Moonlight Mysteries
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Alone"Two young women make a moonlit exchange.
22 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent and interesting story. The dialogue is great and makes the story more believable. As a reader, I could picture the scene taking place in that farmhouse. Great work.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
  |
Excellent and interesting story. The dialogue is great and makes the story more believable. As a reader, I could picture the scene taking place in that farmhouse. Great work.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
-
Wow, thanks for the comments on the imagery. Very helpful in further chapter and story development.
Rhonda
Comment from LaRosa
You could easily have called the chapter 'Early Harvest'. The allusion to the birth of the child to come and the season coming to fruition is a nice moment. And, I love the imagery used that lead the reader into a gentle moment of peace and beauty.
The horrors of verbal, physical, and emotional abuse are told in an all too real setting and are shockingly related. It is the story of too many children through out the ages and your have done an excellent job in the telling.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
 |
You could easily have called the chapter 'Early Harvest'. The allusion to the birth of the child to come and the season coming to fruition is a nice moment. And, I love the imagery used that lead the reader into a gentle moment of peace and beauty.
The horrors of verbal, physical, and emotional abuse are told in an all too real setting and are shockingly related. It is the story of too many children through out the ages and your have done an excellent job in the telling.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
-
Again, thank you for the beautiful six stars, but even more for your comments. I actually replied to your second one first, and then this. It's funny how you said about what I did. You are very tuned in to this message, and that is the greatest compliment of all.
I'm glad you caught the imagery and its meaning. You're the first to comment on it, even if others noticed. Early Harvest is a great title. It works for the 3rd chapter even more.
Thank you for your wonderful words, and great attention to the material.
Take care,
Rhonda
-
I got behind in reading/reviewing and found the later chapter first. Usually I try to get 'em in order. but it all worked out well this time.
-
That's okay. I posted all three close together so the whole point would be gotten. Did you read the last one, too? It's called "Forbidden". It ties the three together. Don't feel you need to add another 6, but I do want to see what you think about that one, too.
-
That's okay. I posted all three close together so the whole point would be gotten. Did you read the last one, too? It's called "Forbidden". It ties the three together. Don't feel you need to add another 6, but I do want to see what you think about that one, too.
-
For some crazy reason I have sixes to share and they don't go easily. :)
-
I am deeply honored, I assure you!
Comment from F. Wehr3
Rhonda, I thought this was fantastic! I mean the scene is terrible, but the writing is so frickin' good. You hooked me!
She stroked the silky tendrils spilling out its top, and, for a moment, smiled. --I think you can delete the first comma before and because it's just one sentence with a parenthetical expression or aside (for a moment).
They were sitting at the dinner table eating chicken fried steak, buttery mashed potatoes, and fried okra from the garden. --You made me hungry!
Her father bellowed, his eyes opened wide with anger. --Suggest a semi-colon instead of comma after bellowed.
Terrific work! I hope you are doing well.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
|
Rhonda, I thought this was fantastic! I mean the scene is terrible, but the writing is so frickin' good. You hooked me!
She stroked the silky tendrils spilling out its top, and, for a moment, smiled. --I think you can delete the first comma before and because it's just one sentence with a parenthetical expression or aside (for a moment).
They were sitting at the dinner table eating chicken fried steak, buttery mashed potatoes, and fried okra from the garden. --You made me hungry!
Her father bellowed, his eyes opened wide with anger. --Suggest a semi-colon instead of comma after bellowed.
Terrific work! I hope you are doing well.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
-
Russell, thank you for reading, and for the wonderful six star review. It's a pretty tough subject to tackle, and I thought a lot about it before posting. It wasn't easy to put something like this out there, but I'm glad I did, and I appreciate your comments. It helps.
I am doing much better, my friend. My stamina has returned, and I'm working on rebuilding core strength. It's been a journey, and I think it's changed me as a person.
Thanks for the six, and thanks for the incredible support.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Sankey
So glad I have come upon this sad, sad story. I am glad you let us know it was the brother -in-law's child. I would have figured eventually. Great storytelling, have not seen you in a while. No spags.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
|
So glad I have come upon this sad, sad story. I am glad you let us know it was the brother -in-law's child. I would have figured eventually. Great storytelling, have not seen you in a while. No spags.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
-
Thank you. I read this review second, so I may repeat myself, but I am so glad to hear from you. You've been a great support for me over these past months.
When I put it together for a book, I will probably make it less obvious about the brother-in-law, but on a site like this, you don't always have continuity of readers so you have to be a little less subtle.
Thank you, again,
Rhonda
-
Well done Sis and I look forward to continuing with this as it goes along.
Comment from apky
A great story addressing an issue that really concerned and plagued the society - in some parts of the world even today. Whatever nature wanted to arrange, there are times when women do have the dirty end of the stick.
Poor Mindy, with her abuser standing there trying to play the kind saviour.
Excellent writing, no spags that I could detect.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
|
A great story addressing an issue that really concerned and plagued the society - in some parts of the world even today. Whatever nature wanted to arrange, there are times when women do have the dirty end of the stick.
Poor Mindy, with her abuser standing there trying to play the kind saviour.
Excellent writing, no spags that I could detect.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
-
Thank you, apky.
You're right, so much abuse is around, and a lot of people don't believe it's possible. The good thing is, there won't be a lot of it in this book. I'm just setting the stage for something that is about to happen.
Thanks for reading and commenting,
Rhonda
Comment from robyn corum
Rhonda,
What a terrible, rotten situation for a young girl to be in. And with a lovely family to support her during this trying and scary time. ugh. Nicely written and well-plotted. If the piece had been longer I would have gladly kept reading. *smile*
Some notes:
1.) "So, what's the little bastard's name that got you knocked up?"
--> This seems to be talking about two different people. The 'little b*****d' - who is the child, himself/herself, and then the one who got you knocked up. Needs revising, I think.
2.) A streak of brown gravy stained [d- 'the'] one corner of his mouth.
Thanks! I look forward to more!
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
|
Rhonda,
What a terrible, rotten situation for a young girl to be in. And with a lovely family to support her during this trying and scary time. ugh. Nicely written and well-plotted. If the piece had been longer I would have gladly kept reading. *smile*
Some notes:
1.) "So, what's the little bastard's name that got you knocked up?"
--> This seems to be talking about two different people. The 'little b*****d' - who is the child, himself/herself, and then the one who got you knocked up. Needs revising, I think.
2.) A streak of brown gravy stained [d- 'the'] one corner of his mouth.
Thanks! I look forward to more!
Comment Written 18-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
-
Thank you so much, Robyn! It is a bad situation, but it has a purpose. I was also try to shed light on the differences between the "old" way of treating your pregnant girls, to the more modern and sympathetic way.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good chapter, it stands alone as a well told story.
Nicely done. The characters are strong and believable.
I look forward to reading more, and finding out if the baby is a boy or girl.
I'm guessing girl.
Sharon
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
|
This is a good chapter, it stands alone as a well told story.
Nicely done. The characters are strong and believable.
I look forward to reading more, and finding out if the baby is a boy or girl.
I'm guessing girl.
Sharon
Comment Written 18-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
-
Thank you, Sharon. The next chapter will reveal the gender (three). Kind of won't be what you expect, though.
Thanks, again, for keeping reading.
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
I know there was a hangover from the days of my my growing up years in 1968 Rhonda, I was there.
Welcome back Rhonda my friend, I hope you're feeling a little better.
The males in this story ate a little less than compassionate, particularly the brother in law, seeing he's the one who sullied Mindy in the first place. Excellent story Rhonda, it's hard reading, I don't like violence against women, it ranks with child abuse. Well done, good scribing, very polished, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
|
I know there was a hangover from the days of my my growing up years in 1968 Rhonda, I was there.
Welcome back Rhonda my friend, I hope you're feeling a little better.
The males in this story ate a little less than compassionate, particularly the brother in law, seeing he's the one who sullied Mindy in the first place. Excellent story Rhonda, it's hard reading, I don't like violence against women, it ranks with child abuse. Well done, good scribing, very polished, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 18-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
-
Hi, Roy!!
Yes, I was a child of the 60's as well. Things were pretty tough in rural Texas about that time. I'm basing the story, loosely, off of a family I know around here. They grew up in the 30's and 40's, but it wasn't so very different. The father was a tyrant and the kids hated him (all 14 of them).
Thanks for the beautiful 6 stars. They warm my heart,
I am much better now, thank you, but it took me a while to get my wings back. Got'em now. Thank you so much.
Rhonda
-
I'm pleased your back my friend
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I want to shoot both Chuck and Henry. I understand that in 1968 things were not positive when it came to pregnant and unmarried. I can't wait for more.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
|
I want to shoot both Chuck and Henry. I understand that in 1968 things were not positive when it came to pregnant and unmarried. I can't wait for more.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
-
Thank you, Barbara!
Yes, it was a harsh time. I started to set it back another decade or two, but wanted to present the changes in society that were going on at the time. I'll get to that part in a chapter or two.
Thanks so much for years of support!
Rhonda
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Oh this is so, so sad. It is VERY close to home for me, in that I had (fortunately at twenty three not fourteen( a very similar experience. I am so sorry for any child or woman who has to go through this. Men can really be beasts though I have read that as many as 8 percent of women are paedophiles and they reckon the figure is actually much higher it just doesn't get reported. Kind regards and props on writing a wonderful if very sad piece. Kindest regards Meia xxx
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
|
Oh this is so, so sad. It is VERY close to home for me, in that I had (fortunately at twenty three not fourteen( a very similar experience. I am so sorry for any child or woman who has to go through this. Men can really be beasts though I have read that as many as 8 percent of women are paedophiles and they reckon the figure is actually much higher it just doesn't get reported. Kind regards and props on writing a wonderful if very sad piece. Kindest regards Meia xxx
Comment Written 18-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
-
Thank you for the sensitive review, Meia. I remember you writing about your experiences, and it's a sad situation anytime a woman has to go through such abuse.
I am so glad you've read this, and hope you follow it as I can use your input into how realistic it may be. Feel free to comment on that part as well. Only the first few chapters will be this intense about the pregnancy and birth. After that, it will take a different track.
Thank you,
Rhonda
