Reviews from

Love on That Rainy Day

Our very first weekend to Niagara Falls, our special place.

9 total reviews 
Comment from Liberty Justice
Excellent
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Beautiful! You just got my thumbs up that launched you from third into second. Congrats! Hope you win. Your story is so loving and caring, and I like the way you two kept love alive by taking several intimate trips. This was such a powerful delightful story. truly, liberty justice

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
    Thank you very much!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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This speaks about the sensational feeling on dating romance, about their first weekend to Niagara Falls, how they enjoyed the rain, laughter with hearing song on radio; I liked.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    Thanks for you comments, I appreciate your feedback.
Comment from zanya
Excellent
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I read and reread this wonderful tale of love going right instead of going wrong as we hear so much about these days - friendship and genuine love what a wonderful package on which to build a life -- may you enjoy many more glorious years together

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    Thanks you so much for your kind comments.
Comment from Brigitte Elko
Excellent
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This story was so elegantly told from beginning to end. You describe a relationship most people can only dream of and never have. Detailing your life story with such descriptive words and adding song titles to enhance this beautiful love story was inspirational. This is an excellent contest entry. ( I have been married for 49 years and ours is a love story, also. We are fortunate).
Thank you for sharing,
Brigitte

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
    Thank you so much Brigitte, I am so happy that your marriage is also a happy one. All the best, Laura
Comment from Mustang Patty
Excellent
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Hi there;
Thank you so much for sharing your dating romance story. I think it is so important to continue 'dating' after you are married. It keeps the magic and wonder alive. You described a beautiful relationship - congratulations!

~patty~

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2017
    Thanks so much for your comments.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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Music often plays a big part in people's relationships and brings back those happy memories. I am so glad your son returned to you and that you are no very close, this is such a good thing for you, I have never seen Niagara Falls, what a great sight that must be. Your story is honest, true and a delight to read, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2017
    Thanks very much for your comments.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Average
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This is all run together in a giant paragraph, but should be divided up. Between paragraphs, you need to double space.

This is one place to change to a new paragraph: We talked for hours and couldn't take our eyes from each other. **new paragraph, double space** Two weeks from the day we met I moved into his apartment...

Here is another place where you change the subject but neglect to start a new paragraph:

Now he has a wife and three beautiful children and they live very close to us. **new paragraph, double space** One of the ways we managed to keep our love and intimacy alive was to take several mini trips a year usually to Niagara Falls Ontario.

You really need to learn to write sentences correctly, using punctuation where it belongs. For a terrific site to learn about comma usage, CLICK HERE.


 Comment Written 17-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2017
    Hi thanks for this review, I wrote it late last night and meant to edit it before posting it. I have changed some of the grammar. You really said nothing about the actual story?
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
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This is called Love On That Rainy Day based on true love lost love I don't know what kind of love is love but it had good seamen imagery with red well had no grammar issues both contents of objective and subjective were alright descriptive measures was okay also thanks for this talk to Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2017
    Hi, Ricky thanks for this review I edited it a bit today. I really appreciate your comments.
Comment from giraffmang
Good
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Hi there,

It may be an idea to take a look at your formatting / presentation here. I think it would be more appealing if you separated this out into paragraphs rather than a single block of unbroken text.

One day as I was reminiscing about the first time we met and how we were so crazy in love.- delete 'as' from here. This suggests that something was happening during the reminiscing.

It felt like we were in a bubble, nothing existed but us and the way we felt - try to avoid repetition, especially within the same sentence.

It is a little muddled in the opening lines when you talk and 'we', then 'he' then 'you'.

A good read.
GMG

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2017
    Thanks for your comments. I have made some changes as you suggested. I appreciate your help.