Comment from beizanten

Excellent

A short and simple yet well written and deep poetry. Well done, Keep up the great work allright



Good luck with your contest

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017

Thanks for the concise and positive review. I appreciate the good luck wishes.

dragonpoet

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

YES! Love the theme. Totally agree. Well voiced Lune. I don't think you need the ' on everybody. It's distracting. reads fine without it.


Also, I suggest replacing THE with a descriptive word. Example:

Great peace will abound

Superb closing line...insightful and apt.

Good luck in the contest.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017

Thanks for the kind comments and editing help, I made the changes.. I have had some read everybody as 5 syllables so I used the ' to ensure it being read as 4.

reply by rama devi on 31-Aug-2017

Thanks for your kind reply, DP. Yes, that was clear, but most people would understand you meant it as four if they thought about it. :) Just my two cents!

:))))

Comment from PoemsOfDD

Excellent

Dragonpoet - this is a good entry for the Lune poem contest. Syllables are all in check with a strong message of equality for all. I did ponder on the word 'The' in the last line and thought perhaps 'World' may be more powerful. Just a suggestion, good luck in the competition. ~DD

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017

Thanks for reading and review. I made the change.
I appreciate the good luck wishes.

dp

Comment from Poetic Friend

Excellent

Amen to this poem. In this world, everyone should count. Every one is equally important as the next person. If people just look at life as creatively stated in your poem, peace will abound.

Thank you for always posting poems that have great causes and messages.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017

Thanks for the review. and all the stars.

Joan

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Only three lines but says so much Everybody counts in life's game none should miss out on this, hoping that peace will abound. Good luck in the lune contest Dragon
Thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate all the stars.

dp

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

Yes my friend this is well written the way to a peaceful existence is that is everybody be treated the same equality well done good luck regards Jill

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 Comment Written 27-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2017

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Jill. Both are much appreciated.

Joan

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This lune, Equality, has the right set up and touches on what people are concerned most about in this season of emboldened white supremacists and fed up, paranoid minorities.

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 Comment Written 27-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2017

Thanks for reading. It is the only way to peace. Discrimination has no place in a peaceful world.

dp