The Cardinal
A poignant moment from my childhood.45 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I don't know if there was any ADD involved here but I've been told it is we 80 deep people who see cardinals I'm supposed to see are petals of our bike. You were very in tune with that cardinal: "I felt such an overwhelming sadness emanating from him that it touched me to the core. A beautifully sad story. You give it the beauty.
  |
I don't know if there was any ADD involved here but I've been told it is we 80 deep people who see cardinals I'm supposed to see are petals of our bike. You were very in tune with that cardinal: "I felt such an overwhelming sadness emanating from him that it touched me to the core. A beautifully sad story. You give it the beauty.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2024
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello!
Yes. Cardinals do mate for life. I found your piece poignant and engaging. As a small child, this experience would have definitely had a profound effect on your life.
A fine offering.
Best Wishes,
diane
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
|
Hello!
Yes. Cardinals do mate for life. I found your piece poignant and engaging. As a small child, this experience would have definitely had a profound effect on your life.
A fine offering.
Best Wishes,
diane
Comment Written 24-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
-
Thanks very much!
Comment from Carolyn Shelton
Oh so very touching! I love cardinals.
How very sweet that they mate for life, makes me think of penguins, for they do as well.
You wrote this story very well, the tenderness comes through in it.
Great job! I really like the picture too.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
|
Oh so very touching! I love cardinals.
How very sweet that they mate for life, makes me think of penguins, for they do as well.
You wrote this story very well, the tenderness comes through in it.
Great job! I really like the picture too.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
-
Thanks, Carolyn!
Comment from Dumbledor
Really nice natural story, told with great sincerity. Your awareness of the natural world, resonates in the way you tell your story. Very pleasant reading. Best of luck in the contest. Oh..and Really nice photo...with your story.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
|
Really nice natural story, told with great sincerity. Your awareness of the natural world, resonates in the way you tell your story. Very pleasant reading. Best of luck in the contest. Oh..and Really nice photo...with your story.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
-
Thank you so much.
Comment from Rikki66
Well written and to the point. Easily understandable and touching. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Continue the good work in the future.xoxo Rikki
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2017
|
Well written and to the point. Easily understandable and touching. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Continue the good work in the future.xoxo Rikki
Comment Written 21-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2017
-
Thanks so much, Merry Christmas.
Comment from Wetbelly01
Neat story.... Very touching.... I would think it would well in the contest....
I don't see any issues that need addressing.... It is well written...
Good Job!... Well Done! Merry Christmas to you and yours!!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
|
Neat story.... Very touching.... I would think it would well in the contest....
I don't see any issues that need addressing.... It is well written...
Good Job!... Well Done! Merry Christmas to you and yours!!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
-
Thank you, I appreciate your feedback.
-
You're very welcome!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
What a sad story. I wish I had not read it... too depressing for me. I need happy stories. But it does show that animals, even birds, share emotions with us. Humans are not as special as we pretend to be. :)
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
|
What a sad story. I wish I had not read it... too depressing for me. I need happy stories. But it does show that animals, even birds, share emotions with us. Humans are not as special as we pretend to be. :)
Comment Written 20-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2017
-
Thank you for your comments.
Comment from estory
The language is colorful, descriptive, and you take us to this moment, this place and time, when you make this almost spiritual connection to the bird who lost his mate in the road. It is kind of epiphany moment. I think if you had brought your sister along, and opened up the story with some dialogue, and an interchange of emotions between you and your sister, it would have made the story come even more alive. Set the scene a little more. Why is this such an epiphany moment for you? Where were you coming from, that when you saw this bird in this moment, it changed your perception of life? Take us through the transformation. This is what the story needs to do. Push yourself a little more and the story will be bigger, better. But the tools are there, the handling of the language is good. estory
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
|
The language is colorful, descriptive, and you take us to this moment, this place and time, when you make this almost spiritual connection to the bird who lost his mate in the road. It is kind of epiphany moment. I think if you had brought your sister along, and opened up the story with some dialogue, and an interchange of emotions between you and your sister, it would have made the story come even more alive. Set the scene a little more. Why is this such an epiphany moment for you? Where were you coming from, that when you saw this bird in this moment, it changed your perception of life? Take us through the transformation. This is what the story needs to do. Push yourself a little more and the story will be bigger, better. But the tools are there, the handling of the language is good. estory
Comment Written 13-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
-
Thanks for your feedback I really appreciate it.
Comment from LeRoy Bertsch
A wonderful story. I think of summer days when I would lay in the grass and look up at the clouds and try to see shapes like a Snoopy or a turtle sometimes I wonder if my kids know there are clouds in the sky.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
|
A wonderful story. I think of summer days when I would lay in the grass and look up at the clouds and try to see shapes like a Snoopy or a turtle sometimes I wonder if my kids know there are clouds in the sky.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
-
Thank you for your comments. All the best Laura
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is a sad story. Sometimes people whohave been married for a long time die within days of each other. It's like the give up. One doesn't want to live without the other.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
|
This is a sad story. Sometimes people whohave been married for a long time die within days of each other. It's like the give up. One doesn't want to live without the other.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
-
Thanks for your comments, sincerely laura
