The Enormity of Silence
A true account26 total reviews
Comment from emptypage
Oh, wow. When I read this, I was impressed. When I read the notes and found it to be your personal story, I was amazed, and very sorry you had to endure this.
This quiet I, too, have known. It is never ending, and always comes to mind when beckoned.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
Oh, wow. When I read this, I was impressed. When I read the notes and found it to be your personal story, I was amazed, and very sorry you had to endure this.
This quiet I, too, have known. It is never ending, and always comes to mind when beckoned.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much. Truly appreciated.
Comment from RodG
This narrative poem about a trauma victim in an ambulance evokes our sympathy as we witness the victim's last moments through a loved one's eyes. You capture that short period of time effectively as we listen to voices around him before the stark quiet. The lines I respond to most: the frantic rush to do all that can be done/the words spoken aloud I refuse to hear.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
This narrative poem about a trauma victim in an ambulance evokes our sympathy as we witness the victim's last moments through a loved one's eyes. You capture that short period of time effectively as we listen to voices around him before the stark quiet. The lines I respond to most: the frantic rush to do all that can be done/the words spoken aloud I refuse to hear.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
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Thanks, Rod, much appreciated.
Comment from dragonpoet
This sounds like the horror after an ambulance ride to the hospital after an accident of maybe a heart attack at home. It is hard to believe someone you love is dying.
Sorry for your loss.
My question is who called the priest to meet you at the hospital. Or was it a hospital chaplain.?
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
This sounds like the horror after an ambulance ride to the hospital after an accident of maybe a heart attack at home. It is hard to believe someone you love is dying.
Sorry for your loss.
My question is who called the priest to meet you at the hospital. Or was it a hospital chaplain.?
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 28-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
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A hospital chaplain, but happened to be from our church (and a very nice guy). There were really no comforting words at the time and I was angry due to circumstances, I won't go into for now, so the"'word fluff" from everyone was just upsetting me more. Hard to know what to say at a time like this, hard to know what we want to hear too. Was many years ago now, though every once and a while something triggers a very vivid memory. Thanks for reading.
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You're welcome.
You are right it is hard to know what to say at this time. Sometimes it is best to just be there and be quiet.
dp
Comment from royowen
To either watch a loved one die, or indeed see them dead is quite traumatic, and people well meaningly mouth their condolence and sympathy, but nothing takes away the grief, only time. Nicely composed and shared. articulately voiced in grief's expression, in well written free verse, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
To either watch a loved one die, or indeed see them dead is quite traumatic, and people well meaningly mouth their condolence and sympathy, but nothing takes away the grief, only time. Nicely composed and shared. articulately voiced in grief's expression, in well written free verse, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 28-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much, Roy.
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Most welcome
Comment from c_lucas
Silence can be a wall defeating any sound. There can be a period when you plead for sound. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
Silence can be a wall defeating any sound. There can be a period when you plead for sound. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and your well written review.
Comment from Janilou
First of all, I am so, so sorry to read of your loss. I cannot imagine, nor do I want to imagine going through this. It is a credit to your strength of character that you can write of it with such deep expression and share your loss.
I didn't find anything to suggest or correct.
I wish you the best of luck in the writing prompt contest.
Jan
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
First of all, I am so, so sorry to read of your loss. I cannot imagine, nor do I want to imagine going through this. It is a credit to your strength of character that you can write of it with such deep expression and share your loss.
I didn't find anything to suggest or correct.
I wish you the best of luck in the writing prompt contest.
Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much. 30 years now so not the sharp pain, but no forgetting the day either. I appreciate your reading and your kind comments.