comment, if any, would be - I am not sure if you purposely left out any punctuation but if you were to add any then perhaps in the middle of "...written, sworn..."
Thank you for sharing this very reflective read. ~DD
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Kahpot, this is a good loop acrostic poem. The topic of freedom is a strong one. Freedom which is a human right but not given to ever human. Another suppressant of mankind.
My only comment, if any, would be - I am not sure if you purposely left out any punctuation but if you were to add any then perhaps in the middle of "...written, sworn..."
Thank you for sharing this very reflective read. ~DD
Comment Written 14-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thank you very much, my punctuation and grammar is not very good your suggestion is greatly appreciated, happy new year****kahpot
