Reviews from

Deep in Thought

A Rondelet for the contest

82 total reviews 
Comment from livelylinda
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Toni: your words and picture remind me of all the times I have looked at a very young child who is barely talking and wondered how and what floats in and out of their immature minds?? You have said this so eloquently within this poem. Lovely work and congrats on winning the contest. Linda

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2017


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017
    Very many thanks for your review of "Deep in Thought", Linda and for the six stars and congratulations. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Tier V. King
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good morning Fawcus:

This poem is exceptional and I just used my last six star but your poem is so worthy. I see that you have won first prize with this remarkable poem. I also see that once again you are sharing a picture of perfection, your grand daughter. I am so happy that you have your grandaughter. it is such a very special relationship. If you have read my poem "Grand Mom's Lost" then you already know that I have not seem my only grandchild since before my oldest son (grandchild's father) passed away. My grandson was four years old then. He is now thirteen years old.

Anyway, let me get back on the subject. Your poem is amazing.

CONGRATULATIONS.

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
    Many thanks, Tier. I always value your kind words and support. Yes, I remember reading and reviewing your poem earlier this month. My heartfelt sympathy for your predicament. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from angel123
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the subject of your poem and I enjoyed reading it. It flows and rhymes well and good alliteration of w words. I also like your artwork choice. Best wishes and good luck in the contest.

angel123

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
    I appreciate your dropping by to review this one, Angel. Many thanks for your positive comments and good luck wishes. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a perfect explanation for this photo of your gorgeous grand daughter Tony. You often see the littlies in these pensive expressions and wonder what on earth they could be thinking. Great Rondelet and a perfect refrain line.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
    Many thanks, Valda. I always value your kind words and support. It would be fascinating to know what goes on in those tiny minds! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your Rondelet relates an interesting point, that is, youngsters learning a language from scratch as they word-find to make coherent talk. We think it comes so easily to babies, but does it? Nicely done with photo of beautiful Teagan. Marilyn

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
    Many thanks, Marilyn. I always value your kind words and support. They certainly seem to be hot-wired for success, when it comes to language learning. I think my abilities in that direction must have blown a fuse! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from For better for verse
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thought this was an excellent piece of writing.
I am new to Fanstory and in awe of some of the works that I read, this was very good indeed.
You are some way further up the Fan story 'ladder' than me, I intend to catch up, but with work like this it won't be easy.
Great job.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017
    Very many thanks, For better for verse, for your review and kind remarks about "Deep in Thought". Welcome to FS and good luck with your writing. I shall look forward to reading some of it.. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Ogden
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Tony, you've written an excellent Rondelet, giving voice to the child, unable to express those thoughts, but who likely is experiencing them.

Good luck in the contest.

Don

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017
    Very many thanks for your review and comments about "Deep in Thought", Don. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
reply by Ogden on 04-Oct-2017
    You are most welcome, Tony.
Comment from Sallyo
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You did find the perfect picture to go with this poem. I'm not all that familiar with the form, but as far as I can tell you have fitted it. I like the use of the word "accrue" which fits the sense and also adds a touch of the unusual to the piece. The repeating lines (yes, I know they have to be there) actively support the idea because they draw attention to the main point.
South Aus, eh? My son, a RAAFie, is stationed there at present.

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
    Thanks very much for your review, Sallyo, and your comments about the poem. Much appreciated. I guess your son would be at RAAF Edinburgh, up to the north of the city. All the best, Tony
reply by Sallyo on 28-Sep-2017
    That's the place. He trained there years ago and now he's back there.
Comment from Irish Rain
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, to be in the mind of a baby!! A beautiful baby at that!! I wonder if they really do 'ponder their words' ha ha. This is most charming! Blessings...

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2017
    Thanks for the review, Judy. Yes, it would be interesting to know what goes on in those little brains! All the best, Tony
reply by Irish Rain on 27-Sep-2017
    You're welcome!!
Comment from RPSaxena
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Tfawcus,
It's a nice piece of poetry meeting the desired norms, and beautifully depicting its theme.
Perfectly matching the theme phraseology.
Smooth and spontaneous flow with lovely rhyming scheme.
Picture enhances beauty of the poem.

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2017
    Thanks for your review, RP. I appreciate your kind comments and the six stars. Most generous! All the best, Tony
reply by RPSaxena on 29-Sep-2017
    Tony, Most Welcome!
    ~ RP