A Night In Hell On Earth
Observation of a third kind37 total reviews
Comment from Ricky1024
As I read this well-deserved sixth or piece the first thing I started nose was the definition of this and the great objective contents as you describe things in great detail and then you started to describe the Earth in the past with your pain as you grass but the question is this doesn't still persist and will it continue to last thanks for just talked to Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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As I read this well-deserved sixth or piece the first thing I started nose was the definition of this and the great objective contents as you describe things in great detail and then you started to describe the Earth in the past with your pain as you grass but the question is this doesn't still persist and will it continue to last thanks for just talked to Ricky 1024
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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I thank you so much for this exceptional review Ricky. I am most honored my friend. tom
Comment from kahpot
Yes an excellent read, The wars we are fighting and will fight will only increase the homeless and leave our children with less, lies and false beliefe are most definitely the cause of all this, very well done****kahpot
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Yes an excellent read, The wars we are fighting and will fight will only increase the homeless and leave our children with less, lies and false beliefe are most definitely the cause of all this, very well done****kahpot
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Thank you kahpot. tom
Comment from BermyBye50
This is an excellent example of poetic master. A brilliant write. It engages the reader from start to finish. This is a poem right out of a master class. Thank you for setting a very high standard for writers like myself to aspire to.
Cheers
Eugene
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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This is an excellent example of poetic master. A brilliant write. It engages the reader from start to finish. This is a poem right out of a master class. Thank you for setting a very high standard for writers like myself to aspire to.
Cheers
Eugene
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Wow, I am very flattered Eugene. So glad you enjoyed this poetic so much. Thank you very, very much my friend. tom
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Tom,
I think this is really good and dark. It speaks a truth that is so damn true:
And now we fight two futile wars abroad
As homeless multiply across our lands.
Moronic men claim war inspired by God;
No Gods come forth to verify their stands
I just pray and hope that this changes.
Part II gets pretty dark.
Still really good and emotion sparking.
Take care,
Nome
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Hello, Tom,
I think this is really good and dark. It speaks a truth that is so damn true:
And now we fight two futile wars abroad
As homeless multiply across our lands.
Moronic men claim war inspired by God;
No Gods come forth to verify their stands
I just pray and hope that this changes.
Part II gets pretty dark.
Still really good and emotion sparking.
Take care,
Nome
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much Nome. Most honored. tom
Comment from ronnie k
Where are the stars when they are most needed, this is in eyes EXCEPTIONAL but my take on this wonderful yet tragic and so true write that it was not written for stars but to open eyes, hearts and minds too clear fact, "I am my brothers keeper"
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Where are the stars when they are most needed, this is in eyes EXCEPTIONAL but my take on this wonderful yet tragic and so true write that it was not written for stars but to open eyes, hearts and minds too clear fact, "I am my brothers keeper"
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much Ronnie. tom
Comment from jenintorre
Wow wow wow. An amazing poem. I was gripped all the way through while reading it. The rhyme is superb. I particularly liked,
"Just why he quit and when" Brilliant.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Wow wow wow. An amazing poem. I was gripped all the way through while reading it. The rhyme is superb. I particularly liked,
"Just why he quit and when" Brilliant.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Wow, thank you very much jenintorre. I am most flattered and honored my friend. tom
Comment from Sis Cat
A somber, two-part poem about a night of living hell on earth. In your first section, you describe homelessness, unwantedness in stark language:
Dark alleyways collect discarded waste
Of human refuse born out of excess;
You further elaborate, using an ABAB rhyme structure that is smooth and acidic at the same time to urn your message into our consciousness:
The homeless are but one more tragic part
Of all those now exploited on the street;
With ragged clothes piled high atop a cart
They dive the dipsy-dumpsters just to eat.
The hellish night continues inside as the narrator is unable to sleep:
I go to bed and wait my needed sleep;
The night brings dread as looming shadows creep.
The narrator thinks about children and creates a nightmarish vision:
The children sit in sick beds all alone
And blow-flies drop their eggs on skin and bone;
The child will die, as vermin start to bite,
By dawn the child is dead and maggot white.
Your poem expands to describe politics and culture, where truth is a casualty:
If evil men face hell then truth prevails,
If not then life's a mockery that fails.
If man believes this false absurdity,
Then he's been pimped by grand stupidity.
Your poem concludes with a mounting death toll in a hell of our own creation:
The children are the innocent who die
In agony beyond their painful cry.
Let all men know each loss is on their soul
To be adjudged when death calls in the toll.
Thank you for sharing your powerful work. I am thrilled to have read it.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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A somber, two-part poem about a night of living hell on earth. In your first section, you describe homelessness, unwantedness in stark language:
Dark alleyways collect discarded waste
Of human refuse born out of excess;
You further elaborate, using an ABAB rhyme structure that is smooth and acidic at the same time to urn your message into our consciousness:
The homeless are but one more tragic part
Of all those now exploited on the street;
With ragged clothes piled high atop a cart
They dive the dipsy-dumpsters just to eat.
The hellish night continues inside as the narrator is unable to sleep:
I go to bed and wait my needed sleep;
The night brings dread as looming shadows creep.
The narrator thinks about children and creates a nightmarish vision:
The children sit in sick beds all alone
And blow-flies drop their eggs on skin and bone;
The child will die, as vermin start to bite,
By dawn the child is dead and maggot white.
Your poem expands to describe politics and culture, where truth is a casualty:
If evil men face hell then truth prevails,
If not then life's a mockery that fails.
If man believes this false absurdity,
Then he's been pimped by grand stupidity.
Your poem concludes with a mounting death toll in a hell of our own creation:
The children are the innocent who die
In agony beyond their painful cry.
Let all men know each loss is on their soul
To be adjudged when death calls in the toll.
Thank you for sharing your powerful work. I am thrilled to have read it.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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What a great review my friend. I am very honored. Thank you. tom
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is surreal in the way in which it viscerally impacts the reader. The rhyme and meter are impeccable throughout. The imagery is absolutely brilliantly constructed. I was in tears by the end - which, in fact, is a stunning summarization of the piece and the world's disparaging state of affairs. You are right when you say that "We are the Armageddon in the end". Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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This is surreal in the way in which it viscerally impacts the reader. The rhyme and meter are impeccable throughout. The imagery is absolutely brilliantly constructed. I was in tears by the end - which, in fact, is a stunning summarization of the piece and the world's disparaging state of affairs. You are right when you say that "We are the Armageddon in the end". Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Hi MA. What a great review. I am flattered and honored my friend. Thank you very much. tom
Comment from For better for verse
This was a great piece of work, excellent content and a very well crafted piece of writing.
It's good to see examples of good old fashioned traditional poetry like this, I am not a great fan of a lot of the modern stuff.
This well deserves its all time best status, well done.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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This was a great piece of work, excellent content and a very well crafted piece of writing.
It's good to see examples of good old fashioned traditional poetry like this, I am not a great fan of a lot of the modern stuff.
This well deserves its all time best status, well done.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Thank you my friend. tom
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"A Night In Hell On Earth", is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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"A Night In Hell On Earth", is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2017
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Thank you Duchess. tom
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Tom, as always you're more than welcome.
Best wishes, bless you and Merry Christmas,
the Duchess
