Comment from Poetic Friend

Excellent

Wow, I love this concept for a love poem. I admire when a poet writes about a subject that have been covered for centuries and gives a new spin on the theme. It is refreshing and indicative of the poet's originality and creative. You have done such with this poem, Sis Cat.

I love it! Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017

Thank you, Poetic Friend, for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest. Roses get nearly all of the attention in poetry, but ivy has a way of sticking around. I am glad the idea for this poem stuck in my head so I could write it down. Thanks.

Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

This is a unique and quite talented entry you have delivered for this particular contest my friend. This one is sure to stand out among the others.
God bless!
Steve

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017

Thank you, Steve, for your review and blessings. Thanks for your compliment, too.

reply by Neonewman on 05-Dec-2017

My pleasure!

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

Hello Sis Cat
You've done the ghazal form well
I don't personally care for the repetition of this form
Just person preference; I think the form would be better
with different rhymes and repeat ivy in the last couplet
Fortunately, this isn't poison ivy, though.
Excellent photo and font match
Nicely done for the form
RS

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017

Yes, RS, I have been listening and reading ghazals in their original language of Urdu and Pashto. While I do not understand a word, I do understand that they use the repetitions as a rhythmic beat. This creates a yo-yo effect in which couplets spin off and return to a single rhyme. I love the challenge this structure presents.

Yes, fortunately my family did not grow poison ivy in the front lawn. Thank you for your cheerful review.

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Nice image with font to match.
-Author notes are appreciated.
-Each couplet seems to tell its
own little story.
-The unrequited love is included
in the beginning.
-The poem ends well with
the Mother's Day gift.
-Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017

Oh, thank you, Pam, for your review. Yes, each couplet tells a story. Thanks.

reply by Pam (respa) on 06-Dec-2017

You are very welcome and deserving, Sis Cat.

Comment from MelB

Excellent

You have created a unique piece here. Very nice description and imagery of the ivy and the many uses, including throwing out tools. Loved that line!

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017

Yes, MelB, when I found my father's tools in the ivy, I wondered how they got there given that he had left the family when I was four. It only now occurs to me that my mother may have thrown them there. Thank you for your review.

reply by MelB on 06-Dec-2017

Oh, I thought you were saying you threw them there, and they were a step fathers. Maybe, I read that wrong.

Comment from Earthlover

Excellent

I love this, it flows very well and is eloquent. I really like this verse..."Although sycamore leaves escape your rake,
the vine canopy traps them in ivy."
I enjoy the repititon of the word Ivy in this poem. Very well done and thanks for sharing your gift.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017

Oh, thank you, Earthlover, for your review. I am glad you enjoyed the repetition of ivy. Other reviewers wanted changing rhymes as in much English poetry, but when I looked at ghazals written in the original languages of Urdu and Pashto, the poets repeat the same word at the end of each couplet. Thanks also for pointing out the verse you really liked.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Andre,

I can't attest to form and structure on many poems but I enjoyed this piece. It's a very different thing than I've seen before but the refrain/repetition works very well. Some nice juxtaposition of description throughout.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017

Thank you, G., for your review. After I had written half a dozen sonnets, I wanted to explore a different poetic from from another part of the world. I am glad you enjoyed this piece, and thank you for wishing me all the best.

Comment from artemis53

Excellent

I had to read this a few times to get the gist of this even after reading your notes. It took me awhile to see the polar opposite comparisons with the messy shoes as opposed to the cala lily wrapped in the ivy. I did my best.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017

Thank you for doing your best, artemis53. One thing I am known for is including opposites in the same poem or story to create a balance. The thing about ivy is that it entangles the good with the bad, the happy memories with the sad. This accounts for my inclusion of opposites. Thank you for your review.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

The word Ivy bring forth the concept of poison Ivy-love gone bad. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017

Yes, c_lucas, many reviewers mentioned poison ivy. At one point my poem had a couplet on the Batman villain Poison Ivy, but I deleted it to focus on the regular ivy which grew in the corner of my family's yard half a century ago. Thank you for your review.

Comment from wordsmithbully

Exceptional

Wow!!! I love this. This is very unique and different. I read this twice!! Very amazing and gifted writer. You've influenced and inspire me to write better! Thanks!

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017

Oh, thank you, wordsmithbully, for your generous, six star review. I am glad this inspired you to write better.