Where the Pandas Play
A monorhyme7 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This monorhyme, Where the Pandas Play, is well done for a couple of reasons. It follows the required rhyming end word challenge, but also keeps the other creatures, introduced within the environment, germane to the area and the culture. The koi, dragonfly, cranes, and the lotus blossoms all add to this poems space.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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This monorhyme, Where the Pandas Play, is well done for a couple of reasons. It follows the required rhyming end word challenge, but also keeps the other creatures, introduced within the environment, germane to the area and the culture. The koi, dragonfly, cranes, and the lotus blossoms all add to this poems space.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Thank you for your insightful comments. I tried to stay true to image I was trying to paint with words. Kangaroos and crocodiles would not have worked!
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning Anonymous Poet: You did very well with this writing prompt. All the rhymes fall perfectly into place and yet your poem gave me a full vision of what you wanted it to give. You used great imagery which made me want to visit your homeland also. Great job!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Good morning Anonymous Poet: You did very well with this writing prompt. All the rhymes fall perfectly into place and yet your poem gave me a full vision of what you wanted it to give. You used great imagery which made me want to visit your homeland also. Great job!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much for sharing my journey back home.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Dear Anonymous Poet;
Thank you so much for sharing your mother's thoughts of her homeland. I've always thought it would be hard to live a life away from your place of origin. (I'm not sure why; I left New Jersey when I was seventeen, and I've only been back once.)
Your monorhyme works well and I enjoyed the rhythm of your lines,
~patty~
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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Dear Anonymous Poet;
Thank you so much for sharing your mother's thoughts of her homeland. I've always thought it would be hard to live a life away from your place of origin. (I'm not sure why; I left New Jersey when I was seventeen, and I've only been back once.)
Your monorhyme works well and I enjoyed the rhythm of your lines,
~patty~
Comment Written 21-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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Thank you for your insights. Appreciate your stopping by to read and review.
Comment from oliver818
I enjoyed this poem it's lovel . Ironically I love in China now, though I'm not Chinese at all. I love Chinese poetry though, they have a powerful way of writing. Thanks for sharing and have yourself a really great day
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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I enjoyed this poem it's lovel . Ironically I love in China now, though I'm not Chinese at all. I love Chinese poetry though, they have a powerful way of writing. Thanks for sharing and have yourself a really great day
Comment Written 21-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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Thank you for your kind consideration. Appreciate your taking the time to read and review, all the way from China.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written monorhyme poem about the place where Pandas play. It seems to be a very nice place to go and make all the daily worries go away while playing with the pandas every day.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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A very well-written monorhyme poem about the place where Pandas play. It seems to be a very nice place to go and make all the daily worries go away while playing with the pandas every day.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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I'll meet you there! Thank you for stopping by to read and review.
Comment from rama devi
Lovely imagery, rhymes and alliteration make this fun to read aloud and visualize as well. you've covered visual and auditory bases well, and the presentation is lovely. WOuld love to visit the playing pandas too.
Favorite lines:
where pink lotus blossoms float in splendid array
amidst silver koi fish in the month of May
where dragonfly wings spread in full display
and courting cranes swoop and splash all day
*suggestion:
take me back home(,) and I'll no longer stray
Nice closing note:
for home is where the heart is - and there I will stay
however, using a cliche HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS weakens that closing a bit. Suggest rewording with fresh phrasing style.
Best,
rd
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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Lovely imagery, rhymes and alliteration make this fun to read aloud and visualize as well. you've covered visual and auditory bases well, and the presentation is lovely. WOuld love to visit the playing pandas too.
Favorite lines:
where pink lotus blossoms float in splendid array
amidst silver koi fish in the month of May
where dragonfly wings spread in full display
and courting cranes swoop and splash all day
*suggestion:
take me back home(,) and I'll no longer stray
Nice closing note:
for home is where the heart is - and there I will stay
however, using a cliche HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS weakens that closing a bit. Suggest rewording with fresh phrasing style.
Best,
rd
Comment Written 21-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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Thanks for the pointers. Will definitely tweek this. Glad you enjoyed the journey.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
there are some really good entries into this competition and this is no exception. You paint a wonderfully vivid picture here and the rhyming is spot on.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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Hi there,
there are some really good entries into this competition and this is no exception. You paint a wonderfully vivid picture here and the rhyming is spot on.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 21-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2017
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Thank you for your kind comments and insights.
