The Princess And The Pea
The true story28 total reviews
Comment from F. Wehr3
I enjoyed your story, and I thought you did a good job with it. I thought this was a fun contest to enter. Have a great day!
You may want to look at your prepositional/ conditional phrases particularly at the beginning of sentences. Also, the use of coordinating conjunctions and the way to punctuate them.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
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I enjoyed your story, and I thought you did a good job with it. I thought this was a fun contest to enter. Have a great day!
You may want to look at your prepositional/ conditional phrases particularly at the beginning of sentences. Also, the use of coordinating conjunctions and the way to punctuate them.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 08-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
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Thanks for the tips. I will edit and take a look at it again. Sometimes I get in too big of a hurry.
Comment from D.F. Wood
Oh I just loved it. Very nicely done. You put your own spin on a classic tale and have created a winner. Although your description of the cat does not match that of Garfield, I feel Sir Gawain would get along well with him. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
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Oh I just loved it. Very nicely done. You put your own spin on a classic tale and have created a winner. Although your description of the cat does not match that of Garfield, I feel Sir Gawain would get along well with him. Nicely done.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Daniel. I'm so glad you enjoyed this silly story.
Comment from MallardMike
Cute story! To be totally frank, I wasn't sure where you were going at the start, but by the conclusion (and the pea) I found myself really enjoying your yarn :) Equally impressive that you hurried this out in such short order!
Even though the story is good, it's marred by a few "bad" sentences (for example, "There was always something that wasn't satisfactory such as bad breath, a shrill voice, or maybe the princess in question was beautiful, (all princesses are in folklore), but still he wasn't sure they were authentic.")
Fortunately, the the "good" (like, "I hid under the bed and hoped the pig-headed chit would forget about me and go by herself, but no such luck.") outweigh the "bad".
Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
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Cute story! To be totally frank, I wasn't sure where you were going at the start, but by the conclusion (and the pea) I found myself really enjoying your yarn :) Equally impressive that you hurried this out in such short order!
Even though the story is good, it's marred by a few "bad" sentences (for example, "There was always something that wasn't satisfactory such as bad breath, a shrill voice, or maybe the princess in question was beautiful, (all princesses are in folklore), but still he wasn't sure they were authentic.")
Fortunately, the the "good" (like, "I hid under the bed and hoped the pig-headed chit would forget about me and go by herself, but no such luck.") outweigh the "bad".
Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate any and all input. I agree with you, that one sentence should have been eliminated.
Comment from pome lover
well, I think you did an admirable job, on the fly or not. Original, from the cat's POV. I was ready to read more - wanted to see how she handled her new fam, etc. Didn't noticed any errors was so fascinated with the story. good job,
pome lover
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
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well, I think you did an admirable job, on the fly or not. Original, from the cat's POV. I was ready to read more - wanted to see how she handled her new fam, etc. Didn't noticed any errors was so fascinated with the story. good job,
pome lover
Comment Written 06-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
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Thank you for the great review and your kind comments.
Comment from c_lucas
The story was read to me by my third grade teacher. I didn't care for it then and I not particular about it today. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
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The story was read to me by my third grade teacher. I didn't care for it then and I not particular about it today. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
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Thank you. It was never my favorite fairy tale either. I think it sounds better my way. LOL
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I agree.
Comment from write hand blue
Hi there. I enjoyed reading this dear little tale. At five hundred pairs Annabelle has even more shoes than my wife. LOL
I like it, a Furry Tale told from a cat's perspective. I didn't see any errors in this write.
Good luck with the contest.
~Mel~
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
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Hi there. I enjoyed reading this dear little tale. At five hundred pairs Annabelle has even more shoes than my wife. LOL
I like it, a Furry Tale told from a cat's perspective. I didn't see any errors in this write.
Good luck with the contest.
~Mel~
Comment Written 06-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
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Thanks for reading and commenting. So, your wife is a shoe lover too.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Cute story about the noble cat, Sir Gawain, and his beautiful, if a bit spoiled princess.
Good to know the perceptive cat and his actress sidekick princess were able to pull off the scheme and set themselves up in a good situation.
Great story,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Cute story about the noble cat, Sir Gawain, and his beautiful, if a bit spoiled princess.
Good to know the perceptive cat and his actress sidekick princess were able to pull off the scheme and set themselves up in a good situation.
Great story,
Rhonda
Comment Written 06-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Thanks for reading and commenting, Rhonda. I appreciate any and all input.
Comment from Angela VA
I thoroughly enjoyed this take on the princess and the pea. The point of the view of the cat was original and fit the attitude of the typical cat well. I was in no hurry to finish and get my review points because I was enjoying the story.
In paragraph 4, I suggest changing the "No" to "no" or "NO" in this sentence - "As I said, No one told my Princess Annabelle no and got away with it."
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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I thoroughly enjoyed this take on the princess and the pea. The point of the view of the cat was original and fit the attitude of the typical cat well. I was in no hurry to finish and get my review points because I was enjoying the story.
In paragraph 4, I suggest changing the "No" to "no" or "NO" in this sentence - "As I said, No one told my Princess Annabelle no and got away with it."
Comment Written 06-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Angela. I truly appreciate the six-star rating. Glad you enjoyed the silly story.
Comment from nomi338
Bravo! I loved it. I have written a few fractured Fairy Tales of my own. My favorite is on the site, it is titled "Little Red Riding In the Hood", you should check it out if you've a mind to. This is very amusing and I believe that it happened just as it was told.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Bravo! I loved it. I have written a few fractured Fairy Tales of my own. My favorite is on the site, it is titled "Little Red Riding In the Hood", you should check it out if you've a mind to. This is very amusing and I believe that it happened just as it was told.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Thanks for your vote of confidence. I think I will look up your story, it sounds interesting.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks a true story in a very realistic and expressive way, the princess was to be real, prince was to marry a real one, marathon interrogations went on, end is pathetic; I like. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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This speaks a true story in a very realistic and expressive way, the princess was to be real, prince was to marry a real one, marathon interrogations went on, end is pathetic; I like. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Thanks for reading and commenting. Just a silly little story for the contest. Glad you liked it.
