Daisy Chain
A picture this challenge poem28 total reviews
Comment from closetpoetjester
What a lovely analogy to life and some sound advice me thinks. Whilst the daisy is not my absolute first favourite I can see the inspiration it gave you for this lovely poem. A delight to read and I shall take your profound words on board and ensure my cracks don't widen too far before I make a brand new start LOL
Loved!! Expertly written and superbly rhymed. Sorry no sixers left.
Cheers P
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
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What a lovely analogy to life and some sound advice me thinks. Whilst the daisy is not my absolute first favourite I can see the inspiration it gave you for this lovely poem. A delight to read and I shall take your profound words on board and ensure my cracks don't widen too far before I make a brand new start LOL
Loved!! Expertly written and superbly rhymed. Sorry no sixers left.
Cheers P
Comment Written 10-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
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Hi P Thanks for your review for my Daisy Chain I think we all have to take care of our cracks and ensure the daisies alway grow through. I enjoyed writing this and have had lovely comments and your comments are so appreciated . Sixes don't matter I am pleased you enjoyed this Cheers Christine
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Hi P Thanks for your review for my Daisy Chain I think we all have to take care of our cracks and ensure the daisies alway grow through. I enjoyed writing this and have had lovely comments and your comments are so appreciated . Sixes don't matter I am pleased you enjoyed this Cheers Christine
Comment from RGstar
Lovely metaphors, dear Chrissy. Lovely phrases with its rhymes. A nice aura embraces the seem.
Beautifully done. Wishing you a nice day.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
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Lovely metaphors, dear Chrissy. Lovely phrases with its rhymes. A nice aura embraces the seem.
Beautifully done. Wishing you a nice day.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 09-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
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Hi RG Thanks for stopping by to read my Daisy Chain post. I enjoyed this challenge and never know what to write until I start and then it just comes out. You too have a great day Many Cheers Christine
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Christine.
Beautiful work and a great answer to the challenge.
I love the story and the sentiment behind it. Sometimes, we do let the cracks open up too wide and those daisy get hidden in the deep dark depths.
Great job and Delia say Kumusta.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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G'day Christine.
Beautiful work and a great answer to the challenge.
I love the story and the sentiment behind it. Sometimes, we do let the cracks open up too wide and those daisy get hidden in the deep dark depths.
Great job and Delia say Kumusta.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Of Fez you often make my day Thank you so much for your terrific support and lovely words for my work . Kumusta to Delia and all the family It is a bright sunny day so lots of Daisies out sending you a big bunch Cheers Christine
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Always welcome, mate.
I wish it was bright and sunny here lol. We are getting hit with another low pressure system named "Shalome" I think. Kapoy na uwan, ako! (I'm tired of the rain.)
Comment from frogbook
Great and original interpretation of our picture this time. It was a good one and brought out a lot of ideas. Lovely and happy concept for yours.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Great and original interpretation of our picture this time. It was a good one and brought out a lot of ideas. Lovely and happy concept for yours.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Hi frogbook, Thanls for tou review and kind words And yes there are some terrific poems for this image I have enjoyed reading everyones differences. Glad to be part of this group Cheers Christine
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is excellent. It contains very good advice. I'm going to post it on my bathroom mirror. Words to live by. Thanks for writing them. Not only is it a great thought, but it rhymes.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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This is excellent. It contains very good advice. I'm going to post it on my bathroom mirror. Words to live by. Thanks for writing them. Not only is it a great thought, but it rhymes.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Hi Thomas. Oh I am so happy you thought it good enough to post on your bathroom mirror. what an honour. Thanks for reading and reviewing my Daisy Chain and for you lovely compliment Cheers Christine
Comment from Boogienights
This poem is very beautiful with great imagery. Your sentiment is true, especially about filling in the cracks and holding everything together with love. I think you are on to something! Thank you for sharing this uplifting, positive message.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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This poem is very beautiful with great imagery. Your sentiment is true, especially about filling in the cracks and holding everything together with love. I think you are on to something! Thank you for sharing this uplifting, positive message.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Hi Boogienights, Thanks very much for your review and encouraging words and As long as our cracks stay small a bit of love will fix them up. I love daisies they always remind me of Spring and new beginnings. Have a lovely day Cheers Christine
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, an expressive message, well addressed, but uneven in spots, requiring just a bit more attention. Reading the poem aloud several times usually corrects this, by either adding or deleting words for a smoother rhythm I especially like this poem, because as a Junior in high school, I received the distinct honor of participating in our Daisy Chain during the Senior graduation ceremonies, specific for girls who had achieved high academic marks - so this poem holds special significance for me. Thank you for a very pleasant memory of a special honor and event...
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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In my opinion, an expressive message, well addressed, but uneven in spots, requiring just a bit more attention. Reading the poem aloud several times usually corrects this, by either adding or deleting words for a smoother rhythm I especially like this poem, because as a Junior in high school, I received the distinct honor of participating in our Daisy Chain during the Senior graduation ceremonies, specific for girls who had achieved high academic marks - so this poem holds special significance for me. Thank you for a very pleasant memory of a special honor and event...
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Hi Eve, Thanks for your review and if possible can you let me know which lines or words make this uneven as there are exactly 10 syllables in each line and should be even in meter. But please let me know so I can correct this. I am glad tonough that the title gave you a reminicnce of your Junior school days event. Thanks so much for reading and for your comments and rating Cheers Christine
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My dear Christine,
My understanding regarding writing reviews is, that we offer our opinions and suggestions and that is up to the writer to accept or reject our comments. We are certainly not required, or in any position to advise the writer how or what to write. I offered my suggestion about reading the poem aloud several times to "hear" the uneven spots for yourself. After all, this is YOUR poem, and my opinion is just that, MY opinion. I am really concerned that you would ask this of me - I have never asked this of another writer.
I do not adhere to specific formats in my own writing, so how many syllables or what the style is, is completely irrelevant to me. It is the sound and the rhythm of the read that "makes" the poem for me. In free style poetry, it is also the meter, but more importantly, the lyric quality of the poem. In my own works, I simply write, and the sound becomes the thing.
You asked, therefore:
"We all have cracks upon our shell
But then within, strong daisies dwell,
They hold our mind and body well
And should we split, no-one can tell."
I consider my rewrite definitive presumption on my part and will reconsider reviewing your poetry in the future. Perhaps that was your objective after all, because I can see no other benefit or reason for your request ...Eve
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Hi Eve, i am very sorry if I have offended you with my reply to your original review to my poem Daisy Chain stating you thought it uneven when read aloud. I believe the whole purpose of being here on FS it to have peer review of ones work and if a reviewer finds something not quite right with the poems structure offer an alternative suggustion and let the writer then decide to accept or reject this.
I have often given an opinion on a poem and ususally the writer is gracious enough to reply in a positive manner and thank me for my suggestion, without taking offence.
So I do thank you for your suggestions and put them to consideration.
I dont expect any writer in particular to review my work and I always appreciate everyones review, comments and suggestions. This is how we learn and grow as writers.
I will understand if you no longer wish to review my work and have enjoyed our past comminications. I did not wish to offend you
Cheers Christine
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Thank you for your response, Christine, and your apology, though the apology was not expected or necessary. I maintain my position of a review/critique, versus a "teaching session," that's all. I am not qualified in this regard. That is the reason I suggested you read your poem aloud several times, because employing this exercise works for me. You are the writer and a seasoned one at that, so I know you can "hear" the uneven texture as you read, but read it objectively, not as you intended it to sound. In rhyming poetry, [in my opinion], the sing/song sound has the right sound and usually the right rhythm as a result. [I wish I could have underlined that statement] My suggestion was only to assist you in considering revisions...Eve
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Hi Eve. Many thanks for your response and I will certainly take your advice on board in the future. I try hard to get the rhythm correct with my writing and Sometimes it is quite and individual interpretation and does depend on the way we pronounce words So even language is different all round the world . I hope to have your continued support and welcome any further comments Have a lovely day Eve Cheers Christine
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You are very welcome, Christine - one writer to another. Interestingly, as long as the words are in English, the rhyming and rhythm works as I suggested, but whatever - I delighted in the read, and thank you for an auspicious memory...Eve
Comment from lyenochka
What an innovative spin off this Picture Challenge. You start with the picture and then made a spiritual lesson from the growth of daisies that stand strong together.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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What an innovative spin off this Picture Challenge. You start with the picture and then made a spiritual lesson from the growth of daisies that stand strong together.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Hi lyenochka. Thank you for reading my challenge poem for this image and this poem just came put once ai wrote the first line and hopefully may may people reflect on the message Cheers Christine
Comment from frierajac
I can see in the photo, now that you have illustrated it with this poem, how it could be interpreted as a daisy and some chair. It appeared to me to be daisies in railroad tracks being pulled up. anyway, you interpretation is delightful and heartening.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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I can see in the photo, now that you have illustrated it with this poem, how it could be interpreted as a daisy and some chair. It appeared to me to be daisies in railroad tracks being pulled up. anyway, you interpretation is delightful and heartening.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Hi Frierjac. Oh Thank you so much for your lovely review and wonderful stars so much appreciated. I enjoyed thinking up an interpretation and this just came out when I started. Your review is most welcome Cheers Christine
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Christine. I like your monorhymed stanzas for this post of Picture This. The daisy is one of the hardiest flowers, yet simple and charming. I like your new profile photo. Very pretty. Marilyn
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Hi Christine. I like your monorhymed stanzas for this post of Picture This. The daisy is one of the hardiest flowers, yet simple and charming. I like your new profile photo. Very pretty. Marilyn
Comment Written 07-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Hi Marilyn, Thanks for your review and this monorhyme just happened in the 1 st stanza and I thought I would continue each one. A different style for me bit I think it worked this time. Thanks for taking a peek and glad you like my profile pic ( recent Bali trip) Cheers And hugs Christine
